


Outrunning Karma

by Eyemoonx657



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Green Lantern - All Media Types, Hal Jordan and the Green Lantern Corps (Comics)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Explicit Language, Fluff, Green Lantern Jason, Grief, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-17
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-06-28 18:59:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 33
Words: 69,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15713139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eyemoonx657/pseuds/Eyemoonx657
Summary: Jason was only trying to mourn his loss the best way he could, and it was working up until a bright power green ring, decided to give him a much better chance.( Or. A Green Lantern Jason AU no one asked for )





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Recently, one of DC's greatest rebirth run has come to an end. That's right, it's Hal Jordan and the Green Lanterns Corps. It was such an amazing story, and I'm really sad it was over. I've written this story while reading those lovely issues, but then that comic was wrapped up, issue #25 of RHAO happened, DC is going to publish 'Heroes in Crisis' where there's a possibility that Kyle will DIE! And I mean, WHY?  
> I've written this fic before any of those stuff happened. So, maybe you could count it as a canon thing, or an AU. I don't know.  
> Anyway, here's a Green Lantern Jason fic, because they're both one of DC's best creation.

With the final blow to his jaw, the last goon was dropped unconscious. Looking around the beaten men on the floor, he turned toward the only awake person in the warehouse.

He was the leader of that operation. Got the worst of it, shot to his side for the sake of being the top dog. Jason wasn't a monster, the guy could still live without a kidney. He just needed to make an example out of it.

Crime didn't pay.

He marched toward the injured man, holding his side and groaning in agony next to his fellow knocked out associates. Grabbed his hem, and yanked him up.

"Where's Black Mask's next weapon shipment?" Straight to the point. He was in no mood for games that night.

"Ugh... You're invitation got lost, you motherfu__UGH!!!"

Jason punched him hard on his open wound. "I don't have all night, you _ape._ TALK."

"...T_the docks... he's at the..." His face twisted in pain. "You son of a _bitch._ You ain't gonna get him..." The henchman brought a hidden dagger from his sleeve and stabbed Jason through his exposed forearm, where he had rolled his sleeves up.

That damn motherfucker _ass___

Oh hell, _screw it._

Jason snapped his neck in an instance, almost automatically. He wasn't even worth a bullet, that sadist, child rapist piece of crap.

He stood up and shoved the dagger off of his flesh, listened to the sharp sound it made as it fell on the ground, stared at the lifeless, former goon, watching him with dead, wide eyes.

Jason lost his shit, he killed the man. He didn't regret it, though. He needed to send a message to all the scums out there. The ruthless Red Hood was back, and he didn't plan on playing the goody two shoes vigilant around.

He had no morals. It was Nightwing who kept him at bay, and without him...

He honestly didn't even know what was left of him anymore.

_"Well, at first I wanted to have some fun."_

Jason pulled out his dual pistols, spun around and pointed the barrels in the air. But he couldn't find the owner of the voice.

_"So, I let you beat those men to shit. I admit, watching you Bats? It's fun!"_

He slowly walked forward. He had detected twelve bulletproof henchmen when he arrived, all armed. The outsider goons were all neutralized, and the indoors were taken down in a hand combat. How the fuck did he miss that one?

 _"But then I remembered... Bat clans don't use guns, or_ kill."

The voice sounded masked, male, demonic and awfully familiar. It must have been one of Gotham's freaks. So, Black Mask wasn't that stupid after all. He brought his big guns with him.

_"Hah. The Goddamn Red Hood! Christmas came early this year... You know, Mask really hates you. I wonder why..."_

Jason vision started to get dizzy. His head felt heavy. The reality started shaping before him. His heartbeat peaked in anticipation.

 _"He paid me great shit for being a backup plan. Well, he didn't have to know I had a_ personal _bone to pick with you."_

Jason immediately reached his utility belt.

Dammit. He knew he recognized that fucking voice from somewhere.

_"Don't bother for an antidote. It's a new fear toxin. It doesn't need to be breathed in. It can transfer through blood."_

He injected the ampule in his wounded forearm anyway. _Stupid. Reckless. How could he not fucking see that coming?_

 _"That's why I had all their weapons infected with the new toxin. Figured at least one of them would land a lucky hit."_ He rasped with a hint of snicker. _"Rumors says The Red Hood isn't at his A game these days."  
_

The third antidote fell uselessly on the ground. He gritted his teeth together and started shooting every Goddamn corner of that warehouse.

"Why don't you show your ass and find out yourself?" Jason growled.

 _"I'm a scientist. I like to test my theories. And my newest interest in surrounded in_ You."

He heard a shout. He turned around, but he found no one there. Just the empty warehouse, bodies laid on the ground, moonlight shining through the wide windows, SUV cars, and... nothing else.

 _"What do_ You _fear the most, Hood?"_

He heard another scream. This one was much closer and in pain.

He should have ignored it. His self-conscious told him it was merely a trick. His mind was playing with him. The antidotes were in vain. The fear toxin was fucking with him.

_"What's your greatest fear? What do you see now, I wonder."_

The shrill got louder. It was coming from outside the warehouse. He watched the door as his hands, pointing the guns, got lowered. His feet took him toward the source of the noise. What if it was actually a person in need?

_"Perhaps, you're seeing one of your victims?"_

He pushed the door open, and he was instantly greeted by a great heat. Red and orange flames painted the walls and the floor. The horrifying sound of fire, burning the flesh, cracking bones, killing the man it consumed, it...

He took his helmet off.

 _"Is it death?_ _Are you seeing death before you?"_

Jason's feet was glued to the ground. He stared in pure dread as the man before him was burned in fire. Still alive, screaming in utter agony and torment. Running like mad from the fire that wouldn't leave him, stumbling on the legs that couldn't hold him, hitting the walls to end the misery while in no vain, he still kept burning in the heating fire. Jason could smell it. Sense the fire blazing the man's skin apart. A scorching scent that burned his nose.

Was that... Was that how... Did he suffered the same__

_"Is it a childhood nightmare? Oh, I bet it's related to your family. Your closed ones?"_

The man cried like a maniac, ran around like crazy. Jason dived in without thinking. He wrestled the man down and rolled them on the ground till the fire died down. When he finally was able to see the guy's face, he could still recognize it through the burnt. He saw it clear now. He saw it crystal then.

_"Or... Is it someone you failed to rescue?"_

"DICK!!!"

He stared in wide shock at his lover, laid on the ground, gasping painfully through his drought and burnt throat. Jason's shaky hands reached to hold him, but then stopped midway. It'd only make it worse if he touched him.

Dick hair, that perfect beautiful hair, it was all burned. His whole skin was covered in blood, faint haze was coming through the meat. He... Looked around to grab s-something. _ANYTHING_ to help Dick, he... He didn't know what to do... He_

"J-Jay..."

"Baby. I'm here. I'm here, okay? I'm gonna__." He reached to hold his hands.

"D-Don't... To-uch me..." He rasped _painfully_ . _Why the hell was he talking?_

"Dick _."

"No... J-Just... Let me... Go..."

Oh, God. Please stop talking, please just _STOP._

"I'll get help. J-Just, hang in there. You're gonna be__."

Dick started to weep in short sudden burst, but no tears left his pretty eyes. _"No..._ I suffered enough... I suffered _You_ enough..."

Jason stared at his lover. Dick hated him, he blamed Jason for what happened to him. He wanted to _go_. He was tired of Jason, of his shits... He fucking _wanted_ that death.

"I... Want... Peace..."

His body stilled. Dick didn't move. He used his last breath to ask for peace. Something he never found with Jason, something he rather be _burned_ _alive_ to get. He died seeking that.

 _"You can join him."_ The demonic voice came again. _"By showing how much you truly love him."_

His eyes fell on the pistol in his hand. He... He couldn't let Dick die HATING him.

_"It's what he wants. It's the only way."_

'Shoot yourself and find peace. It's the only way. Shoot yourself and follow him. Don't let him die alone.'

 _No... He wouldn't say that. He wouldn't say that. He_ loves _me._

_"Shoot yourself and find peace."_

_No. He loves me. He wouldn't say that. He loves me._

_**NO.** _

His vision became clear. He found himself in the same familiar surrounding again. Outside the warehouse, in which he was going to bust Black Mask's goons, kneeling before nothing in particular. The cool wind brushed against his face and made him shiver slightly. He _just_ realized he was actually crying, and those were tears staining his face.

At some point, he had missed one of his guns, trying to wrestle with nothing. But the other was still being clutched in his grip. He was still shaking himself from _that_ scene. His biggest fear that actually came true. He had to face it again. He had to suffer the death of his beloved _one more time_. And once-fucking-again, he failed hopelessly to save Dick.

His greatest fear, his greatest loss, his worst Goddamn failure...

"How did you do that?" The voice demanded furiously.

Jason got up to his feet and very slowly turned to finally face that _freak._

Scarecrow.

That lunatic chemist, with his defaulted villainous voice, holding a hatchet in hands. Same old scarecrow mask over his head, and those wide frightening eyes picking out to glare at him. Jason could see how nervous he was as he tightened his grip on his, so called _weapon._

"How did you defeat t-the toxin? It's impossible!!!"

Silence. Jason just stared at him.

"You c-can't just STOP being afraid! You _become_ your fear!!!"

He aimed his gun toward the freak. How fast were his little fears? Were they faster than a bullet? Could they save him from Jason's wrath? Were they stronger than his strength?

He didn't think so.

_"Jason Todd of Earth. You have the ability to overcome great fear."_

A computer filtered voice said, and a green light started to shine behind him.

Well, shit.

He just prayed to every God out there that it wasn't what he thought it'd be. Not then, not there, not _ever._ No, no, _NO!_   He was NOT ready for that kind of shit at the moment.

Maybe if he just ignored it, it'd fly away to someone else. Find a more _willing_ person__. Just... Not then.

A bright green ring flew before him and wore itself on the middle finger of his left hand.

_"Welcome to the Green Lantern Corps."_

"The hell__."


	2. Chapter 2

Jason grabbed a fist around the small velvet box, made sure it stayed in his pocket.

He didn't want to lose his patient and risk popping the question all of a sudden. It was a proposal for life, it was a forever thing, it was the matter of them.

He wanted it to be especial, for the sake of Dick more than anything. He was going to ask the pretty-bird to tie the knots with him. He wanted forever, and he decided to share that forever with Dick.

It'd be a moment, _Their moment_ to celebrate for years. Because he chose Birdie to be his everything. His friend, his partner, his lover, his future husband. He was optimistic about the future, and he wanted Dick to be part of that future.

Forever.

It was a high risk, but Jason was willing to take it. He thought it through, he had years to rethink that a thousand times. He _wanted_ it, he wanted Dick, and he wanted them.

He wanted to go down on one knee before the most beautiful man in the world, bring the black box, containing a simple diamond ring, out. Look him in the bluest eyes on Earth, and say. "I don't know how many years I got left. But I as sure as hell know, I wanna spend the rest of that with you..."

Dick would give him a nervous smile, half expecting it to be a joke, but then he'd read the sincerely in Jason's eyes, and the smile would turn to a frown. Then Jason would open the box and show him the ring he bought, all by clean money and his own sweat. He couldn't dishonor their love from the beginning like that.

"If I die and be born again, you'll be the one I'd love. And I promise to keep loving you forever and a thousand times more... Will you marry me?"

Dick's pretty eyes would be filled with tears, because he was a sap like that. Jason's sentimental love. He wouldn't be able to say the words, he'd be busy keeping his mouth shut from screaming out loud. Instead, he'd nod a couple of times till he would get the courage to talk again.

" _Yes!_ Yes, yes. God, YES!!!"

Jason would suck in a relief breath and put the ring on his long, pretty finger. Dick and his pretty everything, really. All he could see, ever time he looked at each inch of that man, was beauty and perfection. Dick, that perfect human being... And he was now going to be Jason's and his only.

Their heartbeat would sink in the same madness together. They'd embrace each other, and seal their passion in a kiss. Putting their lips against one another lovingly.

It was a moment to savor for life. So, he didn't want to ruin it with rushing into it.

Dick merely received a message from his Titan fellows, requesting help. They knew he was on a date with Jason, so it must have been pretty important to have called away.

He knew Dick, the man couldn't leave anyone's back when they needed him, when they directly asked for assistance. He was going to leave as a backup plan one way or another. Jason couldn't spoil his mission by popping the question in the middle of that chaos.

It could wait.

He couldn't have Dick distracted by thinking over their marriage and mess the mission up, or worse , get hurt because of it. They needed Nightwing sharp and at his best state.

But the thought that Dick would get distracted by thinking over _him_... It made the butterflies in his stomach back-flip with what only could be described as excitement.

But it could wait.

He had more chance to fantasize about his proposal and the different things he wanted to say, the various reactions he was going to get. All those mind blowing scenarios which ended with a passionate kiss.

"I could, like, not go if you want. I could call Roy or__."

"Stop." Jason reached across the table and tangled their fingers together. "You should go. They don't need Roy, they called you. They need _you._ And I know you'd kill yourself if some shit went wrong and you weren't there."

Dick stared at their joined hands, and stroke his thumb over his lover's skin. "Yeah, but... It's, been a while since it was just the two of us... you know, alone, away from the hero community, and... On a date."

"Yeah, we should do that more often. Never thought I'd say this, but... It's nice."

Dick turned one of those charming smiles at him, and Jason's heart skipped a beat by the sight of that gorgeous man. "I know. That's why I don't wanna go. We may never get another chance like this."

Damn, didn't that man sound persuasive. It was making Jason's willpower loose.

"That'd also be nice too. If you stayed here. But then you wouldn't really be here. Your thoughts are gonna go to your friends, and that's not something I planned for our date." He smirked. "I want you at your full focus tonight."

Dick's smiled turned sharper to match Jason's smirk. He leaned closer to purr the words out. "Something especial on your mind, Jay? You sound tempting. Should I be waiting for a night of Fifty Shades of Grey, or something?"

He chuckled. He couldn't believe that man was for real. _His perfect dork._ He had no idea what was waiting for him once he returned.

"Why don't you finish quick and find out yourself?"

"I'll try my _hardest_ to lead." Pun intended and all.

He couldn't take it anymore.

He stood up and walked up to his pretty bird and pulled him up for a kiss. He didn't care if it was disturbing, or if people were staring, or whatever. They didn't get to have someone like Dick in their lives. They didn't get it. They didn't see how cute his lover looked when he tried to be funny like that. They didn't hear the beautiful laughter that followed afterward. They didn't know shit, to hell with the rest of the world.

He wanted to kiss the hell out of his lover, and he did just that. In the middle of the restaurant, and before all those people. Jason cradled his face and moved his lips against Dick's, like they had all the time of the world, and not till Dick's com-line started to buzz again.

They pulled back and kept each other's gaze. He couldn't wait till he made his proposal to Dick.

Marry me.

It sounded sweet to his own head. He couldn't wait to see what Dick would think about it either.

"Be careful out there, pretty-bird. I've got plans waiting."

His lover gave a sweet chuckle. "Wouldn't wish to miss it."

* * *

 

The sound of the clock's alarm filled his ears. He groaned and turned to sleep on his stomach. Let it turn off by itself.

But that damn buzz sound kept going, and going, and going, and UGH!!! It sounded annoying!

He groaned to his pillow. He was having such a good and deep sleep. It felt like forever since he slept that sound. He had no desire to end that tranquility anytime soon.

But that goddamn alarm, though. It was driving him _nuts._

"Dick..." He mumbled to his pillow.

The irritating sound kept on, and on, and on, and _GOD..._

 _"Dick,_ kill it off." He muttered again.

It was like he was talking to himself. The alarm kept ringing. _What the hell? Dick should've been up by now._

He grunted and blindly reached the nightstand with one hand to turn that mood-killer clock off, but it slipped from his hand and fell on the floor. He groaned loudly this time, and finally pushed up to cease that nerve wrecking sound.

What was wrong with Dick that day? Why did he put the alarm on Jason's side of the bed?

He turned on his back to cuddle his lover back to sleep, but...

He was frozen instantly.

Dick's side of the bed was... empty. On the other nightstand sat the picture of them, and...

Dick wasn't there anymore.

He sat up to lean against the headboard. Sleep already dea__ No, defeated, and he saw the reality for what it was.

It was all just a dream, a memory, a wish, a regret.

It was the first time he dreamed about Dick. It's been a long time. The man wouldn't even hunt his nightmares. It's been long. The last time he saw Dick, he was...

He stared at his empty space in the bed.

... He was dead.

He was seeing Dick's face after so long... It, it felt like forever.

Maybe it was true what they said. The more you thought about your loved ones, the more existed the possibility of seeing them in your sleep. He put his head between his hands.

Not after the night he faced his worse fear. Not after the night he saw Dick burning alive. Not being forced to wear a ring, which wasn't their wedding ring. Not after he killed...

He pushed away from the sheets and walked toward the bathroom. Took his boxers off, and stepped in the shower for a cold run. The chilly water helped to bring him out of that haze in his head. The coffee afterward made it even better, it helped with clearing his mind.

He couldn't stop thinking about it, though. About how Dick was like a chain in his life. He restrained Jason and kept him limited. It was a nice restriction, it kept him sane, it kept him _good_. Dick wasn't a controller, he was an admirable deed, a fitting influence. You couldn't be in the same room with him and not be absorbed toward his magnet, and not want to do good.

But then he died, and that chain was destroyed. The rapid dog was unleashed. Jason was back to his crazy days as the brutal Red Hood. He _killed_ a man last night. He couldn't remember the last time he visited his so called, family. And within all those shits, a green ring had to attach itself on him.

Ordeals rained on his head these days.

He's been trying to get rid of it ever since it came. To no vain, it didn't talk to him. He's seen Lanterns speak with their rings, but Jason's didn't give a single response.

He didn't want it. Go find someone else, he said to the ring, but he was only greeted by silence. He was supposed to be a space policeman for God's sake, shouldn't it have been at least a _choice?_   He didn't live through the dirt, he wasn't dead, he wasn't fucking trained that hard, to simply use a _RING._

He got dressed to head out. Where? He didn't even know himself. He just wanted to leave that house, get some fresh air, and maybe think about how to get rid of the ring, without Batman noticing. He had to find a way to use it in an open area, where it wouldn't blast half of his house in accident. Or perhaps, he could communicate with another Lantern.

Whatever. It was best to get the hell out of there with any excuses possible.

When he reached for his motorcycle's keys on the nightstand, he paused before their picture again. They took it at a carnival last year. They've been there the whole day till late night. Dick made him ride every ridicules thing was there to ride. They won all the shooting games, gave all their prizes to the kids around the fair. Ate junk foods and got sick over them. Made out like teenagers on top of the Ferris-wheel, and ended their night with the mind blowing ride of their own.

He took the frame to look at the photo. Dick was hugging him from behind, one hand was locked around Jason's neck, the other was holding the camera, smiling big and bright, he had that gorgeous face pressed against his lover's neck. He looked so... happy. They both looked overjoyed. He couldn't remember smiling that sincere and real in his life. Only Dick had been able to bring out that side of him.

The things he'd do to bring those days back. Just what would he do to have one more night with his pretty-bird.

His left hand started to glow in a green light. His emotions were doing something with the ring.

And that was all the cues he needed to put the picture back and leave. Not before pausing over the dark velvet box next to the picture, and hesitantly, reaching a hand to grab it with him. 


	3. Chapter 3

The drawing was almost over. There was only a little shading left, which didn't really need all that delicate concentration. There wasn't much darkness or edges to the picture of the man, Kyle was sketching.

Kyle would try his best, but there wasn't much shading required for Guy's picture. Everything regarding Guy Gardner was bright. From his strawberry red hair, to his unique green eyes and his pale skin color. But the said man had lots of sharpness in his overly manly features. He'd do his greatest for his best friend. But it was almost finished.

He pulled the thick paper back to examine his work. He was more focused on bringing the man's roughness to life. It almost looked exactly like its picture. The same harsh cheekbones, thin layer of hair with its sides shaved, beaten nose, the creases in his forehead. Guy Gardner of the drawing was giving him that sly grin of his.

But still, he wasn't satisfied with his work. There was just... something wrong with the sketch in his hands. It was Guy, but when he looked thoroughly... It really wasn't. His eyes for instance, they had the same shape and lines, but Kyle couldn't pull the same daring look just _right_. It wasn't as realistic as he wanted it to be.

He looked at the picture and then back at the one in his hand. He did try his best, though. It was the finest sketch he had drawn from the previous deceased Lanterns. It was his greatest work so far. Maybe from someone else's view, the pictures both looked the same. But to Kyle's eyes, they were quite distinct. He's seen the man in person, he saw the emotions shape in his green eyes, he felt them.

He knew he could never pull the right angel on the paper.

He was using his ring to construct the face of Guy Gardner from his memories, so he could draw his memorial.

That was the moment he cursed himself for not having enough pictures of Guy, for not drawing him more, for letting a sheer of imagination to be the only thing left of the former Lantern.

If Kyle had foreseen the day might come, where he had to draw any of his friends for the sake of keeping their memory intact, he never would've learned how to sketch. The day he showed his plans to Soranik that he was going to savor the honor of the previous deceased Lanterns by drawing them and preserving their memory, he listened to his heart, and his heart told him it was the right thing to do.

But he was starting to spite that decision the moment he put his pen on the paper.

He was a Green Lantern, wielder of willpower. He could overcome his demons and move forward. That was how he was able to continue the drawing.

... But, nobody said it was going to be easy.

When he first joined the corps, he was fully aware of the risk he accepted, of the danger that threatened his life. All the Green Lanterns did. One day they were fine and alive, the next thing they knew, they might have died on a mission. They accepted the turns and bought the consequences.

But still, in a million years, he couldn't even imagine the day would come that one of his friends... would get killed. Especially, not _him._ Not Guy. Gardner was the toughest of them all. It would've taken much more than _luck_ to take him down.

In happened on a rescue mission. They had to save the kidnapped Guardians from the Controllers. It was the four of them. John, Hal, Guy and him. He suggested sending distress signal for backup, but Guy, that stubborn thick-headed asshole, just _had_ to insist they could do it together.

 _"There's_ four _legs_ _on a table._ Four _walls_ _on a house. And_ four _seats in a mustang GT."_ Showing four fingers while giving each of them a determined look. _"We're the four Corpsmen. You don't_ screw _with what_ works _."_

Was it bad luck or fate, Kyle didn't know. But whatever it was, it took away Guy's life.

How could the man forget to charge his ring?

How could he use every last ounce of that bit to create a shield for his friends? How could he possibly be that stupid?

Didn't he think for a _second_ that maybe that was _it,_ there was no way living through this one?

Didn't he think about what his friends were going to suffer because of his cockiness?

About what _Kyle_ had to bear to forget him...

He knew it was normal to feel that reserved, lonely and depressed. It all came with the grief of one of your closed ones. But... God, that _sadness_ , that emptiness in his chest. Would it ever fade away? How long was it going to last?

He needed to be at his sharpest condition. The universe wouldn't wait for him to mourn his loss.

He was no stranger to grieve. Alex, Donna, Jade, his mom, the fellow Lanterns. He's been through them all, but somehow, this time, it felt _different._ It felt much deeper. Perhaps it wasn't even that big, and he was making it a major thing for himself. But....

Guy Gardner was his friend, his partner, his drink buddy. They opened a goddamn space bar together!

Guy, the man who used to annoyingly stand up for Kyle all the times. The man who knew how to have fun, and had the best poker-face, who had the roughest voice, like the hoarseness of a dry throat in the early morning, who designed a _So badass- jacket over his costume, but wore a Hawaii shirt underneath it. The man who's been punched by Arkillo, the worst, meanest Yellow Lantern, but still stood up to hit right back with his bare fists.

The Guy who followed his leader through hell. Who made the first step into uniting the Yellow and Green Lanterns, the sworn enemies, together. A man who wouldn't think twice to fly for the rescue of his friends, who acted all tough and spooky, but deep inside, was the deed of goodness.

The Guy who was dead now...

He died doing the right thing, fighting for the right cause...

His hand unconsciously went to his chest, where Soranik had branded him with her Lantern's energy blast. He seemed to do that every time he was displeased or frustrated.

_"Ring Status report. Green Lantern 2814-2 replaced."_

His ring brought his out of his thoughts. "What?"

_"Ring status report. Green Lantern 2814-2 replaced."_

Oh... He remembered now. He had programmed his ring to notify him when Guy's ring found a replacement. Deep inside, he was actually reluctant to do that. He wasn't sure if he was ready to face Guy's replacement, or if he _wanted_ to know if he had one.

But that was what made Kyle different from the other Lanterns. He wasn't just fearless. He knew fear, he _faced_ fear, and overcame it. That was what made him a Green Lantern in the first place.

"Where is it?"

_"Sector 2814. Earth."_

Oh well. He guessed it was it a good thing that person was chosen from their own people. That was probably what Guy would've wanted. For his replacement to be a human.

It was time to give a visit to home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All kudos and comments are appreciated dearly :)


	4. Chapter 4

He shoved his hands in his pockets, where the small box was being held, safe and secure in his jacket. He was almost outside Gotham, close to the Wayne manor, where he used to case it as a kid. Stared at the all too familiar scene of the city before him.

It was the day time, and the city was quiet. Gotham was only alive at nights. So, no spotlight, any bright green light, nor a destructive sound could get Gotham's attention. At least, not in that distance.

He toyed with the ring on his finger. It wasn't even on the accurate hand. Jason was right handed, _you stupid ring._

But currently, that wasn't of his problem. The elephant of the situation was the words, which were spread all over the news earlier that morning.

 _"Last night, Gotham's ruthless vigilant,_ _also known as_ ' _T_ _he Red Hood'_ , _was reported to initiate a bust on an illegal weapon shipment, and the arrest of the super-villain 'Scarecrow'. Further investigation revealed of a murder on the crime scene. The victim, Marlin Powers, was reported to be an incorporator under Roman Sionis' name. Seeming as The Red Hood's previous attempt at the assassination of the mayor, and his public conflict with Batman, suspicious are highly surrounded around the vigilant in Hood."_

Bruce was going to be on his tail the moment he heard the news.

Maybe he shouldn't have lost his shit like that. Maybe he shouldn't have gone out when he wasn't on his right mind. Perhaps, he should've remembered his boundaries. He had a history of crossing the lines after all. But then again...

Who would've thought Dick Grayson would burn alive in an explosion? Who would've imagined that Jason would love that man so much? Who would've guessed that one day, he'd go back to his old days?

Well, maybe Bruce did.

 _"My city, my rules. If I think for an instant you're in too deep... I'm pulling you out. If you take_ one _life, for whatever reason...I'm coming for you."_

Fair warning to be honest. But they said 'There's no straight line in life. It's all a big circle. Everything comes back to you'. Well, there he was again. A criminal once more. He just reserved a room for himself in the Black Gate for killing that man.

But did he regret it?

Hell no.

And he wasn't the same arrogant Jason Todd anymore. He was more experienced, and fearless. He wouldn't hide in the underground anymore. When Batman came hunting him down, he'd just construct a giant green middle finger, and rub it on his righteous face.

_"Fuck you, Bruce."_

But speaking of which...

He needed to learn a way to activate the ring first.

He had seen other Lanterns talk to their rings, but his hadn't spoken a word since it welcomed him to the Green crap thing. It hadn't even given him a costume.

If it wasn't glued to his finger, he'd think it made a mistake for choosing him. But to no vain, it wouldn't come off either.

He was stuck there as a wanted villain, with a useless ring on his finger.

_The most powerful weapon in the universe my ass._

He brought his left hand out to examine his ring. Maybe he should have... like, called for it? Asked it to do something?

"Um..." He frowned at his fisted hand. "Turn on?"

Nothing happened.

"I uh... I will you to... glow?" That was stupid. He never saw a Green Lantern talk to their ring like that.

Maybe he should have tried being a little more determined, with a more commanding voice. "Make something. Uh... build a bike."

God, he sounded moronic saying those words out loud. But still, nothing happened.

He threw his hands in the air. "Why aren't you fucking working?"

The ring glowed a bit. _"Power lock."_

"What the hell does that mean?"

 _"The oath of the Green Lantern Corps require."_   Its robotic voice said.

"Oh, yeah? How the heck should I know that?"

Silence greeted him.

For fuck's sake, he should've just contacted one of the other Green Lanterns. How many Lanterns did Earth have? Six, or seven? Surely one of them would help him without giving words to Batman__.

"NO, _way!"  
_

He spun around on his heels toward the source of the voice, which wasn't from his ring. It belonged to a human. He sighed and thanked whatever wish star was out there...

It was a Green Lantern.

He floated above Jason at a convenient distance, with his right fist glowing a bright green. He seemed new. His costume was all black, except on his torso, which was covered in white. Green fingerless gloves, green boots, metallic kneepads, and also a green mask that hided most of his face. The guy had a modified and fresh uniform. It wasn't the usual spandex black and green suits Jason witnessed on the former Lanterns. He must have been pretty new.

"Out of _all_ the people of this planet, it had to be _you._ " The Lantern said in frustration.

"Chill, man. It wasn't like I asked for it."

"It just _had_ to be a Bat. Of course it had to be a _Bat_. Who else but them?" The Lantern kept muttering with himself.

But something caught his interest. The man knew Jason was a Bat. That was pretty strange, because it was day time and he wasn't wearing his Red Hood costume...

"Do I know you?"

For some nonsense reasons, his heart kept beating rapidly in his chest. The familiar adrenaline and anticipation ran through his blood.

Who was this new guy, who seemed to know the Bat's identity already?

The guy ran a hand through his dark hair, and murmured something under his lips. Jason just kept giving him an intense stare, hoping to unease the man into talking.

"Seriously...?"

He just gave the man a dead stare.

"Jay, come on! You... it's _Kyle!"_

The fu__ wait. Kyle as in... Kyle Rayner? Jason gave the man another thorough look. Yep, now he saw it. It definitely _was_ him.

"I can't believe you didn't recognize me."

Jason couldn't believe it himself either. Because, geez, the amount of costume change that man had, was unbelievable! He knew there was only one Green Lantern with such perfect hair like his.

That asshole.

"Then lower your expectation. How the fuck should I know who you are when you play dress up like that. Last time I checked, you were flying around in white."

"Yeah, but...HEY! How did you know that? I didn't stay that long on Earth!"

"Batman's got eyes on every goddamn corner of this planet. Who do _you_ think stands before you?" He gestured toward himself.

Kyle was far, wearing a big mask, and there was no way of telling if he rolled his eyes. But he definitely did, right? Jason felt like he did. Hell, the situation called for an eye-roll. He totally did it.

"Does he know?" Kyle asked.

About the ring?

"Did _your_ mom know?"

Kyle's ring shone a brighter shade, from his tight set of jaw, it was clear he was gritting his teeth. He was trying to keep his composure in check. That was probably the best thing to do. Jason wasn't exactly in a festive mood, and he damn right didn't need a _ring_ to take a Green Lantern down.

But fortunately, Kyle decided to change the topic. "Looks like you're not getting along with your ring."

"It wouldn't fucking _get off._ "

Why was he that angry? Why was he putting it out on Rayner? What the hell was his problem? Recently, his temper seemed to get off out of his control more often. And for no good reason.

Kyle was there to help him with the ring. Wasn't that what he wanted? For a Lantern to show up and teach him the ropes?

God dammit, Jason.

"Well, you could get rid of it if you want. I know how complicated the vigilant's lives are."

That... also was a good solution.

"I understand if you don't want the ring."

Jason bit his lip. He sure as hell didn't want to be chosen as a Lantern at first. But then... Bruce... The guy he killed...

If he wouldn't be a Green Lantern, then he'd turn into Gotham's most wanted criminal. Batman wouldn't sit till he had Jason locked up behind those bars of justice. He made a promise, and when Batman said something, you better fucking _believe_ it was a 'Done job'.

He wasn't afraid of the Bat. He just wasn't looking for trouble, or going back to the dark old days between them.

"If the ring's not wearing off, we should go to Oa. The Guardians can pull it off." Kyle's voice brought him out of his thoughts.

Oa? It must have been their headquarter or something. He didn't want to leave Gotham, but then his ring wouldn't work. And maybe there was someone there, who could help him wake his ring up. Who knew, maybe they even took away his ring, but either way, the so called weapon, was useless on his finger.

He had to travel through space one way or another. What was the point of a vain power ring? It either had to be taken off, or started working.

"Alright, Rayner... but there's only one problem."

Kyle titled his head to aside.

"I can't fucking fly this thing!"

Kyle brought his bright fist close to his face, green lights were reflecting on his face as he smirked and said. "Leave that part to me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it. If you did, let me know what you think and make me happy too. :)


	5. Chapter 5

Kyle was a bit distress about meeting the person who was going to wield Guy's ring. A part of him didn't want to face the replacement yet.

He knew it had to happen one way or another, though. That was how it worked, it was unavoidable. There nothing he could do about it. He kept convincing himself to be more sensible. He was a Green Lantern after all. Life went on, and he had to move forward.

But wasn't sure how exactly he'd react, or feel about seeing someone else wearing Guy's ring. As Gardner's partner, and as a friend, Kyle made it his duty to guide his replacement path into the corps. But when he actually confronted the man wielding the ring, he knew something for sure.

He didn't want that ring on Jason's fingers.

 _This can't be happening_.  NO, no, no.  _Not_ like this.

Not _him!!!_

Jason Todd, AKA Red Hood, Batman's second son, the dead Robin, that moody dark vigilant with a a temper of a ticking bomb.

And now, he was wearing a Green Lantern ring, _Guy's ring_ , and he was supposed to be one of the honor guard's replacement...

Kyle knew he was going to have difficulties facing the cruel reality again, that he _lost_ his friend. He kind of didn't know how he'd feel about actually seeing it in person. But one thing he knew for certain, was the fact that he _definitely_ didn't want that ring on Jason's finger.

It was _Guy's ring._ HIS. Out of _all_ the people it could choose, it went straight to the vigilant.

He sneaked a peek at the man, who was consumed by a thin layer of green light surrounding him, so they could travel with the same speed in the space. Jason was scowling generally at nothing, had his lips quirked down to form a frown, his hands were pushed inside his pockets, probably holding a fist. In overall, he looked uneased and ready to punch the first thing that he could get his hands on.

Kyle wanted to snore a laugh and shake his head. Guy's ring certainly had a _type_.

But he needed to put all of his concentration on arriving to Oa as fast as possible. It'd only take a few minutes now that he was carrying Jason, but still... He couldn't _wait_ to take the man's ring off right away.

It was moments like that that he wished he still had his white ring. He could really use the Indigo right then to teleport to Mogo.

That was what Jason wanted, right? He wanted to get rid of it as soon as possible. He had detective, vigilant stuff to take care of, he couldn't be busy with intergalactic police force duties.

Right... That was probably the single _best_ thing that happened since Guy's ring took off.

He could see Mogo getting closer by any second. Mogo was a living planet, who was a member of the Green Lantern Corps. The central battery, the home of the universe's policemen, the headquarter of the Guardian of the universe, they were all on Mogo. A gigantic Green Lantern belt covered its round shape. Mogo was the heart of their Corps.

_"Arrival at destination in four..."_

They entered the atmosphere. Green blurs were fading to reveal more of the planet.

_"Three..."_

The buildings were now visible.

_"Two..."_

He slowed his pace to get prepared for landing.

_"One..."_

He stood on his feet on the ground. _"Destination reached."_

He willed the hollow around Jason off. But that seemed to be a mistake, because as soon as they were secure on their feet, Jason started to hurl his stomach up.

Kyle turned away from the scene, but built a green bucket for Jason to empty his vomit in. It was common among the Lanterns to throw up after their first flight. They were traveling by the speed of light, duh. But, Jesus, they usually ended up puking out there in the space, _not_ in a _construct_. Ugh. Why the _hell_ did he do that?

Jason better appreciate that sacrifice, or else....

Well... Kyle was going to throw the bucket over his head...eww... It felt freaking _WARM._

When he was done, Jason finally brought his head up to breathe. He took in his surrounding with that same uneased scowl.

"Where the fuck are we?"

 _"Sector zero. The sentient planet Mogo."_ His ring answered.

"Oh! You talk _now_ _?"_ Jason groused to his fist. His frustration all too familiar....

Well, it wasn't going to last for long.

"C'mon, Jay. Let's go to the Guardians."

The man turned his pissed off look toward him, and kept that unraveling stare up.

Seriously, what the hell was this guy's problem with him?

"What?" He asked.

Jason clicked his tongue and gave him that, Bat suspicious narrowed eyes that read through your mind, stare. Jeez, what was it with the Bats and being threateningly dramatic like that?

"You seem in a hurry." The vigilant finally said as he took a step forward. 

"Well, I can't exactly show you around the place while I'm holding a _bucket_ of your _vomit_. Yeah, you're welcome by the way."

"Straight to the point, huh? One might think you're trying to get me out of your hair. Something on your mind, Rayner?"

Well, Jason was quick to shake his nausea off. Kyle gave him credit for _that._ But his skeptical features, never in a million years.

"I'm trying to help you with your problem. You said it yourself, the ring won't come off."

"Well, I don't know about that. It's starting to grow on me. Maybe I'll even keep it."

Kyle's breath was stuck in his chest. His heartbeat quickened.

How could he do that? He _just_ said he wanted to get rid of the ring back on Earth. Just a few _minutes_ ago! Now he was recoiling__.

It was Guy's ring, he wouldn't want a criminal to wear his legacy. He deserved better than that.

Jason, that sneaky _'Batman taught me everything he knew'_ brat. He thought he was such a perfect man, looked down his nose at them, played the detective around. He wasn't going to last a _week_ in Oa.

"Go ahead. Who's stopping you?" Kyle dared him.

The vigilant stared at him for a minute. "Fuck you, Rayner."

He smiled. Right, because Jason couldn't use his ring.

"Alright. I'm gonna empty that bucket somewhere and I'll ta__."

But before he even got to finish, Jason had turned his back on him and was walking away.

"Actually, the Guardians are _that_ way." He pointed to his right. But that only received a middle finger from Jason, without even turning to give him a look.

Guy's ring surely knew its type.


	6. Chapter 6

Turned out, the almighty Guardians of the universe, were a bunch of old, blue dwarfs with big heads, and white hair.

They weren't all that scary, like, _at all_. They looked more like those Sci-Fi characters in cartoons, only older and broodier. They were wearing those long, loose, red and white robes, which cloaked their whole bodies. Jason could pick up one or two females, he wasn't sure, because one of them was bald, so. And then there was the rest of the four males, some with long hairs, some with beards. But one thing they all had in common, except being blue and short, was that they all had these expressions on their faces, like _'It's before my first coffee in the morning, bitch.'_ Or _'SIGH. How the hell did I end up with these idiots?'  
_

He wasn't trying to reduce his frustration by using the technique of imagining them in their underwear or something. To Jason's amusement, those dwarfs really looked bitchy and gruff.

He couldn't believe they were the _boss_ of a corp. Did anyone even take them for serious? How could the Lanterns stop themselves from not laughing when they said something like _'We shall expurgate universe's enemies with our light, our dear Lanterns.'_

It didn't take him for a surprise when he realized, he'd be the only one laughing. Looking over the other space cops in the room, all were on their feet instead of floating, legs parted a bit to strengthen their stand, ready for battle, and seemingly respectful toward the orders and commands from the blue dwarfs, Jason had a feeling he wouldn't fit in there well.

Maybe it was merely a matter of getting used to a higher authority. _For them,_ of course. Jason? He was the rebel that even death couldn't outrun. What chance did a bunch of aliens, wearing green spandex have?

He did recognize a few familiar faces, though. Standing next to the Guardians was John Steward. Besides him was Earth's famous Green Lantern, Hal Jordan. Then a giant, pink, muscular alien, with a face much like a pig and a tusker. A girl with red skin, and a green band, which tied her long black hair up. A fire thing, a gorilla, a pink spider with four arms, and a blond elf chick with cute pixie hair, who looked almost human except for her pointy ears. And then there was Kyle Rayner.

Even as a Green Lantern, when he was blended with the rest of his pals, he stood out different. The coloration of all the Lanterns was almost the same. Black and green tight-fitting costumes. But Kyle's was original.

Artist, right?

"Ring, report." One of the Guardians ordered.

His ring glowed and did as it was told. _"Ring status report. Green Lantern 2814-2 deceased. Priority directive located. Sector 2814. Jason Todd of Earth. Sentient replacement found."_

That fucker. _NOW you talk when you see your fellow teammates? Or did you just have a problem with_ me?

He brought his head up to look at the rest of the room. He felt like he heard everyone gasp or something. _What?_ Did he have something on his face? He didn't exactly get what the ring meant. Was it a code language? He bet it said something along _'Jason Todd, the criminal, blah, blah, blah, arrest him, he's the replacement, and shit, shit, shit.'_

Well, it most certainly was something just as bad, because now he was the center of the attention in the room, with some aliens eyeing him up with criticized looks.

It did _not_ help the misplaced, unease panic mode that was slowly building inside him.

It was one of the Guardians, who broke the silent. "The former owner of the ring, was also of your planet. And I see the ring had not failed to choose its right replacement."

Replacement? Didn't they just send off rings to find the suitable Lantern? What was their deal with that word? The ring said the. . . hold on. But it meant. . . Oh, God.

"So, you mean to tell me a Green Lantern is _dead?"_

A Lantern was dead and his ring was now sitting on Jason's finger. His replacement.

The Guardians looked unfazed, but the cops remained awkwardly as silent soldiers. John's ring shone a bit. The pink tusker balled his hand into a fist, others avoided directly looking at him. And Kyle, he just. . . stared at him. They were holding themselves pretty good everything considered. They lost a member after all. That deceased Lantern must have been a great one.

"Unfortunately, yes." The bald Guardian with a beard said. "His death casts a shadow over our hearts. Guy Gardner was among the honor guards."

Wait. . . Guy Gardner, as in, the tough red haired one. . . ?

Well, shit. . . that sucked. It explained their pissed off reaction at his mention. That man was just. . . something else. Jason didn't know him in person, but. . . he still felt it in the atmosphere, that how sorrowful his dead was.

"He has served admirably." The female Guardian with long hair continued. "If it was not for his sacrifice, the Guardians of the universe would have been no more."

"His heroic renunciation would not be forgotten. We have recorded his name in the 'Book of Oa' as one of the most fearless Lanterns to ever serve."

"You are carrying a legacy, man of Earth. I hope you can reclaim his reputation as the bravest Green Lantern in the universe."

WHAT?

"It. . . I don't. . . "

A Green Lantern was dead and. . . he was supposed to replace him? An honor guard? _Guy Gardner?_

A chill went down his spine, made the hairs in the back of his head to stand out. That place gave him goosebumps. It was cold, and everyone just sent him a rotten vibe. Jeez, he felt like he was in one of those movies, where they put a poor human being in the middle of the room to sacrifice for a demon. Guess who the lucky victim was?

 _It's not working_. He wanted to say. _The ring, it won't listen to me. It made a mistake, it chose the wrong guy. . ._

Shit, there came the panic. But Jason would be damned if he let it be shown on his face.

"What if I don't want it?" He asked forcefully.

"We do not wish for you to relinquish your ring. But neither can we _force_ you to wear it." The bald lady answered.

_Damn right you can't._

"But the ring has chosen you for a reason. And we trust its judgment as it had proven us numerous times over of its accuracy."

"Being a Green Lantern is a heavy responsibility you cannot shrink from. You will have to devote yourself into putting the lives of__."

"But he doesn't want it, Ganthet." The Guardian was cut off by the one and only, Kyle Rayner. Now all the eyes were on him, but he seemed to ignore them for his part.

The Guardian, Ganthet, now directed his hoarse voice toward the man. "Lantern, Rayner. You are fully aware that we are understaffed, and there are more threats across the universe than could possibly be counted."

"But Ganthet__."

"If he wishes to reconcile, then we will accept regretfully. But we need his assistance. Especially after the loss of one of our greatest cops."

"Well, Jason said it himself__."

Jason cut him short abruptly. "I'm fucking _standing here_ , Rayner. Do us all a favor and _shut up_ , and let ME do the talking."

He was immediately met with a line of angry Lanterns, bringing their glowing fists up, and glaring daggers at him. Oh, so Kyle had some hard-core fans out in the space too.

"You watch your tongue, punk. You don't wanna lose it." The pink tusker growled in a low animalistic, but also a deep humanly rough tone.

"I like to see you _try_ , pinky." Jason replied cockily.

The guy looked the same size as Killer Croc. Jason had taken _him_ down, and Waylon had sharper teeth and claws. This pink tusker was Child's play before the creature, who lived in the sewerage.

The tusker growled louder and floated to attack. Jason took his stance and__.

"Kilowog, ENOUGH!"

It was John Steward who made a big green hand between Jason and the pink tusker. Which was a shame, really. It has been a shitty day, he could use a little morning practice.

John turned his furious glare at him. "We're an intergalactic police force, and this is the Green Lantern Corps. You're welcome to join us, but we _won't_ tolerate a duress. So, make your mind up carefully. Are you with us, or should we send you back home?"

He opened his mouth to speak, but then Hal's communication device started ringing, and made him swallow his words.

He damn well knew that ring. It was the Justice League emergency call. God knew how many times Batman had ignored those rings.

Hal answered the call. "Bruce, it better be important. I'm a bit busy right now. . . " He flew away from the room.

It was the goddamn Batman. Even in years of light away, he couldn't get far from Bruce. He must have found out about what he did then, and he was probably chasing the _'Mysterious green light, which appeared in Gotham the night of the murder' ._

His eyes caught the sight of John, still looking down at him and waiting for an answer. He must have been the top boss there. Jason didn't know, he just. . . guessed it. John held an authority and a turn of diplomacy over the other Lanterns.

 _I don't have a home back there._ He wanted to say.

He was the guy, who could do the things Batman couldn't. . . become someone that Batman wouldn't. Was he the man Batman wanted him to become? Not even close.

Jason looked at the ring in his finger. It irritated him, because it was on the fucking _wrong_ hand. But that was exactly _him_. Jason, on the _wrong_ side of the world.

That was what Dick would have wanted for him, wasn't it? For Jason to be a hero. That was all he asked. . .

 _Am I a hero? Am I a villain?_ That was what he kept asking himself.

Well, someday soon, Bruce would realize that he was _exactly_ who he wanted.

_'I'm gonna prove it to him, baby.'_

He looked directly to the bright green eyes of John. "I mean, I would've become a Lantern. Problem is, my ring won't work. Think it bumped to a rock on its way to me."

Of course nobody would laugh. He didn't expect them to.

"That would be of no complication." Ganthet said. "Seeing as you are much of a trouble with not the greatest impression, we assign Lantern Rayner as your mentor. Torchbearer will teach you how to utilize your ring properly."

Kyle didn't seem to object to the order, but he didn't agree to it either.

Not even the first day, and he had already made himself new enemies. Well, nobody ever accused him of being the smartest Robin.

He held a fist around the small box inside his pocket. That was what Dick would have wanted. And if it meant he had to stick his head right into the lion's head?

Well. . . Jason didn't become an outlaw for no reason.


	7. Chapter 7

_". . . I even assigned the Bird's of Prey for a search patrol all over the state. But we couldn't find any hint of him anywhere, Bruce. It's like. . . He's_ vanished."

He pulled his cowl off, let it rest on his back as he sat on the big armchair. "Thank you, Barbara. I'll take it from here." He ended the link call to the Bat-computer.

He was expecting that call, he wasn't disappointed when she turned him down. He had been hearing the same report all day. Batwoman in Bludhaven. Red Robin and Spoiler in DC. All the Bat allies in Gotham. His own observation from the Watchtower satellites. All the quests had the same conclusion.

There was no trace of the Red Hood.

Not until then.

All those in vain troubles could have been avoided if Batman just paid a visit to Dr. Johnathan Crane earlier. Scarecrow had witnessed the crime scene before he was arrested along with the rest of the scums. He might have known a clue to where Jason could've headed off.

So, he went by Arkham Asylum to make sure of his assumptions. The interrogation had revealed some interesting information.

"He _killed_ that man! Marlin, he was. . . he was Black Mask's middleman." Crane faltered.

Yes, Jason snapped his neck. He had examined the body before. _What else?_

"He was different that night. The Red Hood. I've met the guy before, he's got a reputation within underworld criminals, I. . . that night, he. . . there was something different about him. It wasn't _him._ He beat the shit out of Sions' men. Honestly, I wasn't aware he actually killed only _one_ of them. I thought he finished all of them off.

"He's gone _nuts_. He's never been that aggressive before. He even managed to escape one of my fear toxins. That's fucking _insane!_ There's no antidote for _that_ poison. Somebody's gotta put a leash that bo__WHOA!!!"

Bruce pulled him up from his shirt, slammed his back to the wall, and snarled to his boney face. "What the hell did you do to him?"

"I didn't do anything! I swear! I. . . look, it wasn't _me._ It was the green light, yeah i-it came from the sky, it. . . said some shits and. . . that's it. He knocked me out, and then I woke up in this cell. I don't know what happened to him. I swear, that's all I know."

He wasn't lying. Gotham news broadcasted over a strange green light crossing the streets of that city. It was hard to miss something that bright in the darkness of Gotham.

But a bright green light coming from the sky, going straight to The Red Hood at his vulnerable state, and then the said vigilant would disappear from the face of the planet?

He was pretty sure he found Jason.

Jessica and Simon were detected in England, battling a conflict. But they were Earth's guardians. Jason was out in the space. He needed to get a hold on some old friends.

"Computer, contact Green Lantern Hal Jordan. Priority, League emergency."

A few seconds later, Hal's voice arrived via the coms. _"Bruce."_

And all those speeches about code names on com-lines and communicators, were officially thrown away to trashcan. And of course, who else but the rebellious Jordan to ignore it all.

 _"It better be important. I'm a bit busy right now."_ Hal's impatient voice brought him to the matter at hand.

"There's a new Lantern in your Corps."

_"No shit. What do you want?"_

He leaned closer on his chair, put his elbows on the table before him. "I want to know who that person is."

He heard a sigh behind the line. _"Yeah, because God forbid Batman wouldn't know everything. Well, newsflash, it's none of your_ damn business."

"That person was chosen from _my_ city. I make it my _business_ to know Gotham's future guardian."

 _"You'll meet him when he's_ ready."

"So, it's a HE."

_"Bruce, what the hell's your problem? I barely see him for a few minutes, and you're on my hair to give you information. Because the Godforsaken Batman, thinks he can control everything__."_

"Whose ring was that?"

Silence filled the coms. There was only the sound of Hal's breath coming through the lines. He knew what Bruce meant by that.

Who died?

_". . . The name, Guy Gardner, rings a bell to you?"_

"Gardner was the second Green Lantern from Earth. He served as an honor member of the Justice League for a short period." Bruce put the minimum information he had of the, apparently, former Lantern.

 _"You got it."_ Hal bitterly said.

Guy Gardner was, perhaps the _toughest_ cop, as they liked to call themselves, among them. But despite the harshness his spirit claimed for him, he was quite respectful toward the great heroes and his teammates. He fooled around with his friends, but was always down right serious when it came to work.

He was a good man.

"I'm sorry."

Silence breathing surrounded them again.

"I'm looking for a man." He broke the quiet. "And I have strict reasons that he is the one chosen by Guy's ring."

 _"Well, maybe you should stop looking then. Because he's going to be a_ Green Lantern. _Hear that?_ A Lantern."

"That man is a wanted criminal__."

 _"I don't care whoever the hell he is there. We're not in your damn city, Bruce. Here, we train_ heroes _. He's either going to do something good out there, or be locked up here. Justice's gonna be served anyway."_

"You don't understand the situation, Jordan. He needs to be__." 

_"Alright, you know what? Fuck you, Bruce. This isn't a League emergency. I don't want to__."_

"He's my__."

_"__Hear any of your shit."_

"__Son."

The line went silent. Bruce felt the urge to punch a wall till his knuckles were bruised.

Jordan and his conceited Lantern thing.

It was okay, though. There were other ways.

"Computer. Send the exact location of Jessica Cruz and Simon Baz to the Batwing."

_"Data transferred."_

"Master, Bruce. Perhaps it is for the benefit of both parties if you leave the matters be as they are."

He put his cowl back on and walked up to his jet. "Alfred, Jason murdered a man. He's been in that path before, and he wasn't a good man then. He can't go back to that zone again."

"But I believe Lantern Hal may have been right on some references. Green Lantern Corps is a facility to train the policemen of the universe. Surely one bad deed wouldn't hinder that. . . considering the horrible incident we were all forced to got through."

That made him stop his trek. Alfred paused on the behalf of him too. Bruce slowly turned his head around to look him in the eyes.

His butler, his guardian, the man who raised him. He had to remind himself who he was standing before.

"Taking a life, no matter how justified, will lead you to a dark path you couldn't possibly imagine. Doesn't that sound familiar, Alfred?"

The said man greeted him with silent treatment. But he should have known better, he was the one who said those words to Bruce.

"Jason made a vow. He promised to never kill. We've seen firsthand where that path dragged him to. I can't let that happen again. . . "

He wasn't going to lose his son. . . or another one. . . 

Again. . . 

"I can't let him think he can commit a crime like _that_ , and get away with it."

And with that being said, he jumped on his plane, turned the engine on, but before the door could close on, Alfred said the final words.

"I hope you don't do something you'd regret later, master Bruce." His hands were folded behind his back, head rose a bit, and there was a death look in his grey eyes.

The door came down to start off the jet, and all the noises of the engine were ceased. He sucked in a breath in the quietness of the plane, and murmured his thoughts out. 

"I already do."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, all the thoughts are appreciated :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all the lovely comments. This story is almost finished, now. Every single thought was, and still IS appreciated.  
> Enjoy.

That was what Guy would've wanted, wasn't it? He'd want his replacement to be trained by the best of the bests. To carry his name with pride. To bring honor to his legacy.

And Kyle was one of the bests, right? That was what Guy used to think about him.

Killing an honor guard wasn't easy, but replacing him was even a harder task. He'd know, he was once the sole Green Lantern in the whole universe. Hal would know, he filled in Abin Sur's place. And Guy. . .

He was everyone's backup plan. Abin's, Hal's, Kyle's. He deserved better. Kyle was determined to make sure justice was served for him. He'd train Jason to be worthy of the ring, which chose him.

He would try, but if he was honest with himself, a deep insecure part of him was doubtful about that whole mentoring thing. He wasn't sure if he could pull it just _right._ The man had the freaking _Batman_ as a tutor. In what way could he possibly hope to tame Jason?

He sighed for the hundred times that night. He wished Guy was here, he was really good at those shits.

 _"Is that ring for decoration, you losers?_ Use _it, or else, it's gonna use_ you." Guy would shout at the newbies

Kyle would argue. _"Don't you think you're being too harsh on them?"_

Guy's dark eyebrows would wag up playfully, a small smirk would tug at the corner of his lips. _"They're good. They're going to make it. All they need is a little_ push _, and_ BAM _. You got yourself a Green Lantern."_

Guy was inspiring and a buzz-killer at the same time. That was Guy Gardner for you.

Kyle really could use his help. Because it wasn't any ordinary, enthusiastic, easy to deal with, alien. It was _Jason Todd_. The man who wasn't known for his eagerness to comply, or listening. And if he already didn't get the short end of the stick, he had to be Kyle Rayner. The guy he absolutely _hated._

He knew there was a long day awaiting him the next morning, because Jesus, he could already feel the headache growing. He might have as well had a nice rest.

There were lots of departments built on Mogo. All tall skyscrapers, with garbled physics, some cylindrical, some convoluted shapes, like a large tree. Each held a room for a Lantern to inhabit in. Kyle's and the human races were settled in the main headquarter. Jason was probably in one of those rooms. He didn't try to care as he flew to his own place. Third floor, second room before the end, right next to. . .

He paused at his stance. At the room right next to his.

Where it used to be Guy's room.

 _Used to be?_ That thought made his eyebrows to fall sown. Because that was nonsense. It was _still_ Guy's room. He has slept there, took showers there, played poker with his constructs. He still existed in that room. It was _Guy's,_ and not _Jason's._

He entered the room. It was quiet, dark, the bed was made, everything seemed clean. He turned his ring off to blend more with his surroundings. Mogo's air was breathable, and its temperature was enduring. He was going to be fine. He walked inside the room and was immediately greeted with chills on the back of his neck.

The room was kind of cold. Maybe it was just him rushing into a new atmosphere while he was safe and secure inside his costume seconds ago. Whatever. His attention was snatched by the room again. Everything was untouched, and it smelled neat. But the closer he got to Guy's bed, the more familiar it all started to sense.

He sat on the bed. Guy's bed. Ran a hand over the soft, grey blanket. It felt like Guy _just_ woke up in them that day. Like, if he kept rubbing his hands on the mattress, it'd feel warm again, like Guy was actually _there_. . . .

But looking around the room, he could confidently say it was the _only_ time he was seeing the room that clean. Sure, there wasn't much to make a mess with there, it was the space sanctuary. It was supposed to be simple and efficient. But as far as he remembered, Guy was able to even turn _that_ nothing to a clutter. With the sheets unmade, cans of beer everywhere, backpack and his Earth belongings on the ground.

It made him smile with fondness. He wasn't any better than the man himself. They were two disheveled, goofballs. They said that in time, you'd be like your best friend. Well, they weren't wrong.

He grabbed the pillow and put it before him. He found a tiny string of red hair on its corner. Guy's hair was probably the only thing that made him look young. It was a light strawberry color, like an orange. Actually, _exactly_ like an orange. Bright, youthful, and kind of cute. That was one of the fortunes he gained in life, considering he had such a hostile features. Squared jaw, pointy dark eyebrows, and that determination in his eyes.

As much as Guy looked the part, he was actually a pretty good wrestler. He'd drop hints of that fact here and there.

Like when he was trying to motivate them into attacking the Controllers.

 _"I think Guy just got profound. While making a_ pro wrestling _reference." Kyle said playfully._

 _And he cockily answered. "All this_ jawing _makes me sleepy. How's that?"  
_

Kyle was a bit hesitate. He was unsure. Like, he was afraid Guy would open the door any seconds and catch Kyle with his pillow near his face. He had a mixed feeling of faint nervous, and excitement. He slowly brought the pillow closer, buried his nose in the soft fabric, and. . . . Just breathed.

Took deeper breaths, and. . . . _there._ He could smell Guy. He closed his eyes and inhaled Gardner's scent. He sniffed dirt, tropical fruits, sweat, and underneath them all, Just _Guy._

He could feel his heartbeat picking a pace. He missed his friend. Missed being intimate with him, missed their closeness, missed smelling him, hearing his voice. . . .

What would he say if he was here?

 _"The_ sensitive artist _in you must love this, Rayner. A whole_ universe _, and johnny got no reason to send us out to bust heads."_

Oh, he could see where that was going. "Forget it, Guy. Last time you looked at me like that, I ended up _wrestling_ you in the training gym. I still have nightmares from your 'Thumps up' maneuver."

Guy would crack a small snore remembering that.

Kyle's heart was filled with fondness remembering that memory too. Guy wasn't a man to stand still for long. He always had to have something to do. Or else, he would've turned grumpy. Complaining was Guy's default behavior. Kyle couldn't recall an occasion where the man hadn't had his hands crossed against his board chest.

But Guy made them up with being a good person instead. There was a reason he was one of Abin Sur's candidates to wear his ring after all. He was a fighter, he used his ring like he had something to prove, to himself mostly. He had restrictions, he would've never fought with a kid, even if the said kid was Zod's son. He was hard to get along at first, but he would've given his life away for his friends in an instance.

He was a goddamn good friend.

 _"The only good thing I ever did, is being your friend."_ Guy's hoarse voice reached his ears.

He smiled at that. Who was being the sensitive artist now? He brought his head up to say that to his face. "Now, who's being. . ."

He was met with an empty room. No trace of Guy, or his voice. He stared at the pillow in his hands. 

The quietness of the room was suffocating him.

His throat felt tight. He couldn't breathe, he. . . . A flush went straight to his face. His cheeks felt warm.

He was only talking to himself. It was all in his head. It wasn't _real._ Guy wasn't there. He was. . . .

. . . . He was dead.

A single tear dropped on his face. He clutched the pillow tighter in his grips. Dammit, he was a Green Lantern. He had to get his shits together.

He had to be at his sharpest in the morning. He was supposed to train Jason. . . . Jason, who was Guy's replacement.

Guy, who he had the gut to visit his room after weeks. Maybe it was more. He had lost the count of time in space.

His eyes caught a can of beer near the end of the bed. He reached to grab it, with the intention to throw it away, it was a trash, right? But then. . . . stopped.

It was still full.

Guy had planned to drink that. Maybe one day after gym, or patrol . . . .

But not anymore. Guy wasn't there. He was in Emerald Space with Abin, Jade, Meyran Dethalis, Tomar-Tu's father, and the rest of the deceased Green Lanterns. Guy was _never_ going to come back to that room to finish his drink __.

That was the last straw. His shaky hands couldn't hold the can as it fell on the ground and rolled over to his feet.

Tears started falling down his face uncontrollably. He couldn't stop them, he just let them fall, and fall, and fall.

No one was there to see him. No one was going to come to that room anymore. It was Guy's, and he was _dead_ now. . . .

Oh, God.

He put his hand on his face and wept. Shed tears like he never did. . . .

He cried, and cried, until he didn't have any breaths to do so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grief is a bitch. And I'm so sorry :(


	9. Chapter 9

Everywhere he looked, there was a lantern sign. It was on the gates, the shape of their prison cells, their tables, their clothes, hell, there was a giant lantern in the middle of the planet. One would think _We fucking get it. You're the Green Lanterns corps. Jeez, have some modesty._

Honestly, it was tiring. Same colors, same symbols, same rooms. It was a tedium environment. If it wasn't for the diversity of the species, Jason would've felt like he was lost in a herd of sheep. He didn't have any problems with the aliens, but maybe a change of style wouldn't be so bad. Weren't they bored of the same old shit every fucking day?

Everybody seemed content with what they had. Well, they weren't a Goddamn _human being_. The room he stayed in was literally like a prison cell. Worse. At least a jail had a bathroom, or a shower, and fucking bed _sheets._ The room looked mostly empty except for a flat, metal surface conjunct to the wall. And what came on top, was the fact that it was _cold._

That was one way to describe it. And it didn't help that he had to sleep on that metal thing, which was supposed to be a _bed._ Nobody gave a shit to at least bring him a blanket or something. They all had forgotten how delicate a human's body condition was. Why would they when they had their rings to protect them from shifty temperatures?

Those fucking self-centered Lanterns.

The next morning, he met Kyle at the mess hall. It was probably the only place without any Green Lanterns symbols around. It was mostly like the military facilities on Earth. He grabbed a tray, and walked across the food bar. Seeing strange space foods was to be expected, but he was quite surprised to find some Earthy meals as well. There were burgers, stake, a big turkey, and a suspicious spaghetti. He could swear, it looked like it was breathing. Then there was pineapples, chicken wings, and. . . . _Holy shit!_

Was that coffee?

He immediately reached for that.

"Where the hell do they get this stuff from?" He asked.

Kyle grabbed one as well. "Oa has the most advanced technology in space." They moved out of the line. "It also has the largest community of Lanterns." He followed the man toward one of the empty tables in the hall. "We don't really need to eat or sleep. The ring will remove that need. But that way, its charge will end soon, and. . . . "

Kyle's hand stopped midway in the air toward his coffee. But he quickly retreated it back to his lap, and looked away.

"You _really_ don't want that in the middle of a battle." Kyle finished his sentence.

A human sized mushroom passed their tables. A _mushroom_. Why was he still surprised anymore? He should get used to seeing odd things like that if he was going to stay there.

They started to eat their food in silent. Jason had picked what looked like innocent pancakes, and it didn't taste half bad. He took a peek at Kyle's tray. There was an ice cream like dish, which was filled with red seeds of what seemed to be pomegranate, followed by a vanilla cake beside it. Strange choice for breakfast. Dick used to have all sorts of weird habits of eating junky foods too. . . . 

He leaned back against the large backrest. And suddenly, he felt all the exhaustion of the night, crashing on his shoulders.

"Care to elaborate why this modern Oa of yours, doesn't even have public bathrooms?"

He could really use a warm shower.

"Only the honor guard's rooms has bathrooms of their own." Kyle answered, taking a spoon from his reddish fruit. "But there are lots of joint bathrooms. You should've just asked your ring. It would've showed you a more private one."

"Yeah, well. In case you didn't know, my ring's not much of a talker." He took a sip from his coffee, and _God,_ it was good stuff. For a space coffee of course.

"Oh, really?" Kyle folded his arms on the table. "Ring, this is honor guard Rayner. Requesting your ring report."

 _"Request granted."_ His ring glowed a bit. _"Designed Lantern, Jason Todd 2814-7. Location, Earth. Ring charge, thirty seven percent."_

He frowned at his ring. It was bad enough that Bruce had a detailed background file of him in the Bat-computer. Now his name was known through-out the universe as well. That didn't make him feel comfortable _at all._

"How the hell does it know all this?"

"Every ring has a connection to the main battery on Oa, which taps into an artificial intelligence."

"Did you read that from a script, Rayner?"

Kyle just rolled his eyes at him.

Kyle turned back on eating his breakfast. Jason sipped his coffee, and his eyes fell on the Lantern's ring. An idea popped up in his head. It was stupid, he knew that, but he just wanted to see Kyle's reaction about it.

"You know, I think the ring's broken."

"The ring's _fine._ It JUST reported back, didn't you hear?"

"Yeah, well. What am I supposed to do with it? Just _talk_ to it?" He leaned on the table. "Maybe I need to get another one. Think yours will do it?"

"Go ahead." Kyle brought the back of his hand up to show him, and gave him a smirk. "My ring can't be removed. It's tapped to my DNA. Only _I_ can use it."

There he had it again. Kyle Rayner and his glorious success in life. One might have thought the universe was trying to tell him something. _'Be a better hero like Rayner'_ Oh, he fucking _got_ it.

"Then what the hell do you suggest?"

Kyle pointed his spoon at him. "Have you tried, _asking_ it?"

Jason stared at him, brought his fist up close to his face. "Can you tell me why the fuck won't you work?" He didn't ceased his eye contact with Rayner. He didn't want to miss the expression on his smug face when the ring would say. . . .

_"Power lock."_

Kyle's face fell, he murmured the ring's words again, and leaned back on his chair. He looked sideway, seeming in deep thoughts.

"It must be the oath." Kyle's hand reached to rub slowly on his chest, where his heart was supposed to be. "He used to say it, like, a lot. Guy, I mean. We all say that when we're in duty, but Guy. . . . he didn't just say it when he was a Lantern. He was constantly saying that, even outside of costume. To the point, where it turned to a weapon for him. He would've said the words, and suddenly, it was like he was Hercules. He fought like he had something to prove. To himself mostly. Torture and battle, nothing could break him. I mean, he took a punch from Arkillo, Sinestro's meanest, baddest Lantern, but got up to punch right back. That's. . . . if that's not the toughest thing in the universe, then I don't know what is."

Jason understood where Kyle was getting at. He could relate. Nobody expected him to come out alive in most of his battles. Ra's Al Ghul, Bane, Lady Shiva, Deathsroke, fucking Scarecrow, you name it. He faced them all, at the end of the night, he went home victorious.

His abilities were undermined, so were Guy's.

"I'm sorry for your loss." Jason offered his understanding.

"Yeah. . . . me too."

Jason got it. Their grief was still fresh. It must have been pretty hard for the Lantern to talk about his partner. Jason was no stranger to that feeling.

He eyed the blueberries on his pancakes. His appetite was long gone. Which was a pity. It wasn't everyday that you got to have space breakfast. One look at Rayner, and he seemed to have the same idea.

They were sitting in the last table at the end of the hall, far away from the other Lanterns. Jason was the only one wearing jeans, a shirt and a jacket over it. He was practically the elephant in the room. But nobody had bothered them even once. Maybe it was because it was Rayner, who was with him. Whatever being an honor guard meant in that corps, it definitely screamed superior, stronger, and _better_. Nobody looked dumb enough to mess with that.

Silence filled the gap between them. There was merely the noises of the hall, chatter, and a gross sound of someone eating with greed.

He turned his attention back to the Lantern before him. "What was it? The oath?"

"It doesn't work that way." Kyle played with his food. "You gotta swear it to the central battery__." He paused. "Oh, you mean for the ring__. Uh, Yeah. _Okay."_

Kyle leaned forward, put his elbows on the table, made a fist and started. "In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape my sight." His ring glowed faintly. "Let those who worship evil's might, be aware my powers, Green Lantern's light."

Jason just stared at him. Was he for real? What kind of bullshit was that?

"Seriously?" He asked with an unimpressed expression.

Was that what boosted Guy's powers? Was it supposed to feel inspiring? Who the hell made that oath? They needed to hear Shiva's pep talks.

"If you wanna be a Green Lantern, you gotta say that too."

"Did the space smurfs make that rule?"

"Space smu__." Kyle tried to hide his snore of laughter behind a couple of coughs. Jason didn't need an eye of a detective to notice that. "They're not _smurfs_." Another cough. "They're powerful immortals who created the Lantern Corps. They're actually the last of their kind."

"Well, can't those _guardians_ solve this problem?"

"'There's nothing they could've done. The effectiveness of the ring is tied to the wearer's willpower." Kyle ran a hand through his hair. It was longer than he remembered. But it was just as nice, better even. "And you have it in you, Jason. The ring saw it too. That's why it chose you. You just need to make it work."

"And how am I supposed to do that, genius?"

Kyle's lips twisted up to what could be describe as a rare smile. "That's what you got me for."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And you think it's just easy like that? Then you're in for a ride ;)   
> Kudos and comments are appreciated as always.


	10. Chapter 10

Kyle was a patient man. He had the potential to be a Blue Lantern. He had wield the power of hope before. He had installed hope, freed a Red Lantern from his ring without killing him, enhanced willpower. He recognized despair when he saw it in someone. But this time around, he was detecting it in himself.

He had to keep reminding himself that he was doing it for Guy. That was what Guy would've wanted. For his legacy to be carried, for his reputation to stay intact, for his replacement to bring honor to his name.

Kyle would be damned if he didn't try his best to make sure it happened. He was among the honor guards, and once upon a time, he was the head chief of the Lantern's trainers. He was familiar with the patient that responsibility held. But it could always be worse. For instance, he could have a thickheaded vigilant, like Jason as his learner.

But he knew it wasn't going to be easy from the start, especially with Jason's situation. It was tiring, and Jason certainly knew how to make it even harder for both of them. Trying to coax Jason into cooperation, was like being hit by Zod over and over, and there was nothing you could do, but to take them all.

He was a Green Lantern. He wasn't chosen to be a Lantern solely because he was fearless, but for his ability to sense fear, understand it, and more importantly, to overcome fear. He had a rough night, mourning the memory of his lost friend, but regardless, he was up the next day to start his job. He owed it to his friend to make him proud.

"Again."

Jason rolled his eyes in annoyance. "How many fucking times am I supposed to say that till you're convinced, it won't work?"

He didn't know why the ring wasn't functioning the way it was supposed to. They made sure to charge it, and Jason had said that oath more than a hundred times already. What else they needed to do?

"As many times as you have to. The ring won't come off, because it's there for a reason. C'mon, Jason. One more time. And this time, say it like you _mean_ it."

Jason huffed and reluctantly brought his fist up close to his face, like he was going to speak in a microphone. It was his left hand. He didn't know Jason was left handed till that moment. "In brightest day, in blackest night. No evil shall escape my sight. Blah, blah, blah. Protect and serve. You know the rest."

He pinched the bridge of his nose. This wasn't going to go anywhere if Jason refused to _do_ what he was told.

"Jason, you're not helping."

"This shit isn't working. No matter I shout it, or whisper it, it ain't gonna change a thing."

He hated to admit it, but Jason was right. If the oath wasn't what the ring needed, they had to try a new method.

He put his hands on his hips. "Alright, let's try something else. Focus on your Green Lantern uniform. What did it look like?"

"Black and green spandex?"

"Yeah, well, naturally." He gave Jason a look. "Try to remember it in details. Did it have anything different? Like a jacket maybe, gloves, a mask?"

"The hell should I know. It didn't even last a _second_ before it was gone."

Well. . . . that was just strange. He didn't think it had ever happened to any Lanterns before. So, he couldn't find any explanation for that.

"That probably was an original uniform then." He started. "But it's not permanent. You can create whatever costume you choose. You just need to be a little. . . . Inventive."

Jason put his weight on one foot, and pushed his hands in the pocket of his jacket. The vigilant gave a thorough look on Kyle's uniform, as if noticing his point. "So, the clothes we're wearing now will just, I don't know, _disappear_ or what?"

"No. The choice is personal. But whatever it is, the ring will project the costume over any clothes already worn at the time."

Jason clicked his tongue. "I knew that, of course. But the thing is, I've seen some _naked_ Green Lanterns when their ring goes off. So. . . . Just wanted to make sure."

He couldn't help the chuckle that slipped from his throat. First the space smurfs, and now _this_. Now he was seeing mental images of Hal, or maybe Guy, yeah it definitely would've been Guy, with the whole Justice League seeing his naked ass. What a scene would that be!

He found Jason's sense of humor enduring, almost familiar, and heart whelming. Jason's own small smile didn't escape his sight either.

"Well, to our defense, we have to be prepared to fly to Oa as soon as we receive an emergency call. No matter where you are, or. . . . what you're doing for that matter."

"That's gotta suck."

"Pretty much. But let's not get away from the issue here." He crossed his arms against his chest. "Now concentrate on your costume. Try to imagine it vividly. Channel your willpower to it. Choose courage over__."

Jason jumped in. "Concentration, imagination, that stupid oath, none of it works."

"You never know, unless you try." He insisted.

"Look, we're just wasting our time here." Jason showed him his ring. "It chose the wrong guy."

"The ring never makes a mistake. You're qualified, you _deserve_ it. And I don't know about you, but I _won't_ give up on you."

Jason shifted from one foot to another. He was a bit hesitate, but sighed, closed his eyes, and seemed to be doing what he was told to.

They stood there for a few minutes. Maybe five, maybe more, he tried not to count the seconds. That would just make him nervous. But to no vain, nothing happened again. If he didn't know Jason already, he would've thought the man didn't have sufficient willpower. But he knew better, he had traveled the multiverse with that guy.

So, what was the ring's problem? What did it want? What were they doing wrong? Did Guy have to go through the same thing? What were they missing?

Jason simply opened his eyes to give him a dry look. "See? Nothing."

He might have had an idea about what was causing Jason's power lock. It was unlikely, and so out of character for Jason, but he had to test those theories.

"Jason. . . . " He carefully tried to bring up the question without sounding like a jerk. "Is there a possibility that you're, like, afraid of something?"

Jason's eyebrows quirked down. "Why would there be?"

"It's just that. . . . " He took a deep breath. "See, our rings used to have impurity of yellow light. Which was the impact of the parallax, the entity of fear spectrum. And it made the Green Lanterns weak. We manged to wipe that taint off of our rings, but since the merge of Sinestro's Lanterns, the rings are still responsive toward fear."

"I ain't afraid of shit."

"I wasn't implying otherwise. I'm just checking to make sure it's not the issue here."

Jason stepped closer. "Drop it, Rayner!"

He opened his mouth to respond__.

"I must agree on behalf of Lantern Kyle." Space Ape said, floating above them and  flying to stand beside him. "I once was a member of the Sinestro's Corps. But my lady Soranik, decided to initiate a friendship with our cosmic enemy, the Green Lanterns. I was welcomed by the Green Corps to be an agent of the universe, but I am no stranger to fear. I sense it within you. I felt it the most in the chamber of Guardians. Something is troubling you."

"Well, your sense's fucked up. I ain't scared of anything." Jason said through his gritted teeth.

"Maybe he just needs a little motivation to admit it." That voice belonged to Kilowog.

His friend flew to stand before Jason. But the man didn't move an inch back, even though Kilowog exhaled a rapid, frightening haze out of his nose.

"Uh, guys. I think I got this__."

"Tell me, little man. What's givin' you goosebumps?" The pink alien asked with his loud, dominance, and animalistic voice.

"Your ugly face for start. How's that?" Jason shot right back, he didn't appear intimidated by Kilowog.

Soon, other Lanterns started to gather above them. They wanted to watch the show. Kilowog was trying to sit the newbie on his place again. Nobody would miss that. But from the looks of it, it did _not_ smell any good.

Kilowog hovered above Jason. "What's little princesses afraid of?"

He _did not_ like that tension floating in the air between them. He knew Kilowog meant well, that was how he treated the rookies to boost their resilient, but he definitely chose the wrong rookie this time.

Jason for his part, snorted. "If you're looking to make a man crack." He banged the back of his forearm to the alien's chest a few times. "Ain't no nuts tougher than me."

He was sure he heard some gasps. They were gasping, right? How _couldn't_ they?

"Hey, I really think we should__."

"You've got some guts, poozer." Kilowog commented.

It was like they all had forgotten he was even there. It didn't help making his heart pump harder by every second. The atmosphere of Mogo seemed to be thickened with a tight steam, surrounding Jason and Kilowog.

He knew Jason was a strong man. He had witnessed firsthand how brutal the guy could be, not to mention durable. But Kilowog was at least two feet taller than him. That was beside the point that the pink alien was ten times heavier than him. Deep inside that headstrong attitude, Jason shouldn't have forgotten that he was only flesh and bones. 

Just like Guy.

"But you know what?" Kilowog started.

Oh, no!

_No, no, no, no, don't say that Kilowog. Please__._

"That tough act of yours is only gonna fool your girl back home__."

Before anyone could even blink, Jason took the pink alien by his tusker like teeth, to bring his head down, and hit his face with his knee.

A bunch of Green Lights glowed above their heads.

"'You bastard!"

The pink alien brought his massive fist up.

"Kilowog, NO__."

He punched Jason hard on his face, and caused the man to fall on the ground.

"JASON!"

He rushed toward Jason, knelt before him. The said man sat on all four, coughed blood a couple of times.

"Jason, are you alright?"

Jason took a dew deep breaths through gritted teeth, his shoulders were sniff, and. . . . his fists were shaking. Jason slowly brought his head up, and Kyle felt like his own breath was stuck in his chest at that sight.

His eyes were glowing with green lightening.


	11. Chapter 11

"Are you even listening officer? This fire is an alien's doing!" Simon said impatiently.

The officer sighed and looked annoyed. "This place's no place for rookies. When will the _real_ Green Lanterns come?"

"We _are_ the real Green Lanterns! If you don't want us here, then we'll__." Simon's voice was starting to rise.

The officer just ignored him, and tabbed to his com-line in his ears. _"Colonel Trevor, I think we may need a code A-384 here__."_

"Let's get out of here, Simon." Jessica pulled her partner's arms. "Hal's going to kill us if we get into trouble with the government."

The aforesaid officer talked in Spanish to his com, but her ring had translated that for her. It also told her what that code stood for, via telepathy. It was a warning for authorized superheroes, who got involved with their work. If they didn't leave, then the government was going to send their federal forces to kick the Lanterns away. And considering Simon's history with Amanda Waller, it was going to end real ugly.

Simon paused for a moment, but then reluctantly flew away from the explosion scene. She flew after him.

Her partner was pissed and she considered saying something. But her Justice League communication beat her to it.

_"Baz, Cruz. This is Batman. We need to talk."_

She sneaked a peek at Simon to see if he was hearing the same order. "Copied that, Batman. We're on our way__."

Her ring glowed a bit. " _Warning. A plane approaching. Unable to identify."_

They ceased their flying when they bumped to a dark jet, floating in the middle of the air. What the hell was that that her ring couldn't detect? Her sharp sight took notice of a shadow on the vehicle.

Oh, she had _practiced_ for moments like that.

She pointed her ring at it, like she was pointing a gun. "This is Green Lantern commanding. Step aside from that jet before we take force action___Oh, shit."

"Hey! You were doing well. Why did you___Oh, crap."

The said dark figure sat straight to reveal the one and only, Batman. She dropped her hand immediately. Why did he have to sneak on them, and scare the crap out of them like that? And his only warning was _'We need to talk'_.They were Lanterns, and could fly _fast._ He could've saved himself the trouble. But instead, he decided to show up himself. Was that why Hal always said _"Batman is a Lantern of his own. His sector? Gotham."_ Because it totally felt like it at the moment.

"You know, I'm not shocked that you're a weirdo, but what the hell?" Simon started. "If you were going to__."

Batman just ignored he heard anything. "There's a new Lantern chosen from Earth."

She exchanged a look with her partner. _Guy. . . ?_ Her ring answered yes in her head.

"How did you know?" He asked skeptically.

She had an urge to roll her eyes, but didn't act upon it. She didn't want to make her partner look bad in front of Batman. But what kind of a stupid question was that? _Of corse he did!_ Was there anything Batman didn't know? They were the Green Lanterns, but Batman knew about their new member sooner than them. It felt like it was impossible for Batman not to know everything.

"He was chosen from my city."

Oh. That explained it better.

"Is that what you wanted to talk about?" She asked.

"I want to see him."

"Uh. . . . "

"We can't help you with that." Simon jumped in. "We need to take care of something here. It's an alert code 3-12. But you wouldn't know what that is, of course."

"Baz, even _you_ didn't know what it was. How's Batman supposed to know that?" She turned to her partner.

"Jess, shut _UP."_ Simon muttered.

"No, _you_ shut up__."

"It's a code for an unauthorized alien." Batman responded quickly.

She just stared at the man. She hadn't slept for twenty four hours to memorize all the codes there was to know about the Lantern's duties, but she still had no idea what those numbers stood for when she flew there. And yet, _Batman_ knew.

"I don't have time for this. I need to see this new Lantern, right _now."_ He ordered with his tough, hoarse, Bat-like voice.

"Sorry, Bats. But we have a situation here__."

"Which is currently being dealt with by the A.R.G.U.S agents." The vigilant finished his sentence for him.

How did you. . . . Dammit, it was on the tip of her tongue. Now she realized why her partner also wondered of Batman's work. The man was weird as hell, and if that wasn't the most awkward conversation she had ever had, then she didn't know what else was.

Simon folded his arms against his chest. "Why?"

The Bat just gave him a dead stare. "We have some unfinished business."

"And it can't wait until after he's trained?" She asked. But out of curiosity of course. She couldn't pretend to be rude, just so she could make a point that a Green Lantern wasn't scared of anything. But it wasn't just _anything._ It was _Batman_ , and she felt. . . . . she couldn't say _afraid_ , goosebumps was better to describe how she felt around that dark, spooky vigilant.

"He's a wanted criminal in Gotham."

Ouch! He probably shouldn't have said that. Looking back at Simon, and seeing how he made a tight fist in his side, she could see the anger coming.

"What are you trying to amply here, Bats? That just because he's a _criminal,_ he can't be a hero? He can't be _good_ _?_   Isn't that, like, _against_ what we stand for? Isn't it what we do here? To give the bad guys a second chance to be better?" Simon growled half of his words.

He was offended by the Bat's words. How couldn't he, when the government still stuck the _'Terrorist'_ mark on his forehead? While in reality, he was merely a thief, who stole the wrong car, and when it exploded, it caused him to be accused of terrorism. It certainly made the charges easily against him, because he was Muslim, and that was supposed to explain everything. 

Ugh, those racist politic bullshits. She cursed to herself.

He used to be a criminal, he owned that part of his life as he carried that gun on his thigh. But his life changed since the day he received a Green Lantern ring in prison. He got a second chance, to be someone better, to prove everyone wrong, to be a hero.

She hated seeing Batman lose his temper and get angry, she was kind of scared to even think about it, but it served the dark vigilant right to be hit by Simon's words.

"You don't understand. It's not__."

"No, _you_ don't understand. The new guy's a Green Lantern now. Which makes him _our_ responsibility. And we know how to take care of our own agents. You don't get to pick your nose in our business."

Batman was frightening quiet for a minute.

"Lantern Baz, I'm not going to repeat myself." He started slowly, with that leader-y tone he used in the Justice League missions. "You either take me to that boy, or you're going to leave this sector."

Pfff. It was just a threat. Batman couldn't possibly deport them from their own sector. . . . . 

Could he?

A chill ran though her spine at the thought of that. Who did she presume she was confronted with? The freaking _Batman._ The man who sneaked upon the weapon, which was designed to pick up the slightest sense of threat.

Yeah, they were fucked.

_Pretty much._

Wait. Was that her ring talking, or the voice in her head?

"No." Simon said determinedly, and crossed his arms against his chest.

That just reminded her of who she was. Courage over fear, right. _In your face, Batman. We're the Green Lanterns. Nobody forces us to do shit!_

The silent between them was suffocating. She rubbed her arm slowly. She felt like she was being analyzed by Batman's exacting stare. Like he was seeing her nude or something. It was intense, and. . . . It absolutely didn't help with her anxiety. He was waiting for her response, to see if she agreed with Simon, so he could make the calls and banish them both from protecting Earth.

She just sighed.

_Who are you kidding, Jessica? This is the frigging Batman before you. Your mentor, your colleague who was subtly the League's leader, the man who always had a plan, the man who stayed true to his threats._

Being a Green Lantern was awesome, they did cool stuff, but even they had their weaknesses. And while Simon was all impulse and 'I can do it', she was anxiety and 'I can't do it'.

She understood why Simon was resisting toward Batman's request. Her partner didn't care whether this newbie was a criminal, or a nobody. He'd gladly wait till the new Lantern was trained and took his place as Earth's guardian, so he could fly in space with his friends, where they respected what he stood for. Hal had left them with the help of Justice League as their mentors, but even being seen with them in public didn't serve its purpose. There was _always_ some assholes, who undermined them. Like earlier with that officer.

But, if she went to the space, it meant running away from all those problems, and she was _done_ running. She had to stay on Earth and prove them all wrong. Simon too. He owed it to his family, and to his people, to change the world's view about him. She hided in her apartment for as too long as it was. She didn't become a Green Lantern to hide in a bigger one.

And even if there was the tiniest bit of threat to take them both back to their miserable zone again, she had to make sure they'd survive that shit.

_I'm sorry, Simon. I'm doing this for both of us._

"Yes." She answered firmly. " _I'll_ do it."

"Jess__."

"But on _one condition."_

"I'm not here to bargain__."

 _"Why?"_ She ignored both men. "Tell me the reason. The _true_ reason, and I'll take you there. . . . Why do you want to see this new Lantern so badly? What's his relation to you?" _  
_

She could see Simon's fist clenching beside him. He wanted to protest, but he didn't say a word. He had sensed the little doubt in his head, that what if Batman wasn't bluffing? But of course, he would've left the hard decisions to be made by her. Not everything ended with a punch in the face. Sometimes, it took courage to choose the easiest way, event though you might have had a chance to win it the hard way. And someone had to be the reasonable Lantern around.

Batman was quiet for a few minutes. How long exactly? An hour? Five hours? A day? Ugh, why wasn't he just saying _something?_ She didn't ask him a philosophy question. She simply wanted to know,  _why?_

Could the Bat possibly walk a single step and not be dramatic about it?

"Because he's my son."

For a moment, she thought she didn't hear what he said. She looked at her partner to see the same question forming on his face. And they both screamed the same silent thing.

 _His_ _son?_

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

"How the hell was I supposed to know about Jason being his _son?"_

"Batman contacted you yesterday in the chamber. Surely you must have been aware of his arrival, Hal." John said.

"Yeah well, I thought he was acting like the jerk he was!"

"Leader Steward." Salaak asked for their attention from his position in the central command. "We appear to have a problem in Mogo's filed." His four arms worked quick with the blue advanced monitors of their modern race.

He opened a screen footage of the said field. The picture revealed an angry Lantern with bolts of green light in his eyes, wearing. . . . Guy's uniform?

Was he Jason?

He watched Kyle getting closer to him slowly, bringing his hand up in a peace offering, mumbling some stuff, probably to calm the furious Lantern. He saw Two-Six, swiped the man off of the ground in to a green bubble. That caused Jason to lose his shit as he blasted a green energy, powerful enough to burst free and throw Kyle aside on his way.

He and John rushed to the scene. Once out, Hal found other Lanterns gathered around Jason, preparing their rings to restrain the man, who clearly looked out of his right mind. But, his costume was what caught his eyes. It. . . . . It almost looked like, Guy's? No, _exactly_ like Guy's. . . . Black spandex with green sleeveless jacket over it, white belt and gloves, his green boots. Even the same big hem.

He brought his own fist up. But before anyone could build a construct, John ordered. "Cease your rings. _NOW!"_

Everybody looked at Jason and then back at their leader, and reluctantly brought their hands down.

 _"Willpower spiking."_ Jason's ring kept repeating. _"Willpower spiking."_

Various kinds of weapon and guns were constructed around Jason. All big  and heavy military guns, with such detailed shapes that only someone who was familiar with could build. Boy, he really was Batman's kid. But Jason didn't seem to realize his mind was off, and constructed whatever he had stored in his imagination. Because, he hadn't made a move to use them. Yet.

"John, I think we should__."

"No, Hal. I don't want any unnecessary damage to Mogo. I'll deal with this."

John flew toward Jason to be at the same level with him, but he preserved his distance, careful not put Jason off more than he already was. "Ring, this is Corps' leader, John Steward commanding. Initiate shutting off, and return to your leader _right this instance."_

 _"Voice recognition activated. Green Lantern Corps' leader recognized. Command initiated."_ The ring flew away to John's open palm.

Immediately, Jason was back to his civil clothes, and his constructs were gone. Hal made a jump to catch the boy before falling, but Kyle beat him to it as he snatched him in the air. But the man seemed to weight too much for Rayner to hold as he laid Jason on a hospital bed he made. When he got closer, Hal could see that Jason had actually passed out.

"Hal, take him to Dr. Thaova." John turned toward him.

"I got this, John." Kyle flew forward, only to be stopped by their leader.

"No. You will stay and explain this outburst."

Hal made a big hand to carry the boy inside.

* * *

 

When he went to check on the boy at night, he found Kyle beside his bed. Sitting in an armchair, a sketchbook on his lab, and a green visual of Guy before him. Hal couldn't say he wasn't hit by nostalgic feelings himself, when he witnessed Jason in Guy's costume. It has been a while since they last felt his presence in Oa. . . . .

His loss was hard on all of them, but from the looks of it, Kyle seemed to get the worst of it. He and Guy were pretty close. The closest in fact. Rayner was Guy's first choice of drink buddy. They were partners in more than one way. Guy was the one, who used his whole willpower to hold Kyle's ring, when the said Lantern was presumed dead, until Soranik revived him again. It was for Guy that the universe still had its Torchbearer.

"How are you holding up, man?"

Kyle's head whipped up. "Hal." He quickly put his sketch aside, and shut off his construct. "I didn't notice you coming."

Obviously. "I just came to check on the boy." He walked up toward the bed. "He made quite a scene today."

Kyle gave a look to the unconscious boy on in the bed. "Yeah, it's what he's good at."

Kyle seemed to already know him. He turned his eyes on Jason too. He had a blue IV to his veins, which was plugged to the medical system in Oa technology. Here he was hoping he'd be alright pretty fast.

"I think he needs his ring to enhance the healing process, though. He took quite a hit." Kyle said as if reading his thoughts.

"I didn't see him get hurt." He sat on the edge of the bed, near Kyle's chair.

"He took a hard punch in the head while he was out of his uniform. He didn't have his defense system to prevent sever damage."

"How's he gotten punched that hard?" But he had a feeling he knew how.

"He. . . . he got into a fight with Kilowog."

Naturally. "Well, that just explains the mental rampage."

Kilowog and his methods to _'toughen up rookies'_ might have been efficient, but even _he_ would've forgotten how vulnerable a human's body was in comparison to his own. Especially, if a Bat-kid was his opponent.

"But it's nothing Batman's son can't survive."

He watched Kyle's expression change into confusion. "How did you he's. . . . ?"

"How did _you?_   You know this kid?" He motioned toward the boy sleeping in the medic bed.

Kyle sighed and leaned back against the chair. "He's the Red Hood. We traveled the multiverse to find Ray Palmer together. He was Donna's friend."

Wasn't Red Hood that outlaw guy? Was that what Batman meant about him being a criminal?

"But, how did you find that out?" Kyle asked.

"Jessica and Simon called and gave us heads up that they're bringing Batman here. Said he wants to see his _son."_

Kyle breathed an inhale, which looked more like a bitter chuckle. "You know, I knew he wouldn't last a _week_ here. But. . . . it's just been a _day_. And look at him now. He's dead to the world, and _Batman's_ coming after him now."

"How do you know Batman's coming _after_ him? I just said he wants to _see_ his son."

Kyle rolled his eyes. "Hal, stop this. You're not a detective, and frankly, you wouldn't be good at it."

"Hey! Don't question my policeman abilities." He pointed a finger at him. "Astute artist, huh?"

"Well, humor is a kind of art. You can't blame me for being talented." The corner of his lips quirked to a smile.

 _'I see you've been hanging out with Guy much'_ that was what he was about to say, but then realization hit his guts and made him bite his tongue. He still couldn't believe they lost Guy after all. His replacement was asleep right next to him, Kyle was drawing his face minutes ago. It felt like he has never left them. Oa had never been that quiet before Guy. . . . . 

"But all this aside." Kyle's voice brought him out of his thoughts. "You _know_ he's a criminal. Batman's not coming all the way from Earth here to drink tea with him."

Salaak told him that Kyle was opposed to the idea of Jason being the new Lantern. At the time, he had received a call from Bruce and wasn't there to see what happened, but he heard Kyle was quite insisting the kid didn't want to be a Green Lantern. And now, that way of talking, like he was counting the seconds for Bruce to arrive and take Jason away with him. It was apparent that kyle still wasn't happy with the ring's choice.

He got it, after Guy's death, they all became a little more sensitive regarding his ring and his replacement, but. . . . They needed to give the kid another chance. Hal wasn't going to let Bruce interfere with their work, and the fact that Jason was Batman's son, certainly didn't make it any different. This wasn't Earth, nor Justice League. Someone needed to teach that control freak to mind his own business.

"But it was in the past, right? Is he still a criminal now?" He asked.

Kyle shrugged his shoulders. "He. . . .I don't know. Maybe? We didn't exactly have a friendly meeting every now and then when I was on Earth. So. . . . I mean, I guess?" He leaned forward to put his elbows on his knees, and played with the pensile between his fingers. "He mostly wanted to kill the bad guys, I mean, the top dangerous ones, like the Joker. He believed that if you kill one person, you'd save a hundred good ones."

That made Hal pause in responding. He couldn't deny he didn't know what the kid meant by that. He always wondered that himself. That they'd be stopping thousands of ticking bombs if they just squashed one person's skull. It was everyone's darkest temptation. At times, it seemed like the right thing to do. In the end, they all were trying to save the world, even Atrocitus and his single-minded cult of rage.

But what made him different from those people, was the fact that he didn't act upon them. Simon was chosen in prison, John had killed many men before, Guy wasn't so enthusiastic about saving those Darkstar aliens in the space, Hal himself had endangered the future of the whole Corps with his previous actions as the leader. Nobody was perfect, even heroes like them. He learned it the hard way.

"Listen, Kyle. I understand why you don't want him to be Guy's replacement. But you know better than anyone. The ring _chose_ him. he's here for a reason."

"I _know._ I just. . . . I just wished, it was, someone else, you know. . . . It's stupid, I know__."

"No, it's okay, Kyle. You just. . . . need to give him a chance."

The said Lantern sighed, and folded his hands together. "I'm. . . . trying. I just . . . . I'm scared he won't be the hero he's supposed to be. I mean, look at Tomar-Tu. He was one of the greatest Lanterns, but. . . . out of twisted sense of justice, he killed a person. And now he's . . . ."

Yeah, he knew what happened to his friend. He didn't need a reminder of how he failed to be the good example for Tomar-Tu, that his father was to him. His mentor. He'd be damned to let another Lantern, who looked up to him, down.

"Listen." He licked his lips. "Heroes are just like everyone else. We aren't better people just because we wear a uniform or a ring. And just like everyone else, we get to _choose_ what kind of people we'll be.

"When we make mistakes, and we _all_ do, we can use the experience to make us _better_. It took me a long time to understand that. But _everyone_ deserves a second chance."

Kyle nodded his head in understanding. But he didn't bring his head up to meet his eyes.

"How's he?" He motioned toward the kid after some minutes were spent in silence.

"He's not waking up." Rayner looked over Jason, whose chest was rising and falling steadily. "Dr. Thoava said he's in. . . . some sort of coma. I think the ring messed his head up."

Hal put Jason's ring on the bed, where Kyle could see it. "He's gonna be okay. He's a Bat-kid. I heard they're tough to break."

"Nah, don't trust whatever you hear. I once kicked his ass."

"Sure you did." He chuckled and ruffled his hair.

"Alright, I better go now." He stood to walk out.

"Hal." Kyle stood up as well. "Thanks, I. . . . I needed that."

Hal patted his shoulder. "Of course. That's what I do. I'm Hal Jordan, everyone's favorite hero."

"God, I take it back." But he laughed nevertheless.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I can say, is that the first part isn't from Jason's POV. Just the second.....Also, that unrequited love tag is there for a reason, which will be clear in this chapter.  
> Enjoy!

"Careful, Guy!"

"Shooters at the tower, Johnny!" He pointed at the mercenaries in the installation. _Don't just stand there, you idiot. DO SOMETHING._ He made a giant hand and crushed all those bastard aliens at once. John turned from shooting the others to spare a look to the pile of knocked down bodies behind him, and gave him an acknowledged nod.

From the looks of it, the enemies were almost defeated. He expected more from Controllers, the most dangerous immortals in the universe his ass. They were nothing before the will of the four Green Lanterns' pals.

From his peripheral point, he picked up a moving. A damn mercenary. How did they miss that asshole? And he had his aim toward. . . . oh, hell, no__.

"JORDAN!"

He shielded himself before Hal, and . . . . . 

The vibration weapon blasted his chest, and. . . . _Fuck_. It was too much for his costume to bear. It tore through the green protection around him, and it hit him fucking _hard_. Ugh, his ribs were probably all broken. . . . at least, most of them. Dammit, those space sausages.

"Guy!" Green bolts passed his vision.

_That's right, you fuckers. you don't mess with the corpsmen . . . . ugh, shit . . . . kick their asses, Hal._

His legs couldn't hold him. He fell on his knees, clutched his side, burning in _pain_ , and just realizing his awful luck at the moment. His ring's charge was running out. _The one time he forgot to charge it!_ What the hell was his logic? They were going to save two space smurfs from their sworn enemies, and it was as easy as that?

He cursed Karma, and . . . . . Dammit, his chest felt like it was ready to explode from the inside. Rayner was right. Every time he said shits were fine, they just got worse.

"Guy! Are you alright?"

Speak of the devil. Rayner ran toward him, blasting new aliens from behind, all armed heavily, and . . . . those bastards just brought backup. A whole lot of backup. Fuck . . . . . 

His ribs were crushing his flesh from the inside. He had a strong urge to hug his arms around himself to sooth the agony, but he knew it'd only worsen the wound. He clawed desperately at his jacket, his side was torn apart, revealing a nasty, bloody skin pouring warm liquid.

Arms lifted him from the ground, he half expected them to be Kyle's, but they were the powerful hands of their leader. He put Guy's lifeless arm around his neck, and pushed him up on his feet. In the clutter of shooting noises and growls, he thought he heard Rayner's voice again. Asking if he was okay.

"I feel like . . . . I had my guts in a blender." He spited the words out.

They dragged their asses to a redoubt. Kyle and Hal built a big shelter around them, but it was cracking, the shootings were too powerful for two sheer of willpower. He just . . . . needed to get his shits together and help his friends __.

"No, Guy. You're injured severely." John said. "You _won't_ be moving a muscle." 

"Johnny, those losers . . . . can't do it  . . . . .without me."

John just ignored him and stood next to the two Lanterns. He raised his ring to build a larger protection. "Kyle, we got this. Go help Guy." He shouted through the noises around them.

Rayner rushed toward him without question. Yeah, just because he was once a Blue Lantern and knew how to heal others, didn't make him any better . . . . shit, it totally did. His mind wasn't grasping anything in that intense pain.

Kyle knelt before him, constructed a few alien medical supplement. He sure had been spending more time with Soranik to pick up one or two things. Even if he hadn't, Guy trusted him. Kyle knew what he was doing.

"Blasted me good, Kyle." His voice sounded rougher than ever. "Vibrations are like a _Bat_ to my ribs." Talking hurt. His chest felt like it didn't even have enough space for his lunges, let alone air to breathe. But he grunted and continued. "Think I'll kick back here a while."

Rayner didn't answer. It was weird for his artistic spirit to be that quiet. He wanted to wipe that worry expression off of his face. Even if it meant torturing himself with talking. It was nothing. He had taken worse from his old man. He'd heal, but it was hard to concentrate when he knew underneath Rayner's mask, his eyebrows were twisted down in concern. He couldn't see it, he just . . . . knew it.

"You know, I . . . . " He hissed from the pain in his side. "Had hangovers, Hnn . . . .  that got me worse."

Kyle opened his mouth to say something, but it was lost in the explosion that broke their shield. Johnny and Hal were thrown aside. Rayner turned to construct a hard wall before them, but they got him from behind. He had a personal force_field that protected him from bullets, but they weren't so efficient before alien blasts.

Benching time was over. He needed to move his ass, _right now._ He tried to stand up, but his body didn't budge, he could only sit on one knee. He grunted and forced his hand to leave his side, and pointed it toward those aliens bastards. He couldn't afford to shoot them, he just needed to build a shield around them, long enough for his pals to recover and show them what a Green Lantern's will was.

_"Power level, five percent."_

He gritted his teeth, and held his arm up. If he dropped it, then his friends . . . .

_"Power level, four percent."_

Mercenaries kept shooting vibration. His shield was breaking, his ring was trying to use its remained charge to heal him, but he stubbornly focused his will into keeping the protection intact.

_"Power level, three percent."_

Yeah, he _fucking knew it._   His time was running out, any moment his charge would be over and he'd be left in his T-shirt. Possibly die if his friends didn't get up. So, he didn't need his ring to count the minutes he had left like a time bomb.

_"Power level, two percent."_

Dammit, he was a Green Lantern. You needed to walk over his _dead body_ to take away his will from him. He'd _never_ give up, he wasn't dead yet, he was still alive, his ring still had power, so he was going to keep fighting, they had two Guardians to save.

_"Power level, one percent."_

He shouted out loud, his arm was shaking, his wound was pulsing painfully, his chest was on _fire._ But he didn't badge an eye on them. He kept shouting and never ceasing his aim. They had to go through _him_ , Guy-fucking-Gardner to get to his friends. And he was no easy game.

_"Power level, 0.10."_

His life flashed before his eyes. He saw the night he saved his brother from that gang war. He saw his old man, coming home from his double shift, drunk as always, only to start beating the shit out of him, calling him a _disappointment._ He remembered the first time a ring saw him qualified as an intergalactic policeman. He remembered being forced into partnering up with Rayner. He remembered chasing Kyle's ring to prevent it from seeking a replacement. Their fight in the space bar, getting drunk together, teasing him for his crush on Soranik.

_"Power level, 0.5"_

He could sense the tortures of Sacraments, the nightmares of Fear Engine, the rage of Atroticus, the cold soft kisses of Tora. He had never been more proud in his entire life to follow the leadership of John Steward. He hadn't met anyone with such great willpower like Hal. And Kyle, that artist sap. He was the heart of their corps, when everyone thought so little of him, he had proved them _wrong_ time and time again. He was the one, who held the power of a God, but didn't lose his shit to its corruption.

_"Power level, 0.1"_

There was a time, where he wore two rings. Rage and Love. He had to think about something he hated and loved the most. Well, he _loved_ being a Green Lantern, and he _hated_ feeling angry all the times. But it was then. Now, he loved what that former White Lantern made him feel, and he _hated_ that he would never get the chance to tell him about it.

_"Power level, 0.01"_

"Guy . . . . "

He recognized Kyle's weak voice, even though he himself was still shouting, even though he couldn't feel anything other than pain. He heard Kyle calling him. Maybe . . . . Maybe, he'd get up, and . . . .

_"Power level, zero percent."_

His heartbeat rang on his ears.

He did the right thing, right? He was a good guy.

His eyes were filled with green light . . . . . 

* * *

 

"KYLE!"

He bolted upward. He choked on his breath. His chest was burning, his lunges were heavy. He was suffocating, he couldn't BREATHE. Fuck! He couldn't breathe__.

"It's okay, Jason. Look at me, it's alright__."

That voice, he knew that voice. He turned his head toward the source, and he found Kyle there.

"Jason, breathe. C'mon, buddy. Breathe."

He could hear that voice, telling him to breathe, but . . . . Rayner, he looked worried. He didn't like to see Rayner worried. He needed to say something, but, his chest, it was . . . . He couldn't . . . . 

"Look at me, breathe with me. In . . . "He took an inhale. "And out . . . " He exhaled. "Again, in  . . . . and out."

He listened to that voice, and breathed. Slowly, steady. The sound of his heartbeat became obvious to him. It was thudding rapidly beneath his ribs. He licked his dry lips. The hand on his forehead was warm against his chilly skin, but it also made him conscious about the cold sweats on his body. It was Kyle's hand . . . .

He frowned at that name.

Kyle . . . . 

Jason wasn't the one who called for him.

He slapped the hand away, proceeded to get the hell out of there. He was done with that ring's craziness. He unplugged the IV string out of his veins. _What the hell did they injected to his body?_

"Jason, wait. You need to__."

"Don't fucking _touch me."_

Kyle put his hands up as a sign of surrender. "Okay, okay. Just, calm down."

No, he didn't want to _calm down._ He wanted to leave that damn place. He wanted nothing to do with that ring and it's craziness. Ever since it attached itself onto to him, it's been messing with his head. 

First that dream with Dick, and now, he was literally Guy Gardner for God knew how long.

His shirt was stuck to his body, his head was pouncing in pain. Ugh, that big _pig_. He recalled the punch he received from that pink alien with red eyes.

"Are you alright?"

He pushed the heel of his hand on his scalp. He took a few deep breaths. No, he was not _alright_. His head hurt like he's been hit by a train, his chest felt heavy like he was drowning and couldn't breathe, he lost his mind to the ring and blasted whoever came near him.

His eyes caught sight of the ring on his finger. His left hand, the _wrong_ one. The wrong choice. It was all that ring's fault he was losing his head again. And this time around, there wasn't going to be any Dick Grayson to save his sorry ass. He was all by himself, getting traumatized by a space jewelry, and . . . . all alone.

"Maybe a shower will do you good. How about it?"

He stared at Kyle. He wanted to argue with the man, to growl to his face _'He didn't need his fucking HELP'._ But he was too tired. Really, a shower didn't sound bad at the moment.

Kyle let him use his own Bathroom. Jason didn't even spare the room a look, he headed straight to the shower. Let the hot water run on his body, he could feel every single muscle flexing under the spray of shower. He put his hands on the wall, and let the water slip on his back and neck. Water-drops fell from his hair on his face. He closed his eyes, and breathed in the clean fog.

He saw Dick and his pretty blue eyes, smiling at him, he missed his lips. He saw Guy Gardner, determined that he'd survive, even in his last breath. He saw Kyle and thought how much he hated the man, and for no good reason.

He toweled himself and walked out of the shower into the room, and found a set of new clothes on the bed. A dark blue shirt and black jeans. There, now he had a reason to hate the Lantern.

The lantern door opened, and the said man entered the room. But when he saw Jason in the middle of his room with only a towel wrapped around his waist, he stopped at his trek.

"Uh . . . . I just came to check if you needed anything."

He didn't say anything. Kyle just stood there, but all Jason could think about, was how Guy felt about the man. He could sense the former Lantern's thoughts, his feelings. Jason knew how he felt about Kyle. Rayner was among the many memories Guy saw before his death arrived, but not in all of them was Kyle considered as a _friend._

Now that he thought about it, it all made sense.

Kyle coughed to break the awkward silence. "Okay. I'll just . . . . go, I guess."

He wondered if Dick thought about him in his last moments, like Guy did about Rayner. He'd never know, and so wouldn't Kyle.

"Wait."

Kyle turned around. He walked up toward the aforesaid man.

_An unrequited love is just a love. He lost it, Kyle lost it. What could go wrong?_

Jason grabbed his face to pull him in for a kiss. His ring started burning on his finger.


	14. Chapter 14

It's been a good couple of hours, but there was no trace of Simon and Jessica arriving in Oa with Batman. Maybe they ran into some troubles on their way there. What did he know? That man was Batman, and problems never ran out when you were a dark crusader. Maybe they bumped into a Justice League emergency?

That probably would buy more time for Jason to prepare himself for the storm that was his father. Speaking of which, he needed to make sure the man was doing fine by himself. He seemed dazed and a bit outraged when he woke up from his unconsciousness.

With that thought on his mind, Kyle entered his room, only to be met by the sight of the said man, naked, saved for the white towel wrapped around his waist, standing in the middle of his room. He was taken aback by that show of well-built muscles and body structure of . . . . Well, he has seem true Gods and their children. _That_ was fairly better than all of them.

He forced his gaze up to the man's face, who was strangely quiet. "Uh . . . I just came to check if you needed anything."

He was met by silence. He gulped the urge to stare at Jason's body again. It was of no wonder he was a vigorous man, he was a Bat after all. But somehow . . . . he didn't know how to think about it, because exactly, he had never thought about Jason outside his biker jacket. And being faced with it in person, totally made it different from anything he could've imagined.

But Jason . . . . he kept quiet. The room smelled of an awkward faze other than the balmy fog of the shower. Jason just stared at him with an unreadable expression, like he was trying to see through his mind into his deep, dark thoughts. Its intensity made Kyle feel like _he_ was the half naked person in the room.

"Okay. I'll just . . . . go, I guess."

He moved to leave. It was his room of course, but if Jason was waiting for him to leave, then he'd do that. It was okay, though. He could maybe go on a patrol, or__.

"Wait."

That single commanding voice had him stopping his trek. He turned around to see Jason walking up to him. He could never be more grateful for having his mask to cover his face, because he seemed unable to turn his eyes off of Jason__of _that._

Up that close, he watched water drops sitting on his solid, brawny muscles, slipping tear by tear over his torso, on those lines of eight pack, and disappeared down under the towel, right to his . . . .

His face was pulled forward by big hands, and before he knew it, warm lips were on his, pressing compelling and persuasive. He didn't know what to do. His hands were up between them, but they were unsure whether to push the man away, or grip on his naked arms and pull him closer. He didn't know what to do, or . . . . what he _wanted_ to do at that point.

 _This_ . . . . this was Jason. 

Jason who gave him shit, because he had a high school crush on Donna while Kyle was dating her. Jason, who made the multiverse travels hell for them with bickering with him. Jason, who's punches hurt like an airplane crash.

Jason started moving his lips against his, opening his jaw to take more of Kyle's lips between his. Kyle's lips drank up from his hesitation. They gave in to the little attention they were given by Jason's hungry, possessive lips before he could start to think about pushing back.

Jason, who was deem worthy to wear Guy's ring. Jason, who had a witty sense of humor. Jason, who has been given so much shit for his attitude, but nevertheless did everything he could to be one of the good guys. Jason, who screamed his name when he woke up from that nightmare. Jason, who reminded him of Guy more than anyone . . . . 

He put his hands on Jason's waist and kissed him just as feisty. He willed his mask off so he could kiss Jason better, to make up for the hesitate moments. Jason's hands slipped on his arms, tried to form some kind of closeness as he guided the Lantern's hand to the small of his back. Kyle's palm opened to grasp as much skin as he could. He could feel the slight soaking skin, muscles flexing as hard as a rock, warm, firm, human.

Jason's hands pushed his hair back. Kyle's head followed the movement, and it gave him opening to slick his tongue inside his mouth. Kyle allowed it, sucked on the tip and titled his head for better access. Jason's tongue was as dominating as his lips, slithering against his own tongue, powerful, hot, wet with saliva, and . . . . it was a recognizable earthy scent, a human taste.

He usually wouldn't jump into tongues and making out that quickly, but then again, nobody had ever kissed him like that. Alex's kisses were controlled, had boundaries, he never got more than she was willing to give. Underneath all her strength, Donna's kisses still held that womanly elegance. Jade's were painfully slow, in a pleasing way, like they had all the time in the world. Soranik's were longing and firm, like every time they kissed, it was their last one.

But Jason . . . he kissed like he fought. Domineering, selfish, greedy, unwilling to let go, sucking his breath away, but leaving him wanting more. Kisses which used teeth more than lips, jealous, angry, but . . . . God, he wasn't quiet feeling the aggression yet. It had hint of moderate seduction. Gentle nipping, hard grips on his hair, mild breaths against his face, they were all so _human_.

Something in his chest broke. It ached, made him whine to the kiss.

That was _exactly_ how he imagined Guy would kiss.

He pulled back to stare at Jason . . . . _Jason_. This was _Jason_. Why? How? Why _now?_

He frowned at the man while panting slightly. "Is this a dream?"

Because nothing about it made sense.

"It better be, Rayner."

He stared at the green-blue eyes, darkened with something. That darkness being lust or confusion, he couldn't quite detect it either. He looked at Jason's full lips, parted, shining with saliva, he watched as Jason's tongue trailed on its plumpness. Kyle bit his own lips at that delicious sight.

But . . . . it didn't make sense. He was Jason. _Jason Todd_ , and he . . . . no way in a million galaxies. He__

Lips were connected again. Open mouths just moved together in a sloppy kiss. Harsh breaths were blown to each other's cheeks. Jason pulled him closer till their hips were touching, rocking to get a friction. He could feel Jason's hipbone against his, grinding their cocks together.

In the back of his mind, he knew it didn't make sense . . . . but, it felt _right_. How could this feel so good and be wrong?

 _What are you doing? What's happening? What the fuck, Jason?_ All those questions were unsaid when he was actually put in the situation. That was how it went in the movies, that was how he was supposed to react. But, nobody said it was going to be that hard to resist the temptation. No one has ever been good at showing how much _will_ it required to part from the sin before him.

Kyle was one of the will-iest men in the universe, but even he was weak at the sight of Jason. He could push away, but . . . . he didn't want to. He wanted to give in, to surround himself to that man, to that desire, to that familiarity.

His body shivered with excitement at that thought.

How long has it been? How long has it been since he's been kissed, wanted, for himself, for his touches, for anything from _him?_ The scar Soranik had flared on his heart ached. He knew he was only imaging the pain, but the hurt was visible, _right there,_ on his broken heart.

Jason used his distraction to push him toward the bed. He sat on his elbows and watched as Jason dropped the white towel around his waist on the floor. Kyle was . . . . to say amazed was one word to describe how he felt, but . . . . it was one thing to see Jason half naked, but fully nude? God, he wanted to capture that scene on a paper.

It sent bolts of arousal down to his dick.

Art was his desire, his passion. But never ever did he think it'd be a turn on for him. Because when he thought about Jason, laying on the bed, showing off that God-like body, and posing for him to draw . . . . the thought that what his pensile could do with a picture like Jason . . . . 

Shit, it was _HOT._

Jason leaned forward and slowly hit the back of his fingers to his cheeks. It brought him back to reality. Jason, he was frowning at him. He seemed to . . . . oh, he was standing completely naked before him, and . . . . _right_ , Kyle needed to undress now.

He shut off his ring and was immediately left in his normal clothes. Jason's weight was dropped on top of him, and pushed him on his back. Lips found each other again. He hooked an arm over Jason's neck to pull him flush against his chest, a hard and warm press on top of him. He wished he had stripped off of his clothes, so he could feel all of Jason against him. The aforesaid man's torso was clean, cold, solid . . . . he hummed to the kiss, but didn't dare to break it, even for that extra touch.

They started grinding their hips together, creating that hardness in their members when they rubbed them together. Jason's hand slide underneath his shirt to roam his chest. That earned a moan out of Kyle when his nails brushed against his sensitive skin. Jason drew back from the kiss and stared at him with twisted eyebrows.

 _What?_ . . . . He tried to ask. Maybe he did ask? Could he even hear anything other than the sound of his heartbeat, ringing in his ears?

Jason didn't say anything, he sat on his knees to unbuckle Kyle's pants, and brought his dick out. He quivered slightly when his sensitive skin was exposed. He looked down between their bodies. The difference in size was easily comparable with the difference in them. Jason was taller and thicker than him. So was his cock.

He gave an unintentional lick on his lips. He watched as Jason's hand griped his dick, and gave a hard tug at it.

"Shit." He hissed at the friction.

"Want me to stop?" He rasped above him.

No. No, he didn't. But he only managed to shake his head.

Jason gave him a few jerks. Kyle's head hit the pillow underneath him, he closed his eyes to savor the feeling. It's been too long. _Too long_ away from home, from a glimpse of something utterly earthy in a promiscuity way. Too long since he allowed himself to be loosed, irresponsible, blinded, ignorance. All before he became a Green Lantern, all before he lost Alex, all before he lost Guy . . . . 

He groaned, squeezed his eyes harder to push the tears back. He reached a hand between them to help Jason finishing them up sooner. That was what he needed. He needed to get off from those thoughts, from worrying over the universe, from the ache in his heart. Just . . . for a few moments . . . . just a single night . . . he . . . 

Jason nosed at his neck, right where his hair ended near the nape, and bit the spot under his ears, sucked the flesh between his teeth, and drew a low whimper from him. He wiggled against Jason, his hair smelled fresh, like his own shampoo, its wet strings brushed underneath his chin. The said man put his lips on his again. They kissed and kissed for what felt like forever.

Jason was quick to bring Kyle's attention right back to him. Like he could sense how Kyle's mind was constantly battling with him.

Deep in his mind, which was fogged by the sheer attention and pleasure Jason was setting for them, he knew he was flushing, he knew he was making embarrassing noises. But . . . . there was something, between their heated bodies, surrounding his head, in the invisible ache of the scar on his heart, that _something_ , it told him that it was okay. It assured him that Jason understood . . . . he would . . . who else but him?

The room was filled with the voices of their wet lips, harsh breaths through their noses, groans, and that small noise of their hands moving together. Jason tried to pull back from the kiss, but Kyle chased to revel in the feeling of their intimacy, to keep that connection for as long as possible.

Only when he came did he draw back to gasp in a breath, grip Jason's arms and shot a white line on the said man's abs.

He watched Jason to follow after him with a few more jerks, eyes closed, mouth parted to pant slowly, eyebrows knitted together, and a groan escaped his lips. Even in his post-orgasm state, Kyle wanted to capture that moment in his sketchbook.

So genuine, so vulnerable and so . . . . _hurt._

Jason dropped on the bed beside him, took a few moments to adjust and then sat up to clean his torso with the towel he grabbed from the floor. Jason threw it back somewhere on the ground, pulled the sheets from under him over his body and went to sleep without saying a single word.

That silent just made him more aware of the sticky coms on his pants, and half exposed abs. He slipped off of the bed to head for the shower. The folded clothes he put for Jason to wear were rumbled under their feet.

Guy's clothes . . . .

He closed the bathroom door, stripped and jumped in the shower. On Oa, hot water never ran out, it had to supply all those Lanterns at some point, so water was always hot. He put his forearm on the wall, and rested his forehead on it, let the warm spray wash over his back, and run down to his legs.

He thought about what he did, about what happened between them, about how he could've stopped it, about how wrong it was on so many levels. For one, they seemed to have a hostile cloud surrounding them, and he couldn't grasp the idea just _why?_   Sure, they were two mature young men, if they wanted to screw around, none of those stuff mattered. But, they weren't just two young men, they were the trainer and the trainee. That was not how it went in educational systems, even in an intergalactic one.

Were they just going to pretend it never happened and go back to bickering in the morning, or . . . . _Or what?_   Jason was going to use it to manipulate Kyle into breaking the law? They were going to keep fooling around? Should he have shrunk from being Jason's trainer?

 _"You think too much, Rayner."_ He could hear Guy's voice on the back of his head.

His throat throbbed, it was filled with a new kind of sorrow.

Guy . . . .

Maybe that was the problem there. He thought about Guy when he was with Jason.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOW, you get the unrequited love.


	15. Chapter 15

He wasn't surprised to wake up in yet, another new environment. He slept in a comfortable mattress, with warm and soft sheets, a washed body, and a light head. The shower, the tension release, the good night sleep, they all helped to put his mind at ease. He certainly slept better than the last few nights ago.

He slipped out of the sheets, and gazed at the room. It was exactly the same he last remembered, but with the difference that sun was brightening up the whole room in a disgusting way he wasn't used to. A white towel was on the floor, clothes which weren't his, at the end of the bed, were left shriveled. He grabbed them and headed toward the bathroom, and took a quick shower. God knew when he'd have another chance at privacy like that, so he was determined to use it. He just wished there was a toothpaste and an extra brush or something__."

A voice in his head told him he could find them in the mirror-shelve on the wall. He gave a skeptical look at his ring, but listened to that voice anyway. And yes, he found two toothbrushes and a used toothpaste with apple scene there. He wondered if it was safe for him to use it since everything in that planet was, well, alien. That voice in his head answered affirmative.

Alright, now he recognized that computer voice of his ring. But, he didn't know it was able to establish telepathy with its wearer.

"So, uh . . . Ring, which Brush is Kyle's?"

_"The blue toothbrush is Lantern Rayner's."_

"Oh, so you _do_ talk. Why didn't you do it before?"

 _"Systems were unable to function properly. Impurity of fear was detected."_ The ring glowed.

He glared at his ring. He didn't need a stupid jewelry to tell him he was afraid. He wasn't scared of shit. He was able to defeat scarecrow's fear toxin. That was the whole reason why he was chosen to wield a Green Lantern ring in the first place.

He scowled at the ring. It was on the wrong hand, giving him wrong shits, and . . . it was _wrong_.

He picked up the red toothbrush and brushed his teeth with a little unnecessary roughness. He fetch the velvet box from his jacket, which contained the _right_ ring for the right hand, just to make sure it was _there_ , and put on the new set of clothes Kyle had left for him. It was a simple blue T-shirt with a burger logo on it, and a pair of dark jeans. He didn't forget to wear his jacket over it. He hadn't taken that planet's freezing weather at nights for granted.

When he left the room, the surrounding was quite different again. He thought he was going to have trouble finding his way toward the mess hall, but to his surprise, his ring guided him out of that place and exactly to his final destination.

Walking in that place, Oa, it felt like strolling along the future. That planet gave him a sense of Earth. Skyscrapers, advanced subways, aliens flying around, talking in a language he understood, even though it seemed impossible, even though it sounded wrong to his ears. It actually hit close to home. On one side, he saw a large open ground, with green carpet, which looked suspiciously like real grass. It simulated a park, only a couple of benches were missing from the picture. There were trees and various plant lives, his ring even told him there were oceans with blue waters there. And the urban part, filled with tall weird shaped buildings, all in metallic appearances, it represented city life.

He found Kyle outside the mess hall, leaning against the wall, having his arms folded over his chest, and gazing ahead of him, seemingly lost in deep thoughts. Jason rolled his eyes. He just hoped whatever it was, it wouldn't have anything to do with what they did prior to that day. He knew Kyle never came to sleep in that room afterwards to even want to leave early in the morning.

He needed it, Kyle wanted it too, and that was _it._ Nothing to linger about. Especially since Jason recently had been aware of an exceptional relationship with the former Lantern and Kyle. Guy, he had feelings for Rayner other than a pure innocent friendship. And noting Kyle's off behavior whenever Guy was brought up, he could sense a hidden admiration there too.

When Kyle saw him approaching, he took a moment to just stare at him. Jason noted that it was _not_ directed toward his face. Kyle was seizing him up in his new attire. Last night was good, but not as good to leave that kind of impression on the Lantern. It must've been the dress . . . . 

He just came to realization about what he was wearing. It was _Guy's_ clothes. He should've known Kyle's size wouldn't fit him . . . . It just _had_ to be Guy's clothes. Not that he had a problem with it, but still, a _deadman's_ clothes! Dammit, the universe had a sense of humor when it came to messing with him.

It hit on all the right places.

Rayner straightened up and dismissed his stare. "I suggest picking up something light for breakfast. We're going to fly today."

_What, no hellos?_

He didn't have the chance to say that as his stomach made a hungry sound at the mention of food. It's been quite a good few hours since the last time he fed actual foods to his system, not just the crap injection they poured in his blood.

He grabbed a tray and went in the line with the rest of the Lanterns. This time around, his ring started talking in his head again, telling him which food was edible for him, which would poison him, and which alien meals tasted close to Earthy foods. Maybe the pink alien's harsh methods to motivate him weren't so wrong. His ring actually started working then.

They sat on the same table they sat the last time.

"So, we're just gonna pretend yesterday never happened?"

Rayner didn't give him the satisfactory of being startled like Jason imagined he would.  He simply shrugged his shoulders and replied. "I mean, you pretty much seem like the type to do just that."

Jason kept that irritated part of him, which knew Kyle wasn't so wrong after all in some cases, at bay. He bit the inside of his cheeks and said. "You realize I was talking about the incident with the ring, right?"

_Wait for it._

"Oh, I know. That's why I figured you wouldn't want to talk about it. _You,_ fighting Kilowog, was just as embarrassing as it was badass."

He narrowed his eyes at the Lantern. Kyle was playing Jason's own card against him. "Well, _you_ backing off and letting others do your job, made you just as much a jerk as it made you a pussy."

"I would've been doing my _job_ if you were a bit cooperative. You just . . . ." He made a hand gesture. "do whatever the hell you want."

Jason just realized it. That conversation hasn't been about the ring incident since the beginning.

"I dunno, maybe I thought the great will-er could stop me if he wanted to. But he's a coward, who's afraid to even face me afterwards." He grunted. "It's gotta be Hal fucking Jordan, who takes me to medic."

"Well, for your information, I was the one who stayed awake all night when you were having the dream of your life. _I_ stayed there to watch over you."

"Creep. You just _had_ to make it harder."

 _"You_ didn't exactly make it easier for either of us."

He leaned back against the metallic chair and crossed his arms before his chest. "You can quit any time you want." A pause. "I'm sure Hal would be a great mentor."

Rayner pinched the bridge of his nose and huffed out of frustration. "Look, I was tasked to help you. And I'm _willing_ to help you, 'cause I'm a will-y person like that." He folded his arms on the table. _"But,_ if I sense that it's impacting the efficiently of your training, then I'd make sure you regret not giving up your ring when you had the chance."

"Oh, look at the goosebumps." He brought his hand up and shook it before Kyle. "You're a natural, Rayner."

This time Kyle actually rolled his eyes. "The sarcasm, Jason? Really?"

He gave a shrug. "It wasn't a sarcasm."

He wasn't sure whether the Lantern got his message or not, but he thought Kyle was a natural kisser. It wasn't something he'd expect a space policeman to be good at, but . . . it was good and . . . . 

Kyle bit his bottom lip, and the meat left his teeth redden. Jason's stare lingered there for a bit, but then it was brought back to his eyes. It was a bright green, not manic like Talia's Lazarus green, or childish like Damian's innocent gaze, nor the Lantern's Corps' justice green. It was Kyle's and just as exclusive as the man himself.

"So, uh . . . . " He started when Kyle didn't respond to him. "Were you serious about not quitting, you know, _this_ . . . . " Another pause. "Training thing?"

Jason started tapping his foot under the table.

"No, I . . . " He moved the plate, containing eggs and bacon, back and forth with his finger. "I'll help. But at some point, it needs to stop . . . . I mean, other Lanterns will wanna train with you, and . . . . "He licked his lips nervously, and peeked a glance at Jason.

He leaned forward and folded his arms on the table as well. "That was the deal since it started."

Kyle nodded his head, and his hand found its way toward his chest, where his heart was supposed to be, and rubbed slowly on the spot. He seemed to be doing that unwittingly.

Jason remembered roaming his hand all over that chest, and picking up something out of place in that heat of pleasure. He could feel a rough raised mark on Kyle's skin, like an old welt. He had enough scars on his won body to be able to sense an old wound. But he didn't ask, and Kyle's confused expression was reason enough for him to kill off his curiosity. Rayner wasn't blind either, he must have noticed Jason's ugly scars, but he didn't show any interests in them. Why should've Jason?

"I . . . ." Kyle looked sheepishly down on his own tray of breakfast. "I'm cool with this, whatever this is, I . . . I don't wanna label it." His hands dropped on his lap. "I guess what I'm trying to say here is . . . I don't know what you've been through, but . . . "

Jason raised an impatient eyebrow at him.

"I just want you to know, I . . . if you ever wanted to talk about it, I'll . . . I'll be there for you."

He sucked in a breath and inhaled it out.

He was just _tired._

He was tired of getting angry that quick, of reading too much to stuff, of that understanding shit people gave him. He was tired, and he just wanted to forget. He was done. Even in millions years of light, he couldn't escape from that ugly reality.

He was trying, he genuinely was. He guessed that without Dick, no one else could see his efforts anymore. He was trying, and it was hard, it hurt. He just had to bury those pains deep in his chest and hope it'd go away one day. He was on his own now, not even Batman, not even his friends, no one was there for him. He came to peace with that thought, he was trying. He was just . . . .

_Tired._

He didn't want to lash out on Kyle for offering his sincere peace, and make a fool _and_ asshole out of himself in front a bunch of aliens, who didn't know shit about him and his demons, and would judge him from the biker jacket he was wearing, not what was inside its pocket, nor himself. To their eyes, he was different, out of place, scandalous, and it hadn't even been a single week.

He was _done._

He wasn't new to starting over. He chose a wrong method to deal with his complications, but his ring chose an alter way.

He was there, his ring worked and Kyle was there too. He didn't need anything further than that.

"Jason . . . ."

He seemed to be dazing off on him. He glanced at the Lantern's waiting eyes.

But he quickly dismissed it and took a bit from the toast on his plate. "Thanks for the consideration, but . . . I'm good."

"But_."

"It's no big deal. Nothing I haven't dealt before."

Jesus, alien food tasted _good._ Maybe it was just starving stomach arguing with him, but damn, he hadn't eaten a buttery toast _that_ delicious in his entire _life._ And he used to live in the Wayne manor with Alfred.

"You know, I really would've eaten slower if I were you."

He took a sip from his coffee. "What . . . do you take me for? I jump from skyscrapers everyday. Hell, I've fought on a speeding _train."_

Kyle grinned. "Well, you've never flown with a Lantern ring. It'd be like . . . riding a roller coaster without safety protection, or . . . literally anything at all."

He grinned back. "Well, now you're talking."


	16. Chapter 16

"Ring, can you, uh . . .  repeat yourself again?" Simon asked, looking aghast at the scene before him.

_"Alert code, six zero three. Unlawful execution."_

Unlawful execution? More like . . . . Barbaric butchering.

He couldn't look away from that poor alien, who's been ravaged from inside-out, and left hanging in the wall, with flies whirring around his corpse. His guts and blood were all over the floor, and that place smelled like _shit_ _._ He was about to__.

Jessica turned away and started gagging. Oh, there she went again, giving the exact anxious reaction he was going to have.

"Jess, get a__ Oh, God."

Breathing in that savage murder scene proved to be a mistake. He barely controlled himself from puking his dinner out. That place smelled of blood, turd, and . . . . Jesus, it smelled like _death._

Jessica flew out of there. _Good idea partner._ For once, he gladly followed her anxiety instincts and left that godforsaken place.

Outside in the open area, he finally inhaled the breath he was holding. When their suits provided them with the ability to breath in every planet, he was hoping it'd have a scent filter in these gross cases. Of course, in their line of work, they both had seen much worse, some more than the other, but still . . . . 

A shitty smell was still a shitty smell no matter how many times you've encountered it.

"We should've brought him with us." Jessica muttered with her head bowed down and her hands put on her knees.

He blew a breath out. "It's not his problem."

She brought her head up to glare at him. "Of course it is! That's a damn savagery." She straightened her back and put her hands on her hips. "We should've brought Batman with us."

"No, we shouldn't have! Did you see those spikes? That dude was being hung with Red Lantern spikes. This is a Lantern thing."

"Then it's freaking _huge_ if Atrocitus is involved."

"Jessica, what're you scared of? We'll contact the Justice League if things went south."

 _"Batman's_ THE LEAGUE!"

"But here's not _Gotham_." He shouted. "It's _Earth_. It's _our_ sector to protect. It's Lantern's duty, _Our job._ Not a detective in a Bat suit."

Maybe he shouldn't have forgotten who he was talking to, maybe he shouldn't have raised his voice like that, maybe he was regretting yelling at a girl with anxiety problem, maybe he should've known it'd just be making her anxious mind more edgy.

Maybe.

But then maybe she shouldn't have doubted herself, maybe she shouldn't have believed in every threat, maybe she shouldn't have given up to Batman's request that easily, maybe she should've remembered who she was.

A damn Green Lantern.

So, maybe not after all.

"But, he . . . . it's a crime scene." She obviously was starting to show her growing concern. "And he's the world's greatest__."

"Ring, analyze the crime scene." He cut her short for the favor of ordering his ring, and brought his fist up toward the direction of the abandoned house. His ring radiated a scanning light over the house.

_"Analyze complete. Unlawful execution detected. Subject DNA test reveals victim Loide from planet Betrassus. The execution includes the slaughter of multiple vital organs, missing essential DNA component, encompassing teeth, hair and a large scale of blood. Time of the murder, unknown. The executer identified, Bleez from the Red Lantern Corpse."_

He turned to give her a _I told you so_ look. Jessica had her arms crossed before her, scowling at a spot on the ground, almost like she was pouting. _That stubborn girl._ Sometimes, she could be _very_ headstrong when she wanted to. At times like that, he could see why the ring would've chosen her.

"Ring, scan for Lantern Bleez." He commanded his ring, and then turned to face Jessica. "You think Batman could've given us that information in five seconds? You think Batman in a spacesuit could've fought with a bunch of aliens driven by _rage?"_

 _"Yes!_ Because he's _Batman_." She turned her angry tone toward him. "Because he's fought worse. Because he's not afraid of _Green Lanterns._ You think he'd flinch facing Bleez?"

"My money's on Bleez. How much are we betting?"

She groaned out of frustration and rolled her eyes. "God, you're hopeless."

"Oh, yeah?" He frowned. "Then why don't you leave and take Batman to Oa as you promised the man, huh?"

"Because you're supposed to be my _partner,_ and I'd _never_ leave you for _anyone."_   She said through a throbbing throat, like . . . . Like she was about to . . . .

He watched as her eyebrows twisted to knit together, her lips shook a bit as if trying to say something, but nothing came. She spun around on her heels and stood floating in the air, with her back toward him.

He didn't dare to say anything. He couldn't think of her as something fragile or breakable just because he's seen her in a vulnerable situation. A wave of guilt hit him hard in the face. Jessica was just trying to . . . . She was just reacting poorly regarding the circumstances. He _really_ shouldn't have shouted at her.

"Jess, hey. I'm sorry__."

She hugged her arm with one hand and put the other on her face, seeming to clean her tears__.

Fuck.

Oh, man. Now he was feeling like a jerk for making her cry. The scene they've seen prior, wasn't even close to the sever mass murder scenes that ordinary cops dealt with, because they were intergalactic cops. A regular guy would've lost their shits before something so brutal like that. And it didn't help that they were threatened to get kicked out of their own sector by the freaking Batman himself before that, and left the said man behind to take care of their job first. Because they had priorities, thank you very much. They weren't Batman's personal space taxies.

But Jessica, she was combating with the worst monster in her life. Anxiety. _Fear is just a thought, and you're not your thoughts._ He knew she was repeating those words in her head. Her ring was probably talking to her in her head, too, saying she didn't have to won them.

He sucked in a breath and exhaled the air slowly. Maybe he should've just done that, too. He had to remind himself she was just doing what she thought was best.

"Jessica, what do you worry about?" He approached her. "We've fought with Red Lanterns before. I thought you'd never forget that." He tried to lower his voice as much as possible. "Remember when I was saying their names and you just went ahead and called them what you wanted?" He put a hand on her shoulder. "What did you call one of them? Potato face?" Her shoulder shook a bit, indicating she was chuckling lightly.

She turned around to stare at him, and a faint smile was indeed on her lips. "Don't you remember how you kicked their asses?" He continued. "Because I do. When Atrocitus broke my hand, you made that giant _thing_ and ruined their hell house. You were in all Wreck it Ralph mode."

She look aside and bit her lips trying to hide her smile. He went on. "It was your first construct."

She nodded her head, still biting her lips.

"You remember what I said?" He asked.

" . . . . You said it was beautiful." Her voice sounded small.

"That's right." He gave an assuring squeeze to her shoulder. "And it still is."

She peeked a glance at him. Her eyes were red, there was tears gathering there, but there was no trace of them on her face. She was stronger than that, she knew anxiety and she knew how to keep it at bay. _That stubborn girl._

"So, let's use that beautiful willpower of yours and fight some bad guys."

"I . . . " She looked aside again. "It's just that I think . . . . maybe we shouldn't have ditched Batman like that. I mean, I get why you were pissed at him, I really do, but . . . . I don't know." Her chocolate eyes stared at him through the little lantern shaped light on her eye. "It's the matter of his son."

"Screw Batman. That guy was never much of a fan of Green Lanterns before, and now he's suddenly so interested in us just because his son got a ring?"

"But he said he's a wanted criminal."

"Jess, do you _seriously_ believe Batman's son is a criminal? I mean, _How's_ that even possible? It'd be like telling a space cop aliens don't exist."

"Hal told me Sinestro was his mentor once."

"I . . . that . . . ." _That's actually a good point._

"Well, it still doesn't matter. I was a thief, too. I was a criminal when the ring chose me, too." He only stole cars, but his ring found him in prison, so.

"Batman doesn't bother to travel thousand years of light to chase a _thief,_ Simon."

 _Another good point again._ Since when Jessica became the logical Lantern around?

"The ring chose him." She scoffed. "What does that even mean? _How_ does it choose its wearer? Can we really trust what the ring knows?" She made a hand gesture toward them. "Are we Green Lanterns because the _ring_ says so? Just because Hal says we deserve it? Is that supposed to make us heroes?"

"The ring picked us__."

"But do we really know _how_ they do that? Would we've agreed if we _knew_ how? _Or_ , are we just going along with it just because they told us to?"

Silence. All he could do was to stare at her.

"Simon! Don't leave me hanging here!"

"I . . . . " He rasped the words out. "I know what you're trying to say, but . . . ."

_I'm afraid to admit we're just pretending to know how this works._

He sighed. "But all I know, is that if that boy can't be chosen to wear a ring, if that boy's not allowed a second chance to be better, then . . . ." He looked at his hand, where his ring sat glowing bright. "Then I shouldn't be a Green Lantern, either."

"Simon . . . . That's not_ I . . . " Jessica looked lost for words. She mumbled. "I can't believe I'm saying this . . . I mean, I thought I'd hear it from _you_ , but . . . ." She took a deep breath. "Oh, well. Here goes nothing . . ."

She shouted. "TO HELL WITH BATMAN."

He stared in wide shock at her. Was his ears hearing right? Did she just say__.

"To hell with that control jerk. I . . . I only agreed to take him there to see his son, because, well . . . He's scary! I know he has a plan on how to take Superman down when it comes to it, and . . . . Superman's his _friend!_ I don't wanna be on his list of _'Watch an eye on'_ . He's creepy as it is already. I . . . "

She pushed a hand through her brown hair. "Simon, I know we argue, like, a lot, but before any of those stuff, we're _partners_. Before Batman became my boss, I was a Green Lantern. I swore an oath to the universe. This." She brought her fist, containing her ring, up. "You, all these space things, they come on top.

"I promised I'd take him to see the newbie, and . . . I'll have to do it for the sake of us than anything. But if he tries to take the new guy's ring off, and take him back here just so he could lock him up, or I don't know, punish him or something. Then I'm going to stand up for the new guy. I _won't_ let him__."

 _"Disturbance located. 188.3 meters to south."_   His ring glowed. 

"Looks like we found our red rage. And she's close by."

"Oh . . . yeah, right. Let's go then." She was about to fly away, but he grabbed her wrist to stop her.

"Hey, Jess. Did you . . . . did you really mean it? About the . . . you know, not letting Batman take away his ring?"

She stared at him for a good one minute, sending a telepath message via her eyes. "Yes." _I'd never let him kick us out of here._

He smiled at her. That was all he needed to hear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Sorry for the late update.  
> I just wanted to write this note to sympathize with all my Batman readers. Do you see what they're doing with him???  
> Like, first Tim went for college(Technically not a bad thing, but he left Bruce anyway) Then Selina bumped him, then Jason went savage like the effects of the Lazarus pit was just a mean joke and being brutal has always been Jason's intention. An then Damian starts to distance himself from him to hide criminals and literally do what his father would've disapproved with. And if it wasn't enough, they had to shoot Dick in the head and erase his memories. I mean, seriously???  
> Just make Alfred a Supervillain and be done with it already!! :( Are they trying to torture Batman until he snaps?  
> What do you guys think of the approach rebirth is taking on the Batfam?


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I've noted before, I wrote this story way before RHATO #25, or Nightwing #50, or that issue of Batman where Dick was shot. Not trying to make a point that yeah DC got all my ideas. Just saying I wasn't trying to cop cat the recent events in the comics. Initially, my plan was to finish the fic first and then publish it, but the comics are on-going. So, I needed to put it out before they kept spoiling my fic any furthers. LOL XD  
> So, sorry if it annoys anyone. . . .

Thomas, Martha, Jason, Tim, Damian, Clark, even Alfred at some point had left him.

And now . . . . 

It was Dick's turn.

He pushed his hands in the pocket of his black coat.

Black, like the dark hue of the sky. Black, like the mournful dirt under his shoes. Black, like the dim shadow over Dick's grave.

Black, like the hole in his chest.

He whispered their names in the depth of his head again. Counted their growing number.

Thomas, Martha, Jason, Tim, Damian, Clark, Alfred.

Death saw him, she smelled grief within the sheer of the Bat mask he wore to conceal himself beneath. She sought his scent, chased it like a hunter, had imprinted herself on his soul.

Death saw him, she took a liking in him, and she followed him around.

His family, his friends, Gotham's victims, all the misguided villains.

Wherever he went, he brought death with himself.

No one around him was going to stay alive forever. He had embraced that bitterness since the night his parents were shot. He learned to accept death as part of life. He saw it coming, but, then . . . . 

He still couldn't see _that_ coming.

Not _ever._

Everyone left. Thomas, Martha, Jason, Tim, Damian. But not _him._

He never saw this coming. He never _could._

Out of all the people . . . . He never could've imagined the day would come, where he'd be standing before Dick's grave.

He thought he'd die and never see that day come. Dick was the one who was supposed to be standing there, looking down at _his_ grave. Not the other way around. Not Bruce.

Dick.

His son . . . . 

He once had been in that situation, where he stood before Dick's grave. He peered at the doleful expressions of the people around Dick's coffin. Perhaps it was guilt he was feeling then, perhaps it was the pity he was sensing toward them, maybe it was even void, but it was the assurance of his son being alive somewhere out there, that gave him the courage to bear with the funeral. It was the promise that Dick was fine, still breathing, _alive,_ beating with energy and animation, and it was that knowledge that got him to bear with the fake funeral.

But now?

It was just the two of them. That faith had been spoiled, burned, _dead._ And along with it, Dick was gone too.

_Everyone . . . .  
_

He had looked at their gravestones.

He was merely a kid when his parents were buried. The remorse was strong enough to make him end his own life to join them. That anguish opened his eyes to the world, to the darkness within, to that window of Justice.

Jason's death was his greatest failure. He _failed._ What was the evilest thing to do to an orphan? Give him hope for a better life, a purpose, the treasure of knowledge, love, family. And then in a blink of an eye, let it _all_ be taken away from him. Strip him from his dreams, his beliefs, his hero, his life, and fail to save him. Be tardy. Wait for his ghost to come hunting your whole life, so that it could be a lesson for you to _never_ fail.

When Clark went, Bruce's impression of the world went missing with it. What was a world without hope? Without a savior? Without a God? Without Superman? He had to dig his way out of the weight of nightmares of the world to understand the answer to his questions.

Before Damian, he thought he already had worked himself beyond his limits. But after Damian's death, he realized he hadn't even broken a sweat. Damian drove him to break the red lines, cross the walls of exceed, he found out he had a long path ahead of him. He gladly walked that road to get to his son, he'd do it a thousand times over, because now he knew he could.

Tim, that brilliant kid. He was born to do great wonders in the world, he was destined to make a change in the world. And he tried his best, even till his last breath, he fought for the good deed. He was going to be in a good place, of that Bruce had no doubt, but then when he found out about a university application, he turned into a selfish man. He didn't care if Tim was in a better place, he didn't care if he deserved that peace, he wanted Tim to be _there_ and live his life. He thought about the future Tim would have, and for once in his life, he craved something more than Justice.

Alfred's death familiarized him with fear. Shook his body to his core, froze his blood till it s last drop. It taught him how to confront fear, it made him overcome those demons, it built a better man out of him.

But, Dick . . . . 

He didn't want the moral message it'd bring.

He felt like dying, he failed, he was drained out of hope, he had no more boundaries to cross anymore, he didn't dare to think over the upcoming future, he was scared and he couldn't overcome it.

Even if the whole world turned to hell, he knew there always would be a Nightwing by his side. Even if he was drowning in the gloomy alleys of Gotham, he could always count on a Dick Grayson to cheer him up. Even if the only woman he truly loved bumped him on his wedding day,  he was sure he'd have a son to be with him forever without a promise.

And would put his head on his father's shoulder and tell him. _"It's all gonna be alright, Bruce."_

How long has it been since he last heard that voice calling his name?

Too long . . . . Too damn long . . . . 

"Chum, I . . . " He cleared his voice, it sounded rough from not speaking for quite long. He sighed and started. "I never told you, but . . . . I chose Clark as my best man, because I didn't want to create a conflict with my family. It . . . ."

What the hell was he saying?

"But of course, you already knew that. You've always been good at this kind of matters . . . . "

The whistle of the wind was the only sound he got in response.

"But, you _know_ it would've been you, right? Like . . . ." He shifted on his feet. It felt . . . . strange. It was like Dick was sitting there before him and smirking at how awkward he sounded, but keeping quiet to give credit for his effort.

"You were my partner, my first _real_ partner. To believe in me, and my cause with a childish attitude, and commit yourself to that oath, to dedicate your youth energy over it, to devote your heart wide enough to place all the people in the world in it."

He could see the playful eye roll. _"I bet you say that to all your girlfriends."_ But he heard the humor in Dick's voice, he saw the small smile shaping on his blithe lips.

"You weren't just Robin for Batman, you were Richard for Bruce. You . . . . you were my friend."

Dick gave him a genuine smile, he was probably thinking about the same thing as Bruce was. About the memories of a little Richard, newly arrived in the manor, being frightened by its massive magnitude. Doubtful, skeptical, guarded, afraid, despite all that, Dick collected his composure around him.

He remembered the night Dick stood on his doorframe, bit his lips and kept staring at him till his alarm instincts kicked in and woke him up, only to find a small kid eying him with plea. The same night Dick crawled up on his bed to sleep the nightmares away with him there. He started talking, opening his heart out, getting comfortable around Bruce.

Bruce felt scared more than the kid. He was new to that aspect of life, and frankly, he knew he couldn't exactly perform as a good example of a father, either. So he listened and let Dick find the comfort he was seeking in his own way, and the kid seemed to always elicit that calm from him, even without him noticing.

It was actually when Dick left him, where he realized he seemed to absorb the same Joviality from him without being aware if, too.

"Dick, I . . . . Was I a good . . . Did you . . . " He gulped and gritted his teeth slightly when cold breeze brushed against his face. "I was a good father . . . wasn't I . . . ?"

Dick's smile hadn't changed. He rocked himself slowly while still sitting. _"The best."_

He sounded so sure, so . . . sincere.

"I . . . I wish you were here, chum." He sucked in a breath, which burned his throat. "Jason, he . . . . He's gone out of control again. He killed a man. Again . . . . " He exhaled that painful sigh, and watched its fog form before him.

"You always knew how to keep him in line. You were so good at it. We didn't realize just _how good,_ until you weren't there anymore."

Dick bit his lip and ducked his head down to hide his smile. He sneaked a peek up at him, his eyes sparkled with mischief, as if saying _'You're flattering me.'_

"Without you, he lost it. He's out there in the space, being trained to be a Green Lantern. But I know better. He's just trying to run away. He's just escaping__."

_Me._

"He needs you, and I . . . ."

_I need you, too._

Despite the thick coat he was wearing, he felt cold, he felt like freezing. He had swum in an ice pool, what was wrong with him? It wasn't even that cold that night.

Dick's smile slowly faded away. He ceased at once. _"Bruce . . . ."_ His voice had a hint of worry, or . . . maybe he was just imagining it all. Because that was what his mind kept showing him. Because that was what calmed him. Because that was what he wanted to see.

He missed him . . . . 

His son . . . . 

_His_ _son . . . ._

He was gone, and there was no way of bringing him back.

He was dead . . . . Easy like that . . . . Burned alive.

A hero.

His Robin. His partner. His friend. His successor. His pride and joy.

Always there for Bruce. In sad and lonely nights. In happy and earnest days. Even in quiet little moments.

His son . . . .

Where was Bruce when his son needed him? Where was he when his children edged close to their deaths? Where was he to sacrifice himself for his friend? Why couldn't he sheathe his sword and prevented killing Alfred? Why did he leave Jason to drown in his own darkness? How could he allow any of those stuff to happen?

He was the goddamn _Batman!_ Wasn't that why they kept him around? Wasn't that why everyone obeyed him? Listened to him? Trusted him?

And what for? He couldn't even save himself from _himself._ He was stuck with his own fears, regrets, demons. He was chained by his past . . . .

. . . . . by his mistakes . . . by . . . his . . . regrets . . . . 

He couldn't tear his eyes away. He remembered burring all his children in that graveyard, next to his parents.

Jason, Damian, Tim . . . . and now.

He fell on his knees and shouted.

Shouted, because he hasn't forgiven his past. He couldn't forget the present. He didn't want to move on in the future.

He fucking lost _his son._

And he wouldn't come back this time . . . .

Ever.

Only when the cold breeze brushed against his cheeks did he realize that by then, he had started crying.

Crying since what felt like a life time ago. The time he had his son with him to make sure he'd never break like that.

That only made shout even louder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grief is a bitch, and I'm sorry :(


	18. Chapter 18

Kyle still remembered the first time he flew. How could he not?

Before he became a space cop, he was the sheer example of an ordinary guy, watching superheroes fly in the sky, jump from the rooftops, and run before his eyes in a blur of lightening. A normal life, where he had to worry about paying the bills, struggle to sell his sketch editions, and deal with socializing. The first time he met Ganthet and was given a power ring, he thought his life was only going to get more complicated.

But here he was now. An intergalactic policeman, an honor guard, the first to have ever wield the white ring of life, the first to establish a bond with the entity of will, Ion. And at the moment, a teacher.

Every time he watched a Lantern try to know the ropes, build a construct, learn how to fly, he'd be met with the rookie Kyle Rayner, who was trying to get the hang of his powers, soley with the help of his girlfriend. And he'd be reminded over and over where he rose to be the hero he was then.

Superman wasn't a God anymore. Batman didn't seem so cool anymore. Wonder Woman wasn't a myth any longer. They were his colleagues, and _he_ was a hero among those ordinary people like himself.

He took pride in knowing that. He knew his mother would, too.

He flew out of Mogo's atmosphere into the dark space, and sneaked a glance at his back to see Jason at his trace. Jason's teeth were on display in what could be described as an exultation smile. His eyes were sparkling with jubilance of victory, the thrill of power, that _good feeling_ of flying for the first time.

Kyle's heart was kicking with felicity. He remembered the first time he flew, too. An invisible string suddenly scoped him off of the ground, left him floating in the middle of the air, at least a hundred feet up from surface, feeling like a ball, who's been kicked in the sky. It was so baffling, he expected to fall on his ass any second, he was abruptly emptied from beneath. But then his ring started talking and structured him with what to do. He soon overcame that panic attack, opened his arms before him, and let his will take him forward.

It felt good. He's only ever seen heroes fly, but right then, he got to experience how it felt, and it was _awesome!_ Cold breeze slapped his face like sharp glacial blocks, but he didn't care. He just wanted to go up and up, fast and faster, and _faster._ He even puked the first time he flew in the space with transluminal speed that enabled the Lanterns to travel faster than the pace of light.

He looked at Jason and saw the same excitement of that young Kyle, an ordinary freelance artist, who got to fly for the first time purely by the power of his emotions. Jason wasn't a stranger to flying like he was back then, but he could still read the animation in his expression.

He dodged Kyle, circled around and painted a shape of eight with his light in the darkness of the space, he woofed like a wolf while doing that.

Kyle laughed and woofed as well, because why the hell not? He wanted to just stand in a corner and watch Jason's excitement. All the rookies were that thrilled when they first flew with their rings. But he flew along with Jason so the man wouldn't lose track of himself and get lost in the space.

Jason still couldn't make a construct, even his costume still hadn't appeared, but at least his ring listened to him when he told it he wanted to fly. Step by step. He was making progress, he'd make it to the end.

Jason was a late bloomer, but he was also a quick learner. He adjusted himself pretty well with his ring. They flew around Mogo, between the sinuous configuration in Oa. Kyle soon realized, Jason was a daring guy. He liked to cross his boundaries, he wasn't afraid to test his limitation. Kyle knew he was excited to use his newly found powers, but the way Jason used it, the way he swiped from the surface to soar at the peak of the planet, it was stunning to say the least.

Because, Kyle wasn't the one giving him orders. He seem to just do whatever he wanted. Maybe his ring was talking to him. Who knew? Maybe Jason's training wouldn't be so thorny after all. Jason wasn't any ordinary guy. He was taught most of the things there was to know about saving lives and being resilient. He was going to be alright, he just needed a little . . . . what was that Kilowog said?

Right, _motivation._

They'd work on it. Step by step.

"WHOA, WHOA, WHOA__."

Jason crash landed on the dirt. He literally fleet with his face right on the ground. Kyle also remembered _that_ particular aspect of flying for the first time. He couldn't hide the snicker that followed after seeing that scene.

"Fuck. I think I'm dead." Jason groaned, trying to sit up.

_"Negative. Your vital organs are all functioning durably. You are not dead, Lantern Jason."_

"No shit, _genius."_ He sat on the ground and put his forearms on his knees. "I figured that part myself."

He flew toward him and sat crossed legs beside Jason. "You were great today, Jay."

The man chuckled slightly and kicked a rock before his foot. "I know. It was pretty co__." He coughed. "It was good."

"You're getting the hang of this Lantern thing. You'd be graduated in no time."

Jason ran a hand through his hair to set the mess in his hair right, which was blown to every direction. "There's gonna be graduated party, too?"

"I mean, why the hell not?" He shrugged his shoulders. "Jess and Simon had one."

Jason stared at him, but didn't say a word.

"But of course, you'd have to learn how to make a construct first. Maybe pick up a costume before that."

He gave a look to Jason's clothes. They were Guy's and fitted him so well. He figured Jason would be too brawny to fit into his own clothes, so he searched Guy's stuff and found those spares. They suited Jason, like they _belonged_ to that body. Guy was muscular, but Kyle never knew to a Bat extent.

"How long will that take? Any chance it'd be as easy as flying, too?"

He brought his eyes up to meet Jason's, his face heating up thinking he was caught staring. "I uh . . . . Not much. It all depends on how strong your will is."

"Is it . . . they just make weapons, or . . . . I don't know, I've seen you create some weird stuff . . . ."

He chuckled at that. "Yeah, I . . . constructs are just solid objects that you can control telekinetically. It can be _anything_ , you know. Like, a giant fist, a shield to block, a sword to cut, chains to bind, a picture on your mind. It could be in whatever shape or size. You just need to be creative, and think fast in a battle . . . . which I think you got the latter covered."

Jason's eyebrows twisted a bit. "You mean, like . . . . I can build their _picture_ , or . . . ?"

"It's uh . . . ." He bit his lips and tried to grasp the right words to explain it. "Like a memory, or a picture you've seen before. If you focus enough, you can make those imaginations to live. They're a kind of construct, too. I mean . . . once I used a Wonder Woman construct in a battle. "He laughed lightly remembering that.

One look at Jason, and . . . nope. He wasn't laughing at all. He just nodded his head and stared at a spot before him. Kyle didn't think he even heard him, or simply didn't care.

"It'd be a piece of cake. You got it in you. Of course, you need more practice, but at least you didn't puke. I'd give you that."

Jason didn't respond, he didn't even move his eyes from that spot he was staring at.

"Alright, I think we had enough for one day. What do you say we__."

"No." Jason suddenly stood up. "Let's try this out. I wanna make a construct."

Where did that enthusiasm come from? "Um, okay." Who was he to complain?

He tried _everything._ He attacked Jason with various guns, he tossed the man up and down, threw pies at his face, he even snuck up on the man to plan a surprise attack on him, but who the hell snuck up on a Bat-kid? 

Apparently Kyle Rayner, who's been blasted away by Jason.

Jason still didn't make a single construct. He merely could blast green energy out of his ring, or create a shield around himself. That was also progress, but it wasn't enough. Luckily or not, Jason had the relentless dedication to keep trying till morning, but Kyle didn't have to bear with him. It wasn't a matter of life and death, it could wait.

* * *

 

Just when he came out of the shower and was ready to sleep, someone knocked on his door. More like, hit their fists there.

Somehow, he wasn't surprised to find Jason on the door. "Did you wanted to use the sho__."

Jason cut him off. "My room ain't got any blankets, and it's fucking _freezing_. Are you people some sort of sadist, or something?" He demanded angrily.

"Uh . . . "

"Also, I got a spare toothbrush here." Jason intruded his room.

 _Sure thing, make yourself at home_.

Jason took his jacket off, slowly put it on one of the chairs in the room, and disappeared in the bathroom. A few minutes later, the aforesaid man returned, showered and shirtless, slipped under the sheets and . . . . NO, not this time. Kyle didn't want to stay awake for another night.

"Jason, you realize this is my room, right?" He asked from where he was sleeping on _his bed._

Silence.

 _"My_ room." Jason didn't answer him, he just rolled over and stared at him. "You can't just come here and__."

He was cut off as the man pulled him forward to smack their lips together. "Hmm, Jay__." Jason didn't let him talk, and moved his lips against his instead.

Kyle lost all the strength he wanted to use to push him off of the bed, his mind was too busy enjoying Jason's fiercely kisses, and his mouth was too occupied to graze the aforesaid man's lips to care for protesting.

Jason pushed up to hover above him to kiss him better. Kyle frowned, he wanted to pull back and tell the man to go to his own room. _This isn't a hotel, for God's sake._ But instead, he found himself lost in the ebullient lips of Jason. Moving so gracefully, pressing his tongue somewhat possessive, kissing him greedily, barely allowing Kyle to even think about returning the affection back.

His breath was stuck in his chest. All he could inhale was the fresh and pleasant scent of apple toothpaste between them. All he could hear was the sounds their wet lips made, and the ragged breaths through their noses.

But wait!

He pulled back to stare breathlessly at Jason. "Jay, I . . . ." He gulped at the intensity of those green-blue eyes staring right back at him. "I . . ."

Jason gave him a questionable look. He took another breath. For some reasons, Jason was looking awfully pleasing at the moment. "You . . . you didn't _have to_ do thin if you wanted to sleep here. I . . . I let you come here the first time, and . . . "

Jason leaned down and started kissing his neck, lightly running his tongue over his pulse, which was pounding more now. He licked his wet lips. Jason's kisses electrified his skin, Kyle could feel the luring shiver to the back of his head.

"I'm here, because I _want to,_ Rayner." He murmured to his skin. "Unless _you_ don't want to." Jason brought his head up to stare down at him.

"No, I . . . I mean, _yes!_   But, it's just that . . . "

Jason waited for his answer. When he couldn't think of a way to give him a respond, Kyle grabbed his face forward to connect their lips again.

How the hell was he supposed to explain to Jason why he wanted his touch, other than getting what he was given anyway?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What up my lovely readers?   
> So buckle up guys, I finally got to writing the last chapter!! Yay!! It COULD definitely go on, but I'm pretty satisfied with where I'm going to finish it. I hope you guys enjoy the ride too!  
> Thank you sooo much for all you sweet, sweet cookies who left kudos, comment, bookmark, and subscribed on this fic. You all rock and if it wasn't for your wonderful and lovely support, this fic wouldn't have come so far. So, lots of love to you guys and also the ones who just read it. I'm honored, really.  
> As soon as I write the last chapter and fix some others, I'll be updating quicker.  
> Wish you all the best times! (^o^)


	19. Chapter 19

He had to make a construct. He _had_ to learn how to. He had already thought of what his first construct would be. At that point, he didn't care if tit was his second or tenth anymore. He just wanted to be able to build something now.

They've been practicing, they've been working hard, Kyle was there for him in every single step he took, but it wasn't enough, it was all in vain, it didn't seem to work. Every day that passed, he was feeling the irritation more than will. They trained flying, how to control his blasts, how to enhance his fighting utilization with his ring. He even got himself an original Lantern suit.

But there hasn't been a single construct made yet.

How long has it been? You'd think that maybe there was something wrong with his ring, maybe it made the wrong choice, it was on the wrong finger after all. Maybe that was its sign of telling him that.

"Jason, you think too loud." Kyle said as he folded his arms to pillow under his head. "Just stop. Okay?" He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "As one of my friends like to say, all will be well."

Jason stared at his calm expression, at his composed body language, laying next to him on the grassy field, under the shadow of a sturdy tree, far from the civil advanced city. Kyle himself suggested taking a break there to clear their minds.

"Where did your friend read that from? The book of teaching losers how to be optimistic?"

"No, actually that's his saying. He's a Blue Lantern."

"There's blue, too?"

"Yeah. It's the spectrum of hope."

He was quiet for a minute. "Just how many spectrums are out there?"

"Seven. Except Black and White." Kyle still hadn't opened his eyes. He looked so content.

"I think there should be a book _'Know your universe'_ taught in schools."

Kyle smiled to that. "Yeah. That'll probably be the _only_ lesson nobody would fail in the history of education."

He folded an arm under his head and took an inhale from the serene breeze of the tree, watched as its leaves and branches swayed slowly to the direction of the wind. It was like the tree itself was breathing. It looked the trees back on Earth. If he hadn't seen a Lantern fly in the sky then, he wouldn't have remembered where he was.

"Is someone even that hopeful to be a Lantern? I mean . . . Humans, their lives, they're not very . . . ." He swallowed the rest of his sentence.

Believing the best in people wasn't his strongest element. Just as he felt like he was ready to give someone the benefit of the doubt, they'd stab him on the back. First his own family, then Bruce, Joker's daughter, Ma Gunn, Gotham, and many in between. Dick was the most upbeat person he knew, but life wasn't fair to that beloved man.

He guessed it was true what they said. Fate only picked up flowers like Dick. It spit trashed like Jason out.

 _"I_ was a Blue Lantern once. It was the easiest emotion to harness for me. I feel the strongest toward hope actually." He finally opened his eyes and sighed in contentment.

"I get this whole emotional powers and stuff. Like . . . fear's something that never ends. Will is inside everyone. But hope? It drains, it dies. It's a waste of time to keep _hoping._ And what for? Everything's the same in the end. It all leads to death."

"I can see how you're not the most optimistic guy in the universe, but . . . . you're wrong. Death is not the end, it's a new beginning. Who knows what'll happen in the other world, or _if_ there is one? Hope's about life, and as long as there's life, there's hope."

He made it sound so easy.

He snickered. "You watch too many corny movies, Rayner."

"'Actually, not at all." He chuckled lightly. "I'm an artist. I wear my heart out. I really believe in the power of hope. It's within all of us. We _always_ have hope. See, we all know that at some point we're gonna die, right? But we still think about tomorrow. We still worry what we're going to do an hour later. You're practicing so hard, because you're hoping to make a construct."

"Because I _will."_

"And that's the thing. Will and hope are connected, they complete each other. Without hope there's no will and vice versa. You need will to continue being optimistic."

"Did your blue friend tell you that?"

"Saint Walker? Yeah. He's one of my pals. He's the first Blue Lantern." Kyle kept staring above, to the sunlight rays through the bright leaves. He brought a hand up to trace their movements with his finger, like he was drawing something in the air.

He continued. "He's always been there for me. He never gave up on me, he . . . ." His smile slowly faded away. "You were right to think there isn't any hope in the universe. There weren't many Blue Lanterns around, and . . . those few people were killed along with their central battery and planet."

Kyle put his hand on his chest, where that scar was branded on his skin. Jason's been meaning to ask how he got it, but then he figured it'd be stupid. The scar had a shape of a Lantern, but it didn't belong to the green ones he knew. He just pushed the thought aside, assuming Rayner received it in a battle with other Lanterns.

"You know how the White ring has the power of life? So I . . . . _we_ , tried to revive his people back. I mean, it worked for Hal, so we thought . . . ." He paused and bit his lips. "But it didn't, and in the end, my ring split till only green was left."

"Wait! That's how you lost your White ring? I thought you just . . . . I don't know, _chose_ to be a greenie."

He shifted his shoulders in what could be read as a shrug. "I wish. The White Lantern was pretty handy in a lot of circumstances." He sighed. "But even after I failed . . . . even though Walker was devastated from that loss, he never lost trace of hope. He said, all will be well. And . . . . I believe him." Kyle turned his head toward him. "There's always a brighter day awaiting."

He stared right back. "And what if the lights went out?"

"Then you'll see blue in the darkness. Because all _will_ be well. Always."

Jason wanted to laugh, because that was where the paradox came. Blue was the spectrum of hope, and Jason's blue . . . was dead. Literally. His light was gone and it was only darkness left.

He followed Kyle's gaze. Those green eyes that jumped from one eye to another, and couldn't decide which eyeball to fixate at. He _really_ looked into the Lantern's eyes. He seemed to do that a lot lately. He knew how bright they were the first time they met at the time they traveled the mutiverse together. But now, he could see how that light was fainting.

He saw how the Lantern struggled to preserve that slight beam. From how hard he squeezed his eyes shut while kissing him, to how he maintained his unyielding gaze at him. To the point, where Jason had to close his own eyes just so he wouldn't have to feel the fevor of his burning eyes.

It got him thinking. Was Kyle trying to think about _him,_ or . . . he was trying _not_ to?

Like right now. Kyle was looking at him like he wanted to kiss Jason, but he also blinked a few times to cut the connection.

"What're you thinking about, Jay?"

_Your eyes._

"I'm thinking you should change your friends."

His expression immediately fell. "You're such an asshole. You know that, right?" He opened his mouth to respond, but Kyle beat him to it. "If you continue being a jerk like this, you're going to end up turning to the second Sinestro."

He bit his tongue and didn't say anything. They both turned their heads away to eye the scene above them. They laid there for a good couple of minutes in silent. Just breathing beside one another, and . . . . listening to what that glassy silent got.

The light whistle of the wind, the rustles of the leaves, distance sounds of Lanterns departing the atmosphere, and a mouse peeping . . . . WAIT!

He sat up straight to take in the creature he just found on the tree. He gaped at the animal which looked strangely like a  . . . . squirrel?"

The said animal suddenly whooshed from above their heads and flew toward the headquarter, leaving Jason staring at its trail with an opened mouth.

"Was that . . . . a space _squirrel?"_

"Yep."

"As a . . . . as a Green Lantern?"

"Yep." Kyle sounded like he was enjoying Jason's puzzled expression.

"Okay, you know what? I'm not even surprised anymore." He put his hands on the grass and leaned back against them. "I've seen a giant _mushroom_ wearing a ring. _That_ is definitely not the weirdest thing I've seen."

"Well." Kyle sat up to face him. "What would you say if I told you there's a _cat_ as a Red Lantern, and there was once a _dog_ for a Blue Lantern?"

Jason gave him an unimpressed look. "Seriously?" Did they give away rings to anyone these days? "I'd say there's probably a cockroach as a Lantern of fear."

"No that . . . ." Kyle paused to chuckle as he shook his head. "Cockroaches don't put a lot of effort to scar people, you know? They're just . . . ." He brought a hand up and gave him a look, as if it explained the reasoning behind his choice.

Rayner continued. "Maybe a dinosaur would've been a great candidate if they still existed."

Now Jason was imaging the picture of a giant T-Rex, with a black and yellow suit, roaring in the space and terrorizing the shit out of its enemies.

"That'd be cool, though." He spoke out his thoughts.

"That'd be the end of the universe."

"See? _Cool."_

Kyle raised a questionable eyebrow at him, but his lips were perked up slightly as he tried to hide his smile. Jason raised an equal eyebrow at him. They kept on staring at each other until Kyle burst into laughter. "Dude, the idea of Jurassic Park's been proven to be a mistake multiple times!"

"But just think about a T-Rex in Sinestro's costume. How cool is that?"

"No . . . just." Kyle turned his head aside and shuddered.

Jason snickered himself, which was followed by a laughter, soon Kyle joined him on it, too.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, the idea of Jurassic Park's probably not the wisest decision we'd make, but it makes it up with one hell of a movie! :D


	20. Chapter 20

"Lantern Baz and Cruz hadn't requested any assistance from the corps, yet. But they were seen with the company of Earth heroes, the Justice League. Their current concern is largely surrounded around the topic of Dexstar planting a _hell spawn_ on your land." Salaak finished the report.

"Maybe I should go check on them. They might__."

"They will be fine, Hal." John cut his friend off. "Earth's sector, they're ready to face the complications. You should have some faith in them, Jordan."

"It's not that I don't _trust_ them. Hell, _I_ left them as Earth's guardians. But . . . . It's Atrocitus we're talking about."

"You seem to have forgotten that Earth has more than two protectors. You fought beside them, you're aware of their competence in regards of saving lives."

"Yeah, I know. I just . . . ." Hal made a hand gesture to find the right words, but seemed to give up. "You know what. You're the leader. You got it better than I anyway." With that being said, Hal moved to fly out of the command center.

"Hal__."

"I'm not gonna go to Earth. Promise."

"That's not what I__."

Hal flew out of the room, and left John hanging to whether follow him to talk, or prioritize his duties as the Green Lantern Crops leader. Eventually, he decided to stay right he was.

"Has Arisa and Iolande returned from Maltus belt?" He asked.

"It appears not."

"Scan for nay sign of trouble between sector zero to 3001."

Salaak moved all his four hands in a fast motion across the blue monitors. "No trouble detected, yet."

He nodded his head in acknowledgment. It was placidly quiet in the universe. Especially on Mogo.

"How's the new Lantern doing?"

Salaak opened a screen footage, showing Jason and Kyle in the gym. The said Lantern had a green boxing bag attached to the ceiling, and kept punching it. He had a rhythm, a special technique, each aim seemed calculated and purposeful. Brutal, deliberate, durable.

John could recognize a ruthless fighter even through a monitor.

"He certainly has improved since day one." Salaak said. "He's mastering flight and combat at a remarkable pace." He paused before shutting the screen off. "But he has yet to build a single construct."

Which was worrisome. Something was holding the boy back. Something Jason showed no interest in confronting. Which was also worrisome, because he was questioning the meaning of being a Green Lantern with that action.

John flew toward the gym. Before he entered the room, he heard Kyle's voice. "Batman also trained _me_ in hand to hand combat, too, you know."

"Yeah, but . . . ." The sound of three hard hits to the punching bag was heard. "Batman's not the only one who trained me." A few more beats and Jason panted. "Thought You'd wanna know."

"In that case," John announced his present as he entered the gym. "I think you need a new opponent."

Jason's hands ceased midway. Green boxing-wraps around his fist, shirt off to reveal athletic physique, barley breaking any sweats, even though John could practically hear how strong he struck. The green construct disappeared to show Kyle, leaning against the wall oppose to Jason.

"For someone who claims to be trained by Batman, you hesitate for too long." He dared the boy.

Jason's lips twisted upward to give him a teasing smirk. "Sorry, pal. I ain't the one to join in unfair fights."

"I promise to go easy on you." He folded his hands against his chest. "How about that?"

The said man snickered. "I'd like it better if there wasn't any rules." Jason tilted his head to aside, grinning playfully. "How about that, old man?"

 _Old man? Oh, you got yourself an_ expert _old man, rookie._

"I'd still wanna go by my rules. I can't have the newbie to bail on his duties before even starting."

Jason gave him a look and kept staring at him. "Are you serious?"

"Absolutely."

 _"You_ , wanna spar, with _me?"_

"Boy, that'd be _so_ cool!" Kyle said, smiling and showing a line of white teeth.

"Alright. But only if Rayner leaves."

"But I kinda wanna see__."

"'Only _if_ Rayner's out." Jason repeated himself.

"Hey! Why would you__."

"Kyle, I think it's enough for today. You can go and rest now, I got this."  He gave the Lantern a stirring look for better measurement.

Kyle huffed, reluctantly pushed from the wall, and left the room with John and Jason.

The boy stared at him for a minute, unreadable eyes of a Bat trying to figure out the creature before him. He started to circle around John, seizing him up, trying to catch the man in surprise. An old, but efficient method to unease the opponent. The street way. He led the boy to it.

"Assaulting the Lanterns under your command." Jason made the first move. He kicked Johns behind the knees to break his balance. "By putting them on their knees?" Followed by a punch to his back, a pressure weighting on his shoulder to complete the strike as John fell face forward on the floor. "Classic. I admire your taste, _Corps' leader."_

He elbowed Jason off of him to turn around. "It's for training purpose." He hit the boy on his smug face. "To show you the ring's not the weapon in a battle." They got up to grab each others' shoulders in a grappling hold. "It's the . . . . Lantern. He's the real weapon."

He surprised himself by grunting out of  struggling hard. Jason had proven himself to have quite notable strength. "Your weapon, is your mind." He forced the words out, but Jason only hit his knee to John's abdomen a couple of times in response.

He groaned loudly and heat-butted Jason to create a distance between them. He inhaled a large amount of air and dashed forward, not allowing the boy a chance to recover, and started kicking his sides. "When you're attacked . . . . you're only going to use your mind." He panted the words out. Jason seem to get back from the blows faster than he initially presumed.

His stamina was good. It was great actually. He has only seen one person with that much tolerance for pain, and he was Guy Gard__.

Before he could see it, Jason had blocked his kick, and forged forward with both his fists to shove him harshly back.

He gritted his teeth in pain. Maybe it was time to play by Jason's rules if the man wasn't willing to listen.

"You're hungry for a good fight? You'll _get one."_

A boxing glove punched Jason hard on the mouth, and caused him to stumble back a bit. "The only gun you need in a battle is your mind. The only punch you hit is with your thoughts. So, _think."_ Another punch from the green gloves. "Use your ring to bring out your thoughts. Your guns. Whatever you believe in, is _real."_

"Sorry, old man." Jason's ragged voice reached his ears. "But I only fancy _real_ guns." A blast hit John from behind and caught him off guard as he fell forward. "And not the ones I made in my _mind."_

He sat on all four, face down and drawing as much air as he could. The boy leaned down and pointed his glowing fist near John's face like a gun. That just made him snort. "You just don't listen, do you?" He brought his own head up to look at Jason's confused expression. "I just said the ring's not the weapon." A riffle appeared underneath Jason's chin, and forced his head up aggressively. "It's actually what you can do with your _mind."_

He used the distraction to yank the boy's hand down to flip him on his back. "A Lantern should know his opponent." He hooked a green hand around Jason's ankles, and threw the man across the room. Jason's back hit the wall with a too loud thud. "Just like how I know you're a criminal." Jason hissed in pain and squeezed his eyes shut.

Real good stamina.

His ring would protect him from sever damage, still, he wasn't in his uniform, but he knew how to take a beating. John wouldn't expect anything less from Batman's son.

"The Red Hood. Killed 88 people." He hit the boy's head with a bat. "But I think I should add one more to the statistics."

_"Willpower spiking."_

Jason made a blast, which certainly would've injured John for real or possibly killed him if he hadn't made a shield just in time.

"You don't know shit! You think you fucking know me, but you _don't._ You DON'T KNOW SHIT." Jason shouted furiously.

"Jason," John shouted in return. "I'm only trying to help you make a construct." He tried to reason.

"I _KNOW_. Dammit." Jason ceased his green energy.

Once he was sure he'd be safe, he pulled his shield down.

They gave it a few minutes before talking again. Just breathing and adjusting themselves to the present time and the issue at hand. The gym wasn't surprisingly damaged beyond repair. Just a couple of creative Lanterns, and they'd build it good as new.

"It was probably the most _fun_ I had since coming here." Jason broke the silence as he sat on the floor.

"Hopefully educational as well."

Jason shrugged and looked away. "Would've been if I actually made a construct. You know, it . . . . makes me believe more everyday that it chose the wrong guy."

He slowly walked up to him. "You're worthy, not because the ring says so. But because you _are_ deep inside. The ring merely recognizes it."

A hollow, bitter laugh. "Don't say shit like that. You _know_ who I am. You know what I did. I'm not . . . . the right choice for this kind of stuff."

"Yet, here you are."

"Not for long I bet." He put his arms on his perched up knees, still not looking at him. "As soon as something turns to crap, they're going to blame it on me. Accuse the criminal, the easiest way."

"Jason." He waited till the boy made eye contact with him. "We all try to do the right thing, but sometimes . . . we fail. You should learn from them."

The boy sighed and murmured. "Not this bull again."

"I'm the Corps' leader, but who's to say I didn't make mistakes, I didn't fail? I _did_ , more than once. Under my leadership we lost so many great Lanterns. We failed so many times over." 

"Moral of the story?" Jason couldn't sound more unimpressed.

That tone make him pause. "We keep fighting, and never give up. Because I learned from my failures that an entire Corps shouldn't be punished for its leader's mistake."

Jason just stared at him. "Planting inspiration doesn't seem like your thing. Is there a message you wanna deliver or . . . ."

Using his ring like he had something to prove, fighting like it was in his blood to be strong, playing it difficult when it came to acknowledging his own worth, brushing off help like an asshole.

Seeing all those stuff in Jason, John was starting to feel that Guy's place was being filled by that boy. In such a perfect way that no other badass dude could achieve. And it's only been a few minutes he was with Jason in the same room.

"You're good, kid. One day, you'll become the Corps' new fist. Just like Guy was."

That caused Jason's eyebrows to quirk down into a scowl. When he talked next, his voice was dangerously low. "I'm. Not. Guy. Gardner."

"Of course, you're not. Or else, Batman wouldn't come all the way for an urgent meeting with you."

If possible, his frown got deeper.

"WHAT?"


	21. Chapter 21

There was just something about embracing with someone in an intimacy desire, Kyle thought to himself. Whether that person be your lover, or simply a buddy call, one couldn't deny the feeling it brought along.

During the time, which his head was too clouded by pleasure to notice anything. The world, the people, the feelings, even himself was forgotten then. There was just _something_ about holding on to his lover, the person he shared a bed with, the guy he guided his lips to kiss. Something so human, so stirring, so honest.

Something that made him eager to display the human flaws in his body shamelessly. Something that made him overlook the scars, the shapes, the imperfections around him.  Something that put his mind at peace, even though, he was supposedly on the most vulnerable position of his life.

That something, which only a nestling had. That something, which only surrounded them like the noises around them. Something, which their shared breathes fogged. _Something._ That thing, which made them want to move the Earth and heaven for their lover. That feeling, which gave him the strength to give his life away for his lover. That high point of desire that left his heart beating one name only.

_Jason . . . . Jason . . . . Jason_

There was something about being tangled in a person's limbs, kiss them with a drive, like it was a competition to see who could satisfy the other better. Lay with them, breath their gratifying scent, caress their skin and not give a shit about their detection marks.

That person was Jason now. That feeling was what their shared intimacy brought. That something, which made him lose sight of his grieves, which let him to love and be loved in return. Something to hope for, something to remember himself with.

He was only human, he had feelings, he hurt, he craved, he was vulnerable, he thirsted for lust, for love, for moving forward, for being a hero. He was Kyle Rayner, the artist who was upfront with his feelings, the Green Lantern who missed home every now and then, the honor guard who fought for the universe, the man who never gave up, and also a lover who couldn't sleep with someone this many times without falling for them eventually.

Even if that said someone was Jason.

 _Especially,_ if that said someone was Jason.

Days passed, weeks, who knew how long? But Jason was still here, and there was no trace of Batman, yet. He knew John was keeping an eye on Jason. He knew Hal was pissed at Simon and Jessica for dealing with the Red Lanterns on their own. He knew Kilowog and some others tried to train with Jason at some point in an effort to make allies with the man. He knew Jason was getting resentful for not being granted access to leave Mogo unauthorized.

Kyle bound the man with heavy chains. Jason struggled against the hold, to free his hand, he grunted, released his fist long enough to cut the chains with green lasers. He swift in height, but didn't make any moves to attack.

Jason was irritated to say the least.

Kyle flew next to him and said. "Hope you're not naked underneath that uniform. We're going for a drink."

He crossed his arms against his chest. "Bet you'd like that, wouldn't you, Rayner?"

"Where we're about to go, it's not _me_ you should be worried about."

He flew out into the space toward the familiar direction of Hoop. Jason slowly landed beside him. He was getting pretty good at flying. He was a Bat after all, flying was in his blood.

"Where are we?" Jason asked, following Kyle as he shut off his costume into civils.

 _"Sector 1974__."_ His ring glowed.

"Not you." Jason was back to his own clothes, too.

"Hoop." He walked up toward the place. "It's a . . .  space bar." He smiled a little.

They entered the overly crowed bar. Beefy aliens, with the weirdest appearance, various colors and races, assembled in each corner, doing all sorts of similar Earthy games and gambles with their own alien rules, and drinking whatever that got them buzzed.

It used to be him and Guy's spot to spent time. They had nearly knew all their plays and how to cheat on every single of them. They'd gotten drunk, and started a fight in most of their encounters. If not because of their bad-ass reputation, they would've been banned from going near that place long ago. It was a good thing that Guy was known as the roughneck Lantern around.

On their way to the bar, he could swear he heard some of them whisper they thought they saw Gardner for a second. He didn't need to double check to know who they were refereeing to as Guy.

They sat on the bar stools and Kyle ordered them both a drink. The bartender looked daggers at him, and quirked his lips back to show a set of threatening teeth, but he brought their drinks anyway. It was just a warning for Kyle to keep his head up and not make any troubles at his bar. Kyle raised his glass to cheer with the bartender and smiled at him.

_Message received. We're cool, bro._

Jason looked suspiciously at the drink before him, brought the glass up and sniffed it. He clicked their glasses together to encourage Jason to drink up. They both took a large swing. It tasted close to whiskey, but it was supposed to be much stronger. Whatever. He clicked his tongue in disgust anyway. He didn't have to pretend to like something.

Jason however, he looked like he was enjoying the bitter drink, he took in his surrounding, and started to tap his foot to the beat of the music.

"The dudes in Oa, they have a magic ring. I can understand them. But these dudes?" Jason gestured to the bar. "They aren't wearing any smart rings. How the hell I know what they're talking about?" He genuinely looked puzzled about that.

"Your ring can translate any language in the universe." Kyle answered.

"Feels like I'm in one of those Sci_Fi movies."

"Yep. Pretty much all the times."

They drank in silence for a few minutes. They were used to that reticence mist around them. Only this time, the gap was being filled by chatter and the crowd. Good thing about Jason was that he never had to fill the quietness with babble. It was always comfortable.

"So, why did you bring me here?" Jason asked.

He stared at the man. Did he just jinx Jason?

"Uh, you seemed . . . . frustrated? I don't know. Thought I'd take you out here. And I know you like drinking heavy stuff. This place has the scariest drinks in the whole universe. Figured you could drink your steam away."

A bitter chuckled. "Yeah, do whatever to keep this scum leashed, enough for the goddamn Batman to arrive. That's the whole point. I get it." He finished his drink and motioned for the bartender to bring another one.

It'd be stupid to ask how he knew about Batman's arrival. It didn't come as a surprise, really. But . . . .

"I . . . that's not why we're . . . .  Not why I brought you here."

"Then why?" The bartender came back with their drinks. "Hmm? Why did you bring me exactly where used to be your date spot with Guy?" He took a sip.

There was no way the alcohol could kick in that fast. Was Jason a light drinker or something? Where did that sudden rage come from?

"Jay, the hell are you talking__."

Jason folded his arm on the bar table and gave him a dead stare, which didn't make sense with his tone or . . . . literally, with what he was saying.

"I'm good at picking the voices, you know. It's a Bat thing. They're all good with their ears."

Kyle wanted to roll his eyes. _Here goes the dramatic Bat references._ "Jason, do you, like, write down those Bat puns somewhere to memorize, or__."

"The _second_ I put a foot here, everyone were about to shit their pants." Jason said, irritation and anger leaking from his voice. "And not because you batted your pretty eyes. But because they're fucking scared of Guy Gardner, and they thought _I_ was _him."_

He just stared at Jason.

The man continued with the same venomous tone. "You know what the doorman just said? He said if I had red hair, they would've send their men to kick me out of here."

He took a large gulp from his drink, which surprisingly, didn't taste that bitter anymore. In fact, it was just the right amount of buzz he needed to deal with that kind of shit. "So? What are you trying to get at?"

Jason tapped a finger on the wooden-like table. "This is your place. You, and Guy Gardner. Not Hal or Johnny. _You and guy."_

Kyle turned away to put his elbow on the table, swirled the glass with his wrist. He preferred to watch the drink inside that than the Jason's eyes, which was drilling a hole in his skull with his stare.

"We fool around, we sleep together, shower together. Yeah, they're probably gonna put you to babysit me if it comes to it, too. They're all cool, we agreed to them. But _this?"_

Kyle turned to glare at him. Jason's expression was awfully closed off, except for slightly narrowing his eyes down. Those beautiful eyes that he always drooled over to capture in a painting, didn't look so charming anymore.

"What are you saying, Jay? I don't quite follow." He spit the words out.

_Enlighten me, you jerk._

"Kyle, when we have sex, we have _sex._ When we train together, we _train_ together. It's not supposed to be more than that. So, tell me. What are _you_ saying here, Rayner?"

"I'm asking what your fucking problem is! I bring you here, because I don't want you to feel caged. And now you're giving me this shit?" His mouth tasted bitter, just as the words that came out of it did. 

Jason gave a hollow laugh. Yeah, we get it. You're the picture perfect here. I'm the asshole who fucks everything up by clearing the shits between them."

"Wh__ Jay,  I didn't . . . . I wasn't trying to . . . ."His hand balled tightly around the glass. He put it down on the table so the shake in his hands wouldn't be visible.

That was the thing with falling in a bed with someone more than once. They didn't stay a one nightstand anymore. Especially if the said someone was your old friend, current student, and occasionally lover. Something was going to be created within the snuggle of kisses and touches. That something that made Jason's words stung more than they meant to. That something that filled his heart with hope only to . . . . to . . . .

He stubbornly looked away. "It's not what you think."

"At first, you're sour because Guy's ring chose me, then you kiss me back and give me Guy's clothes. And now you bring me to the place you and Guy used to crash? Do the math, Rayner."

"I . . . . " Kyle frowned and gazed at the man. "What does that have to do with__."

"Don't play with me, Kyle! I know about your little crush on the big guy." Jason raised his tone at him. "Are you _literally_ trying to replace Guy with me, or something?"

"FUCK YOU, Jason! You don't know anything." He poured his drink to the man's face and used the distraction to land a fucking satisfying punch on his face. _Sorry dear bartender._ And marched out of the bar.

He ignored all the snorts, sickening sounds of laughter and humiliation. He ignored his sour knuckle, he ignored Jason, ignored that throbbing knot in his throat, ignored that self-blaming shit that started to eat his mind off. Ignored all the logic, all the anger, all the shattered pieces of his heart. His hope, his blue light . . . .

_Sorry, Walker. But all is not well._

He whooshed from that planet, flew away as fast as he could. Escaped from Jason, from that bitter drink, from all the sounds of laughter, from shame, from that _damn something_ that took away his strongest achievement, what made him Kyle Rayner, what made him a hero.

His will.

Because he flew away from his fears instead of confronting them . . . . He failed . . . .

The scar on his chest started to burn. It ached, it hurt just like the first time. Maybe even worse. God, he was feeling every bit of burnt on his skin.

Soranik's words just before she branded him, repeated themselves on his mind.

 _"Your fear is what made you keep your secret. Fear that I wouldn't want to be with you. Fear that I'd be the_ love _you let_ slip away."

He clutched his head between his hands. She roared inside his ears.

_"You fear a wounded heart!"_


	22. Chapter 22

He had the chance, but Jason didn't go back to Earth. He didn't go to Oa. He didn't even stay on that _hoop_ place, even though it had the strongest kind of alcohol he ha ever had.

He had a backpack of regrets, and a chest filled with pain. Like the lonely wanderer in a cold alley.

He flew aimlessly around till his ring directed him to a desolated planet. He didn't care what its name or sector was, he merely landed on its brown, infertile dirt, and started strolling along its trackless field. That planet looked like what NASA's portrait of Mars would've seemed. Auburn mountains, night sky coloring in peacock blue through the amber hue of sun.

Jason walked on that reddish ground, under the ultramarine sky . . . . and just thought.

He thought about _him._ About the single thing he kept thinking half of his life. About the only person he still chose to love even in his second life.

He walked alienated on an unknown planet, and in that suffocating loneliness, he thought about Dick.

His beautiful face still danced before his eyes. The sound of his laughter still jolted Jason's stomach with excitement. He's seen many skies, found so many oceans, he traveled the universe, but still couldn't find anything as blue as Dick's eyes. Nothing was blue like his eyes. Without his eyes, nothing ever appeared blue to Jason's vision.

He escaped in the space, flew thousands of sectors away, kept his distance in hundred years of light farther from his home, but . . . . the thought of Dick would still find its way to his mind. Their memories still haunted his heart. The memories which were worth more than a world.

Where else should he have gone?

Where should he have gone, so their memories wouldn't remind him of Dick? Where should he have gone, so his thought would leave Jason for one night? What did he do to himself that death and or life didn't make any difference anymore?

It was impossible for anyone else to withstand that awful state of mind like Jason did.

_Where should I go, so in every single second, I wouldn't see you anymore? Where should I go, so in each breath, I wouldn't say your name anymore?_

He almost traveled the whole world, the whole universe, heavens above, the hell six feet under, but it didn't matter anymore. Wherever he went, he'd be the same lover of Dick.

It was all out of love.

His ring chose him, because it saw what the fear of losing Dick did to him. He decided to be a Green Lantern, because Dick would've wanted him to be a hero. He kissed Kyle, and told himself that it's because they needed each other.

But he couldn't fool himself. There were millions of people on Earth he could be with. Why Kyle, though? That deep, hidden turmoil part of him screamed _"Because Kyle reminds_ _you the most of Dick."_

He did it all out of love.

That charming smile, his friendly attitude, that perfect jet black hair, his easy-going zone, those awful jokes, the sincere emotions in his eyes, the fact that everyone called him the heart of the Corps.

Kyle Rayner, the Dick Grayson of space. That idea didn't sound that far away from mind.

But Jason hated it.

He hated Kyle for being that perfect bastard at everything he did. Jason hated him for who he was. The _perfect_ Kyle Rayner. He wasn't looking for a replacement to fill Dick's spot in his life. Nobody could replace those blue eyes' space in his heart. But then that was where the paradox with Kyle came.

His eyes weren't blue, but they still could sink Jason in their depths.

Figuratively, Kyle looked nothing like Dick. But the similarities between them were bigger than facial resembling. Kyle was frustratingly attractive, Jason wasn't blind, he long had noticed it during their multiverse travels. He was independence, he had astonishing amount of willpower, was a quick learner, and so ambitious. Jason found a piece of Dick every time he was around the man.

He hated it.

He wanted to be numb about it. He stepped forward to kiss Rayner purely out of lust, and the inner tension of wielding a magic ring. He took another step toward him, and another, and another, and before he knew it, he actually gave a shit about Kyle.

That concept . . . . He hated it. He didn't _want it._ He didn't want to find a replacement for Dick.

He couldn't bear to be anyone's replacement himself, either.

But to the horror of his thoughts, that was exactly what was happening.

He walked and thought about Dick, about their memories, about his own loneliness with his beloved, about Guy, about Kyle, about the damn word _'Replacement'._ He walked and wished Dick was there to help him with the pouncing turmoil in his head.

 _I want you here, I need you right now._ Just what he would've given to see his beloved one more time. Just what he would've done to talk to Dick one last time.

His ring started to glow a bit. He stopped and brought his hand up to stare at the green jewelery.

 _"If you focus enough, you can bring those images to life."_ He remembered Kyle telling him he could create pictures, memories even.

He balled his hand to a fist and concentrated.

 _"Use your ring to bring out your thoughts. Whatever you believe in, is_ Real."

He closed his eyes and zeroed all his focus on his willpower.

 _"The ring never makes a mistake. You're qualified, you_ deserve _it. And I don't know about you, but I_ won't _give up on you."_

He got this. _Courage over fear. Will over dread._

And that was when he felt it. The intuition that told him something was happening. That warm feeling inside his chest, which made his heart throb with pride and excitement. He opened his eyes to see his handwork.

That beautiful gem.

Dick's face smiled at him. It was green, all of him was green. He was a construct, made out of Jason's thoughts and will. His first construct, his masterpiece. Same height, same bulk, same grace in his stance, same gorgeous face along with the familiar flip it brought to Jason's stomach.

It was so . . . . real.

All the lines of his figure, their shapes. Like . . . . if he concentrated long enough, he'd be able to find life within it. Like . . . . . he could pinpoint the hues coming to surface. His skin color, the darkness in his hair, the blues of his eyes. He could swear he was looking at the real Dick Grayson. Alive and kicking.

_"Jason . . . "_

Was he hearing it? Or just hallucinating it?

Was it real? It couldn't be . . . . How long has it been since he's heard that sweet voice.

 _"It suits you."_ The visual Dick looked him up and down. _"I'd prefer red, but I can see green working for you just fine. You're handsome like that."  He winked._

"Dick . . . ."

 _Do you miss me?_ It was on the tip of his tongue.

 _"Yes, Jason?"_   He smiled.

Jason seemed to stop at once. All he could think about was the little box in his pocket. Dick's ring, which was . . . . .

"Cold."

A chuckle. _"Naturally. We're in space, duh."_

"Dick . . . It's cold without you."

His bed, his hands, his heart. They were all freezing without Dick's presence.

Dick's smile fell into what could be describe as a guilty look. This . . . . This wasn't just Jason's thoughts coming to live. He was real, Dick was . . . . 

"Wish you didn't leave . . . . you _could."_   He pleaded.

_"Jay . . . "_

"Wish you missed me, too. I'm _freezing_ without you, Dick."

Dick cradled his face with one hand. His touch felt warm . . . . it was real . . . . Dick was real.

He was _RIGHT there._

Bloodstream rushed through his vessels. He was melting with desire. It felt like a dream, but . . . . It was a dream come true. _It was real._ He could feel his will spiking and feeding off his emotions.

_"Jason, you have to let go of me. You have to move on."_

Why was he saying those stuff? That wasn't what he wanted to hear.

"I . . . I can't! Because you were supposed to be _it._ You were supposed to be my forever, my future. It's always been you. How am I . . . I . . . It was always supposed to be _YOU . . . ._ I can't, not with someone else. I . . . ."

Dick's thumb stroked his cheek. His touch felt real, Jason could feel it on his skin. It wasn't passing through him . . . .

He missed it.

"Everywhere I went without you . . . . you made me keep coming back to you. Can't you see? I'm really _not okay."_

Dick shushed him like a child and leaned forward to plant a kiss on his forehead . . . .

He fucking missed it.

_"You're okay. You've always been."_

Those eyes. Why did they have to close forever? It wasn't fair.

"It's not fair, Dick."

_"Jason, hear yourself. It's not you. This is your fears talking."_

"I'm . . . . I'm . . . ."

 _"Your fears can't hurt you. They're just thoughts and feelings. They're not who you are. You're stronger than that._ Better  _than that."_

Even the Dick he created himself would be too stubborn to listen to him. He'd be trying to help Jason while the said man was addressing his longingness.

He pulled the man to crush in his arms. Squeezed him tight against himself as if the mere breeze was going to take his beloved away. If he could, he knew he'd never let Dick go from his embrace anymore. "I need you, Dick."

The said man planted another kiss on his neck and wrapped his arms around Jason. _"No, you don't."_

"I do. I do, you have _no idea_ how much."

 _"Baby, why are you doing this to yourself?"_ His voice got sweeter, so savoring he could taste it. _"Give yourself another chance.Your heart's made of gold. You deserve to be happy. Give yourself another chance. Give_ him _a new chance."_

He pulled back to look questionably at Dick, but still keeping him caged in his arms. "Maybe I don't want to." He couldn't help the frown that crept on his eyebrows. "Maybe I don't want to know that I can find someone to love like you. Maybe I don't want to know there's someone as good as you. Or . . . ."

Dick smiled. _"Kyle's not going to be my replacement. Just like you're not replacing Guy."_

"Yeah, I am. Everyone thinks I am. First, Bruce wanted to replace you with me, he tried to make me Dick Grayson. And now, Kyle's trying to fill Guy's spot with me. John's going to replace me as the Corps' fist. I'm . . . " He sighed. "I'm just tired, Dick." He stared at his beautiful beloved. "All I've ever asked . . . . All I've ever wanted, was a life with you. _You._ I just wanted _you_ . . . ."

 _I wasn't a bad guy. I never wanted to be a criminal. I just wanted to do the_ right thing.  _I wanted to save lives. I wanted to help, dammit. I didn't deserve it.  
_

 _"I know, baby."_   Dick said.  _"You're a hero. You lived through corruption, they tried to bury you, jail you, manipulate you, but you survived them all. You chose to be a good guy. And in all those circumstances,_ I  _wasn't there. It was_ you _who pulled yourself up. You're not a bad guy, Jason. You. Are. Not."_

"See? I  _need_ you in my life. You're the only one who believes in me."

 _"Oh, Jay."_ He shook his head slightly. _"For a detective, you're so clueless."_

He gave Dick a confusing look.

He continued. _"You're the only Green Lantern who couldn't even make ring talk to him. You were the son who lost it and all. But has anyone ever stopped teaching you how to use your ring? Has Bruce kept you locked up in Arkham and stopped welcoming you to the family?"_

He just stared at Dick.

_"No. They've never given up on you. And so shouldn't you."_

"Dick, I . . . "

 _"As long as you don't give up, you'll be a Green Lantern. And when you're a Lantern, you save lives. So, you'd be a hero. You'll be proving Bruce and the world wrong. That you're better than some stupid stereotype labels. You're Jason Todd, and you were destined for a great_ purpose."

"But I . . . ." _Need you._

 _"No, you don't. You just needed my_ love. _That's what you keep missing. The feeling you had with me. The memories. You miss love."_

He leaned closer and whispered between their lips. _"And you can always find love."_

He rasped. "But I can't."

 _"You can. You already have one in you. You're just pushing it away."_ He hooked an arm around Jason's neck to pull him even closer. _"Look at me. You made a construct_ this powerful. _Why do you think you couldn't do it before? What's a power lock in a weapon which works with will?"_

Jason devour the color of his eyes as he gulped and realized . . . .

"Fear."

Dick's eyes sparkled with joviality. _"That's my smart, little-wing."_

A beat. Another. And another . . . .

"I love you, Dick."

The smile his beloved gave him would carve in his heart forever. _"I love you, too."_

And he connected their lips together. Jason kissed him with all he got, crushed their lips for as long as possible. Lingered on those soft and plump lips, which never failed to feel good every single time. He had never wanted to kiss someone that bad in his entire life. He had never been addicted to kissing someone like that, either, so. He kissed, and kissed his beloved. Thought he'd never get tired of feeling his warm breath on his face, or the way he held him. He wanted none of it. He wanted all of it. He . . . . 

His eyes opened to stare at the crimson desert before him. Empty, endless, dark, lonely.

And there was no trace of Dick. Like, he was never there. Like . . . .

His eyes started to water. More and more until his vision became blurry.

_Like he was dead._

A few tears slipped on his cheeks.

Maybe Dick wasn't ever there. Maybe it was all a new game his ring had cooked for him again. Maybe . . . . 

Maybe that was just what he wanted.

A goodbye.

A kiss.

Dick.

Maybe all he wanted, was to just hear what's been eating his mind, by Dick's voice. Because, he knew when that man talked, he listened, Because, he knew when Dick said something, it must be true.

He had a backpack of regrets, and a chest filled with pain. Like the lonely wanderer in a cold alley.

Where should he have gone?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is actually a fact that if you concentrate hard enough, you can create construct with colors and sound. Like, Kilowog's blasts always makes a especial sound, and Jessica's ring talks informally with her. But even if that wasn't true, this chapter has been long planned. Bet you guys saw this coming tho ;)


	23. Chapter 23

"Where's he?" He growled to the face of the Lantern. "Why did you come alone? Isn't he supposed to be your _partner?"_

"Batman, I . . . ." Kyle Rayner faltered, his voice was rasped like he's been crying prior arriving to Oa.

"Where's Jason?" He stepped into the Lantern's personal zone to unease the man into overwhelming him.

"Hey, Bruce!" Hal Jordan's irritated voice reached his ears. "You have a weird obsession about making an entrance." He didn't turn, but he could feel the presence of the said Lantern behind him.

He didn't move from his stance, ignored all the cells in his being that screamed _'Hoist Jordan up and demand answers'_. He was Batman, he didn't need to be loud to make his point.

No matter how irritating the Lantern behind him was.

"But in case you don't read any newspapers back home, this is _the Green Lantern_ territory. You can't just barge in and yell at our people."

_No matter how much Hal deserved it._

"Do you even know who stands before you? An honor guard! We're not on Earth, where you could just boss everyone around like you own _everything."_

He spun around to face Hal. "Where. Is. My. Son?"

 _No matter how badly he wanted to do it._ He repeated to himself.

Hal scoffed. "Oh, stop with that shit already. We've got advanced equipments here, fancier than the gadgets in your belt. We did our homework, Bruce. I know who Jason is. And one thing clear here, is that he's _not_ your _son._   You didn't even raise that boy. What? Just 'cause he got a power ring now, he's suddenly your _SON__."_

He punched Hal on his talkative mouth. The Lantern stumbled backwards a bit, being taken aback. Jordan brought a hand to his lips, which was stained with blood from the solid impact. Bruce saw it coming, so he didn't budge when Hal's fist was connected to his jaw.

He allowed it. He was ready for that hit when he first brought his own balled hand to punch the Lantern. Hal was an honor guard, a former leader of an entire Corps, a known hero among the rest of the space cops, being humiliated by an outsider like that wasn't good for the Lanterns' impression. So, Bruce _allowed_ the hit to sit on his face, because that was the only way for Hal to show his superiority to the Corps. 

But damn if that wasn't worth it.

Jordan didn't seem to be satisfied with a single punch as he dashed forward to attack.

_Great, a dog fight. Just what he needed._

That inner voice in his head whispered how he was starting to think like Jason as Green hands reached between them to pull them apart.

He ignored all the cuss and revives Jordan threw his way as he was carried inside their department in a green construct. That damn thing was a bubble made out of thought, there was no way out of it. He couldn't escape from something which was made from cognition. And when he had no control over matters like that, he got _angry._

"Steward, put me down this fucking _instance!"_

Once inside the command center, he was dropped on the ground. He flipped to balance his land, and immediately bolted for the exist.

"Batman, Stop!"

A green glassy wall appeared, caging him inside.

He turned to glare at responsible Lantern. John Steward maintained eye contact as expected. Bruce used the opportunity to throw a Batarang at the green wall.

"Bat, I don't want to do this. But I will do what I have to if you don't stop this right__."

He brought his cape up to shield his face as the Batarang exploded and broke the green walls. He strode toward Steward.

"Why should I stop?" He growled. "My _son_ is being chosen as a space cop and Hal wouldn't even answer my call when I ask to see him. They all expect me to leave him be, let the Green Lanterns take care of him." He opened his arms wide to point at the place. "And now I come and see he's not even here, and nobody has any clue where he might be." He pushed an accusing hand to John's shoulder. "Why should I stop, huh? Isn't he supposed to be still in training?" Another push. "Isn't he supposed to have a _partner?"_

John scowled his eyebrows at him, but he allowed Bruce to do as he wished. He was a competence diplomat, a leader, he knew when to put others down and when to stay quiet. Bruce was still subconscious about his behavior. He knew it wasn't like him to lose his shit like that, but he was completely justified in his own head.

He traveled million of lights away in the universe to see Jason, and now that he was there, all he got as an answer was _"I don't know where Jason is."_ He had all the rights to be angry.

Maybe it was fear, maybe it was guilt. He didn't know. But one thing he knew for certain, was that Jason was still in training when he first went our as Robin, too. And he had the goddamn _Batman_ his partner when he died, too.

Jason was in training again, and he had another partner. Where the hell was he while his partner was _there?_

"Yes." Steward answered. "Kyle is his tutor, but he's not Jason's babysitter." John gritted.

"Tell me this, Steward. Is Jason ready to be a Green Lantern?"

Silence.

"He's one of _your_ agents. It's _your_ responsibility to keep track of him. He's not even a real Lan__."

"Batman, what the hell's wrong with you? First, you force two of our Lanterns to take you miles of light away from home, then you come and assault our honor guards."

"I merely asked him some questions."

"Bat." John gave him an unimpressed look. "You practically snarled at Kyle__."

"I was just asking__."

"Hell, you punched _Hal_ in the face, in front of all those people. You realize the mess you pulled there? He's the greatest Lantern among us, dammit. You _DO NOT_ just barge in here and _punch_ our greatest Lantern like that."

He stared at John. Even with the cowl, the man could tell Bruce had no regrets of what he did. He'd do it again if he could.

"I should just send you back on Earth. Disrespect, assault, physical attack on an honor guard? This fury is not like you, Bat."

"John, you _know_ Jordan. Why are you telling me this?" He couldn't help the wince that escaped through his tone.

"I know sometimes he can be difficult to deal with, but that was an irrational move on you, and you know it yourself."

"You heard what he said. He__."

"I know what he said. And . . . . " He lowered his voice, as if he was going to reveal a secret. "And I understand why you reacted the way you did. You had all the rights to do so. But you're only being pessimistic. Jason's a rookie, but he's also a capable Lantern. Kyle wouldn't have left him if he didn't know Jason would be fine."

He just stared at the Lantern before him. It was like he was looking at a much younger Batman who had the same reckless attitude about taking a rookie Robin on the streets.

"Just like I know you needed to hear this out loud to take closure."

"I didn't need to hear it. I already knew it." He said flatly.

"Of course." John nodded. "Well, now Kyle's headed off to bring Ja__ your son, here." He gestured toward a chair. "For now, you'll be waiting in this room."

When he didn't make any moves, John just strolled past him, but before he could leave, he called for him again. "Batman."

He turned to spare a look at him through his shoulder.

"I'm sorry for your loss . . . . . Nightwing was one of the greatest heroes."

An awkward silence surrounded them. He didn't respond, and John didn't leave, either.

Bruce gulped the urge to grab his hands in a fist. "So was Gardner. I'm sorry, too." Honestly, he wasn't quite sure how he managed to sound that calm.

"Yeah." He heard a mumble, and the door was closed.

He sighed and looked around the room. He might have as well used that chair offered to him. He sat on the comfortable chair and started thinking. They knew of Jason's history, and they yet to take his power ring away. They knew of his history with Batman, and they didn't bother to keep him in contact about his state.

Why was Jason still there? Did he even know Bruce was coming there? How could he agree to leave the vigilant life in favor of being a space cop? Was that his way of moving forward? Of starting a new beginning? Of forgiving himself and maybe Bruce, too?

God, he hoped so. He damn _hoped_ it was the case. Because he himself still couldn't shake off from those memories.

 

 

* * *

 

 

_Heavy drops of rain hit the window._

_He hated it. He didn't need it. He wanted to be alone. He hated the colorful meals on the table. He didn't need the comfort his friends genuinely expressed. He just wanted to be left by himself._

_His SON was dead._

_That was why all those people were at his house. That was why all those unbidden pats on the shoulder and all those offers in support were thrown back and forth. That was why Damian and Tim weren't bickering anymore. That was why Alfred couldn't be the perfect British butler he was for his guests. That was why Jason was going to come to his house again._

_Because Dick was dead._

_And everything was drained of color. It was all grey._

_Everything tasted salty. It was the ill tears._

_Everything smelled like venom. It was suffocating._

_Everything was cold. They have lost their sun._

_"What the fuck is this?"_

_Sounds of broken glasses was heard from the hall. Everyone hurried there only to be met with that red bull of rage._

_Jason flipped the table, which the foods their guests had brought were on. He kicked the plates on the ground and shouted. "What the hell is this doing here? WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HERE?"_

_"Jason . . . . "_

_The boy whipped his head toward him. Fire was pouring out of glare, his eyes were red, his hair was dripping with rain tears, lips trembling and skin pale as the walls._

_"Bruce, you_ FUCK!"  _He stepped forward to attack him, but his guests held him back. Guests, he didn't even know himself. He only had eyes on Jason, struggling furiously against their hands, shouting and reviving the sky and ground._

 _"You BASTARD. Why did you invite these people? Why are you doing this, you cunt! Wasn't it enough the last time? Didn't you use him once for your own fuck job? ANSWER ME, BRUCE! Didn't you have_ ENOUGH OF HIM?"

_The only sound in the room was Jason's ragged breaths and the poison words he shot at him._

_"I swear to God, you motherfucker, I'm gonna_ KILL YOU  _this time. Tell them to fuck off!! Get the fuck_ OUT OF HERE.  _It's all BULLSHIT!! It's one of Bruce's sick games again. He's playing us. He's done it before. He's done it to HIM before . . . ._ BRUCE!! . . . .  _Let me_ GO _! I'm gonna kill him . . . . I'm gonna . . . . He . . . . " His voice broke. It wasn't merely drops of rain on his face anymore._

_He was silently crying._

_"Why did you let him go?" Jason sobbed, still weakly struggling against the alien hands holding him back. "Why didn't you save him? . . . ._ WHY? _Why're you always late? Huh? It wasn't ME. It was the fucking goldie. It was . . . . " He started yelling. "You did it. YOU killed him, DAMMIT. YOU killed, Dick__."_

_He walked up to him and punched Jason on the face, yanked his hem up to hit him even more, but alien hands pulled him back. Jason jerked forward to get free._

_"Master, Bruce!"_

_"Jason!"_

_"Let him go!__"_

_"Calm down! BOTH OF YOU!"_

_"Get the hell out of my house."_

_"Bruce, stop it!__"_

_"I'm gonna fucking GUT you."_

_"GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE, dammit."_

_"Buddy, please calm__."_

_"This is_ MY FAMILY." _He shouted. "Leave me the fuck alone. GO. Get the hell out of here. NOW._ ALL OF YOU."

_"Okay, okay. We'll leave, just . . . calm down__."_

_"I said OUT!!!"_

_"I'm going to ask you to leave politely."_

_"But, Alfred__."_

_"Exit door is that way."_

_Those strangers hands finally left them._

_It was him and Jason now._

_His fist was shaking beside him, he couldn't remember the breathing practice that cooled his anger. He didn't know anything right then. Just Jason, his furious look, his wretched eyes, and his words that stabbed him like a dagger._

_He couldn't see anything other than Jason. He couldn't hear anything other than his voice, ringing in his ears. He couldn't feel anything other than the sheer rage radiating from Jason. Couldn't taste anything but the nasty, salty grief._

_"Please . . . . " Jason's voice cracked. "Bruce . . . . Please." A sniff. "Please stop this shit . . . . . tell me it's all wrong. T-tell me. This is another sick mission . . . . Bruce, tell me." His arms were dropped lifelessly beside his body, his shoulders fallen. He looked ready to crash on the floor, but nevertheless, he walked up to him._

_Jason hit his heavy fists to his shoulder, and Bruce let him . He stood there, and let Jason accuse him, blame him, curse him, hate him even more, because he deserved it._

_Because he was right._

_"This is all your damn fault." His voice was broken, but his words sharp and biting. "Why don't you say anything, you asshole? What the hell should I say to make you talk?"_

_He just stared at Jason._

_"Lie to me, Bruce. Tell me he's okay. Tell me he's_ somewhere _and_ ALIVE . . . .  _PLEASE . . . . I-I can__."  A hitched breath. "I c-can't, Bruce. Please."_

_The storm behind Bruce's eyes broke and slipped on his face. Nothing mattered then. He didn't know anybody then. He just knew Dick, and he was the only one who mattered._

_Dick, his son, who made all those tears._

_Dick, Jason's beloved, who made all that desperation._

_Dick Grayson, that angel kid . . . ._ _Who was dead now._

_And . . .He, the goddamn Batman, couldn't do_ anything  _about it._

_He didn't want it, but he couldn't do anything about it. He could only offer his sorrowful expression, and his tears of grieve. He was that much useless._

_Upon seeing his miserable eyes, Jason's face twisted in sadness. He was pleading Bruce with his eyes._  

'Please don't do this to me.'

 _Bruce's eyes answered. ''_ I'm sorry.'

_Their shoulders started to shake as they sobbed, and wept to their loss. Their knees didn't budge as they fell. Shared their grieve through their watery eyes, but never dared to reach one another. He has never heard Jason cry, he has never seen Jason break down like that, not in front of all those people. But it felt familiar, comforting, reachable, a necessary presence before him._

_He pulled Jason in his embrace, and that action made them cry even louder. It broke something in both of them. His head was exploding, his face was pouring heat. What the hell was he thinking? This was his son, too._

_Jason._

_His son.  
_

 

 


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm SO sorry for such a late update, but you know... life's been pretty tough, so...  
> I hope you enjoy it ;)))

Where was Jason?

His ring scanned for his vital frequency as he patrolled the million sectors. Kyle finally found him in an uninhabited planet. It wasn't hard to detect him. He was like a black dot in a reddish desert. Literally. He stood before the man. Jason looked the same as he left him. Casual clothes, laying on the dirt, with a green air-conditioner before him__.

Wait a second . . . .

"Is that . . . ."

"You were right about blue being the color of hope." Jason said without turning to look at him. His voice sounded hoarse, but there was no hints of being taken aback in his body language.

Unlike him, Kyle was too shocked to say anything. All of a sudden, he was filled with so much energy and excitement. _Jason finally made a construct._ Was that how fathers felt when they first watched their kids walk?

Seeing the new Lanterns being successful was all the satisfaction he needed. Especially in such a sophisticated case like Jason.

But then he remembered why he was out of energy in the first place . . . . .

Jason continued. "I had lots of times alone here to find all sorts of blue in the sky, and . . . . . Look at that. I made a construct." But he didn't sound all that excited from his new discovery.

"Cool." Kyle said, deliberately trying to sound unimpressed. "But party time's over. We need to get back to Oa."

"I don't want to."

"I think the air-conditioner is too loud. Can you hear yourself? You sound like a child."

Jason rolled his eyes. "We get it, Rayner. You're _pissed."_

He swore, the nerve that guy had!

"Yeah, that's one way to describe it. _Pissed."_

Jason closed his eyes. "Sorry you feel that way." He seemed calm for someone whose voice didn't sound any better than Kyle's own.

"Whatever." He mumbled. "We gotta__."

"Now that I passed the last level of a space cop." Jason jumped in. "I just found a lot of questions."

"Jason__."

"Like, why's our costume so _tight?_ I mean, we're not gymnasts or something! Why should we fight in spandex? Also, why does our rings sound like a butler? I swear, it feels like Alfred's talking behind the com-lines with me."

Kyle bit his lips. "You miss home?" He asked as a matter of fact, because he was acquainted with the butler Jason was referring to.

Jason's green-blue eyes opened. "Not really."

He folded his arms against his chest. "Well, if you're not gonna miss home, then _home_ is going to miss you."

"I don't care."

"I think you should. Especially, when this _home_ of yours is going  to come to you personally."

"It's not important."

"It is when your home _punches_ Hal in the face."

Jason chuckled and ran a hand over his face. "You're starting to sound tempting. Hal being punched? That asshole can't punch my favorite Lantern."

He waited for Jason to go on, but noting came up. He tapped his foot impatiently on the ground to deliver his message. They had an angry Batman waiting for them on Mogo for God's sake. _Move your ass already, Jay._

After a minute of silent, Jason turned his face toward him. "You didn't answer my questions. You call yourself a teacher?"

"I'll answer them when we're back__."

"I'm not moving till you talk to me."

He took a deep breath, just so he could swallow the urge to snap. "Batman has arrived on Oa, and I think he's definitely going to kill someone if we don't go there _right now."_

"I wish he would, but . . . .  false dream, really."

"Well, for your information, sir, he almost cut my head off__." He groaned out of frustration. "I can't even hear you properly. Why's there an air-conditioner here? It's not even hot here."

"Yeah, but I am." Jason gave him a knowing grin. "Get it? 'cause I'm hot and__."

He mentally winced to that statement. "Who would've thought space drinks could make you sound like you've smoked weed?"

"Because I'm practically on cloud nine?"

Ugh, not with the puns. "Okay, I'm _SO_ done. This isn't what I imagined to walk in."

Jason laughed lightly, and for some reasons, it made Kyle want to homophone with him. It made him wish he was the one who drew that sound out of Jason. But he was still sober enough to know Jason's body was reacting to alien alcohol.

"What? Did you expect to find me in an utopia with a magazine, jerking off?"

A laughter slipped his throat before he could take a grasp of his action. He swore under his lips. What the hell was Jason talking about? They supposedly had an argument back at the bar, Jason still smelled of the drink he poured over the man, and Jason _knew_ what kind of hell was waiting for him in Mogo, but . . . . here he was, giving him bullshit.

"Alright, if you don't get up now, I'm gonna take you there by force__."

"Why do they call you Torchbearer?" Jason asked out of nowhere. "I never heard anyone call Hal or John that." He locked eyes with Kyle. ". . . . . Just you."

He uncrossed his arms. For some reasons, not so foreign to him, he was overwhelmed by that stare.

_Fine. Have it your way._

"Ring, this is honor guard Rayner. Requesting emergency__."

"Please."

He paused and looked at Jason. Did he heard right? Did Jason just . . . . 

"Bruce's here to take me back. Let's stop pretending it's otherwise for a minute, okay?" Jason sat up to properly look at him. "As soon as I land a foot there, he's going to drag my ass back to that fucking cell in Gotham, and there's no shit you could've done. Any of you. I'll fight, Hal will argue, John will probably try to reason with him, and you . . . . . well, you're going to sit back and let him." He turned his eyes sideway and mumbled. "Whatever." A long pause. "He'll have his way. He always does. He's the motherfucking _BATMAN."_

Kyle was a bit taken by the pain in his voice, which spoke of how hurt he truly was inside. He gulped, he had to choose his next words carefully. Jason may not be have been so high like he initially thought.

"That's . . . . That's not how he sounded when he barged here. He looked ready to put the place on fire when he heard you're out there all by yourself. While he might not like us, he approves of the Lantern's concept itself. Why would he want to . . . . take you away?"

"Because I'm a criminal and that's what comes on top in that clan."

He stared at the vigilant on the ground. "Jason . . . " He had no idea what to say to that. Because, Batman and Justice? It was a closed case itself. It left no room for debate. "I could . . . . Like, if you want . . . ."

"This might be the last time I'd be out here for all I know. The last time I'd wear this ring." He gazed at the ring on his left hand. "It was on the wrong hand since the beginning anyway." He played with the ring on his finger. "Funny, isn't it? I  _JUST_ found out its power lock, and now . . . ." He gave a hollow chuckle. 

Silence.

God, that guy was making it hard. Fucking DIFFICULT. _Oh, there you go. Swearing already?_

"So, let me have it. This moment." Jason's eyes turned on him again. "I got some questions. This is the last chance. I wann know them."

"Jay . . . ."

"Here's the thing. You can ask me anything you want, too. How's that?"

He just stared at the man before him. Was he the same Jason Todd from a few hours ago, or was a kid in a grownup body?

It was quiet. It was quiet for too long. He was thinking too much about it. To hell with Batman and the Corps. He finally sighed and sat beside Jason on the dirt. _THIS_ was important. Jason, talking, and just them, all alone. 

Maybe this was what he needed, too.

"Ganthet calls me Torchbearer for keeping the light of the will shinning single-handedly during the dark times. When I was the only Green Lantern in the universe, and fought with Parallax__."

"Okay, okay, I think I get it." Jason cut him off. "Kyle Rayner, the hero of the year." He made a dismissing hand gesture. "Just ask your question."

A smile tugged itself on his lips. _"You_ asked__."

"NEXT."

This time, he actually chuckled. The first real light laugh.

"Alright. What was the power lock of your ring?"

Jason bit the inside of his cheek and murmured something.

"I'm sorry. What was that?" Grinning while being completely aware of what the man just said.

"Fear!" Jason said louder.

"I KNEW IT!" He threw a fist up in the air as a sign of victory. "I _told_ you the first day of practice, but you just decided to play it hard, you stubborn jerk."

"What the fuck are you talking about? I don't remember shit."

"What the__." He looked unbelievably at the man. "Your fist practice. Remember Kilowog punched you in the face? And then you went crazy and tried to attack all of us?"

Jason raised an eyebrow at him. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You _SO_ do, you__."

"__Next fucking question."

He closed his mouth, but never ceasing the knowing smile.

 


	25. Chapter 25

It started out as innocent questions, and it developed into something deeper. It seemed something foreigner to ever happen between them, but there they were, having a heart to heart talk. Disguised behind the mask of an answer and question game.

It was happening.

They were really doing it. Opening up to each other, gradually, step by step, question by question. They were so obvious to the path their little discussion was leading, but they kept going anyway.

It was turning into something personal, they could see it coming, but none of them backed off. Maybe it was for the better, maybe that was what they both needed, maybe that was their last chance. They didn't say it, but that bitter truth was sitting like a grey elephant between them.

Kyle brushed it aside. He was overthinking it again. He always tended to do that. He was the artist, the one who wore his heart out for all to see, but still, when it came to emotional stuff he found himself the insecure one in the conversation. Thinking too much, making a big deal out of the situation and caring more than the matter at hand deserved.

"What's the weirdest thing you've seen in space?" He asked.

Jason hummed a bit. "A disco-head alien with Rockstar hair?"

That elicited a chuckle from him. "That's not weird."

"Yeah? You got anything weirder, mister perfect?"

"I . . . ."

He felt his face heating up by being called that. He wasn't a . . . . _mister perfect_ , he wanted to argue, but he let it slide away, he didn't want to cause another uncomfortable episode between them.

"When I first got a ring, everyone thought I was Hal. When they found out I wasn't _him_ . . . . well, it was pretty awkward. I felt like an idiot."

"Yeah, I know the feeling." Jason nodded and stared at the orange sun going down. "It was pretty much the same thing for me when I first became Robin."

Of course it was. That was what came with being the replacement of a greater hero. The high expectation, the pressure, the self-doubts, the frustration of not being appreciated for the hard work they put in their job. He's been through them all.

And so was Jason apparently.

If anything, he could grasp Kyle's complicities better than anyone. It was the first and most obvious common ground between them. Jason was the replacement of the world's coolest sidekick, and Kyle was the replacement of Earth's greatest Green Lantern.

That was plenty of reasons to get along with each other. How come they never saw that connection? It's always been right there between them. He guested they were too blinded in hating each other's guts to ever notice that, or simply never _wanted_ that bond to be discovered.

But they came a _long way_ from those years. Kyle could tell by Jason's knowing eyes that he was having the same thought in his head, too.

"Okay, my turn." He licked his lips. "How did you . . . . you know, overcome that power lock?"

"You mean how did I overcome my _fears?"_ Even though Jason didn't show it, his voice leaked of a smug smirk, which was . . . .strange to say the least.

Last time Kyle brought up Jason's fears, the man ended up losing his mind to his ring, so who could blame Kyle for being caution?

"Yeah." He responded.

Jason paused for a minute, seeming a bit . . . . confused?

"I . . . ." he cleared his throat. "I faced my fears and . . . . let them go, I guess."

"Yeah? What did you learn then?" He asked, enjoying it more than he should.

"That fear is the dark cave of your desperate hours, but courage is the light that leads you out. The tricky thing is that they both come from within. To find courage with you, you must first know fear."

He totally wasn't expecting to be praised for the good tutor he was, but _that_ wasn't what he imagined to hear, either. "That doesn't sound like you _at all._ Who told you that?"

Jason perched a knee up and rested his arm on it. "My first construct . . . ."

"Your first construct?"

He looked straight to the horizon. "Dick."

"Dick . . . . As is, Nightwing, or . . . ."

The vigilant's head whipped toward him, and with a completely series voice said. "Yeah, the first thing I'd make would be a giant dick who gives me pep talk about my flaws. Because, sure, I always listen to my balls, they're so wise, you know."

That elicited a laughter from him. "Dude, this is series business."

Jason shrugged his shoulders. "My dick's no joke. And besides, since you like it so much, I figured . . . . " He turned a sly grin at Kyle. "You know, bring it up to lighten up the mood."

_Jason, that flirty guy!_

"Firs of all, _you're_ a joke." He kind of wished he could hide the amusement in his voice. "And second, I think I pretty much like your other Dick better."

He expected to hear a teasing snort or a cocky comment, but nothing came. Jason kept quiet.

"I can see why you made a construct of Nightwing, though." Kyle continued. "He's probably the only one who could knock some senses to you. Literally."

Silence.

Other than the slow raise and fall in his chest, Jason remained unraveled. He stared at a particular spot on the red dirt, and didn't utter a word. Like, he was in deep thoughts and didn't even hear Kyle. The Lantern gazed upon him, maybe longer than it was considered polite, but . . . . . Jason didn't seem to notice him. He was drown in his own mind.

"Was."

Jason's small voice reached his ears, so small Kyle doubted he even heard it.

He was a bit puzzled about that single word. "Uh . . . . what?"

"Was." Jason repeated. "Nightwing _was_ the only one I listened to."

"Are you . . . . you mean, you guys are in bad terms, or something?"

"I _mean_ he WAS and he can't be that person anymore."

He kept silence, processing the new information, trying to connect the dots. _WAS and he can't anymore . . . ._ He didn't want to think about the worse scenario, because it was impossible, it couldn't happen, right? . . . . and, to . . . .

Nightwing?

He was almost about to ask if Jason was pulling his legs, but his eyes fell on the man and that made him pause his action.

Jason, Guy's replacement, wearing the ring of a man who was no more as well. The bitter reality reminded him of how delicate they were. They were only humans, they hurt, they live, they die . . . . . If Guy could cease to exist, why couldn't anyone else?

"I'm . . . . I'm sorry, Jay. I . . . . I really don't know what to say, I . . . ."

Why didn't Jason ever tell him that? Kyle felt much worse knowing he didn't attend the funeral of a great hero like Nightwing. But . . . . how could anyone not tell him about that loss? Jason died, Hal died, Batman died, Guy died, hell, _he_ died himself, too. He'd understand, he's been through it more than he deserved. Did anyone even know?

"Don't worry." Jason's voice didn't crack, but it still sounded small. "None of the Green Lanterns came. Bruce said you guys were vanished at the time, or something like that."

Kyle felt like an idiot. He should've known, he should've been there, he should've . . . . 

"But . . . . how?"  After the realization, it became difficult for him to find the right words to say.

"They framed him . . . basically, his teammates were fighting a bunch of villians. One of them was a sorcerer. She let him believe there were some kids in the building, and he ran over to save those fake kids . . . ." He sucked in a breath, which made Kyle regret ever asking that question. "The building exploded on him."

His throat threatened to be filled with a knit of sorrow at the mention of that. The change of atmosphere was too abrupt for him to accommodate with. He was triggered by bad memories.

He could still feel Guy burning to ashes right before his own eyes, hear his ring ticking the seconds he had left while Kyle was desperately trying to get back up . . . . 

"I-I'm sorry . . . ."

He couldn't lose his shit in front of Jason, he told himself. He couldn't cry, he wasn't alone in Guy's room anymore. He was with Jason . . . . the man who had his family burned alive as well . . . . 

"I'm here if you ever wanted to talk about it." He offered, even though he knew it would never be picked up. But he had to give it anyway. He knew he had to.

"I'm here for you." Kyle repeated.

Jason turned his head to lock eyes with him. Those dark turquoise eyes, looking green in the sunlight, but gradually shifting to blue under the moonlight. Eyes with long, but straight eyelashes, which you wouldn't notice unless you've spent the night gazing at his sleeping face. He always knew there was something underneath the depth of that sea, he could see it now. That sad agate held more than anger and beauty.

"I don't get you people. Dick was the same, too. How . . . . just _how_ do you move forward from something like that?" Jason asked and this time, it was him who was giving the Lantern a puzzled look.

It certainly didn't happen at one night. He wasn't always like that, but he learned it for the sake of being a decent hero. Alex, Jade, Donna, his mother, his friends, all those deaths. His life was getting overwhelming, he needed to learn a way to live on.

"Well, Superman once told me humanity needs to be self-reliant. Ganthet advised me that past should remain untouched. And . . . . ." He bit his lips. "My father taught me there are ways of righting the wrong . . . . by moving forward and not coming back."

Jason just rolled his eyes and scoffed. "Yeah, thanks for the motivation boost. Already feeling pumped up to forget everything in my past. Thanks for being such a boy scout. Really, you nailed it. Superman's gotta be so proud." He gave Kyle a teasing thumbs up.

He stared at the man for a bit, tried to show through eye contact that he wasn't fazed by Jason's abrupt rejection. So, he started slowly. "I felt loss, Jason. I understand the anger that comes with an empty hole in your chest. But I found the _will_ to get past it."

He constructed a backrest, leaned against it and continued. "I made mistakes, I lost people, I . . . . I failed. But if I allowed myself to stay in the past, then I wouldn't've become who I am today."

A minute pasted with silence. "You like being a Green Lantern, don't you?" Jason asked while resting against his own backrest as well.

Kyle hummed. He _loved_ being a Green Lantern. Even though, there were times he missed home, times he lost dear friends, times he had to bear hardship, or the fact that he never got paid or thanked for what he did. Even though his girlfriend would burn a sign on his chest, even though all alien drinks tasted as bitter as poison. Even though he always had to leave his pensile and sketchbook behind, to the point where his constructs would all be giant art supplies.

It didn't matter. Because he loved it. Because he was a hero.

He continued. "When I was a kid, I never could decide what I wanted to be when I grew up. Now I know." Jason looked right back at him. "I'm a Green Lantern. I'm a hero."

"It must be good, knowing where you stand in life." All the mock had disappeared from his voice. "Nobody was sure if I was going to be a hero or something else. I'm not what my parents wanted me to be. And I'm not what Bruce wanted me to be.

"But I'm okay with it."

Kyle smiled at that. Genuine and admiring. He was once again reminded of how much Jason had changed. It was a Hercules task to get someone like Jason out of his old habits. Whoever was responsible for that, should be given a noble price.

"I did . . . . you know, I killed people before, right? That may not seem like such a big deal to you guys, some heroes' killed for the greater good. Superman, Wonder Woman, your leader. But it's a huge deal for someone like Batman. He cares about that shit more than he does about his . . . . ." A pause. "Well . . . . himself."

Kyle kept silence, let Jason sort out what he was trying to deliver.

"When I'm filling a bullet to a scum's head, I don't think it's wrong. I think . . . . That I'm doing the right thing. I think I'm helping people. I think I'm a hero. But then Bruce pops up and tells me I'm no better than villians by taking someone's life. People encourage me to keep doing what I do, because they believe in my cause. They think I'm doing the right thing, too. But, sometimes, I can hear that damn voice in my head, telling me it's _wrong_ and messed up, and . . . . I hate that I listen to it. But I do, and . . . ."

Jason rested his head back. "You say you found the will to get past all this . . . . well, mine's a bit fucked up, I guess. Because it was actually _the ring_ that found the will in me."

"Jason, the ring just detected what was already within you. It was _you_ who__."

"Rayner, stop. I . . . I don't know what the hell's going to happen when we go back to Oa. So, I just wanted you to know . . . . ." Jason licked his lips nervously. "I was a jerk to you, since day one, and I'm not only talking about coming here, you know." When he received a nod from Kyle, he went on. "You're a good guy, you've always been. Don't expect me to say sorry 'cause you were a jerk yourself, too. But . . . . at least, I can do this."

Kyle waited, held his breath and didn't back off from those green-blue eyes.

"Thank you. For listening to me . . . for . . . for being _there."_ Jason finally said and turned his head away, closing his eyes.

Kyle used that opportunity to stare a bit more at him. Before arriving there, all he wanted to do was to fly away in outer space, where he wouldn't have to see Jason's face again. The face he wanted to punch so hard, but when confronted with, wanted to suck his features up, whether in his mouth or on a paper, it didn't matter. He just knew he didn't want to hit it anymore.

Like, right then, where the orange and yellow radiates of alien sun brightened his skin, created shadows on his features and made him appear sharper, more handsome, lost in his thoughts, a picture that made a lot of artists drool over sketching.

Vulnerable, inspiring, beautiful . . . . . 

But not his to draw, to kiss, to love and cherish each part . . . . 

His hand reached up to rub slowly on the wound on his chest. Soranik's voice whispered in the back of his head.

_"Your fear. Fear that I'd be the love you let slide away."_

There was no love there.

Or . . . . was it?

_If I had the courage to stand before you, would anything be different?  
_

Was he referring to Guy, or Jason? 

Sora's wound invisibly ached. Giving him a warning, a reminder, an answer. _"You fear a wounded heart."_

It didn't matter. Death parted him from the friendship that could bloom into something more, and now, the force of the nature, Batman, was presumably going to come between his new friendship. Him and Jason. Old allies, rivals at some point, and finally, the teacher and the student.

What was next?

"You're welcome." He murmured to himself.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guy!  
> First of, I can't express just HOW SORRY I AM! Really!!! I've been dealing with A LOT at once and . . . . Idk. The thing is, I'm going through a lot of stuff and I don't want to whine or bring excuses or whatever, but though I'd let you guys know that I'm not being a lazy ass. My internet is messed up too, so I'm REALLY sorry that I couldn't respond to all those sweet, gorgeous, wonderful comments. Thank you guys, you rock and even though I suck on the other hand, thanks for being here. 
> 
> I wanted to write the next one RIGHT AFTER this one, but now I just . . . . REALLY can't do it right now. So, the next update won't come until tomorrow.  
> Thanks SOOO much for all your support and your lovely presence here. I honestly love ALL of you guys, but I especially gotta thank you yardenise and OfficiallyRobin. I owe you guys BIG time bc you always cheered me up when I was at my lowest. Is there ANYWAY I can make it up to you guys?
> 
> Enjoy (^_^)

It couldn't get more awkward than this, Hal decided.

He sat with the rest of the Lanterns around a table, as far from the command center, and that _asshole,_ as possible. His companies were Simon, crossing his arms against his board chest and looking away, pretending to be in deep thoughts. There was Jessica, biting her lips and gazing from Lantern to another, she still wasn't used to seeing alien faces as much as Simon, it made sense. And there was Iolande, Arisa, and surprisingly, Salaak by his side. Kilowog was off on a mission, but Hal wasn't sure even he would've been of any help.

It was for better he wasn't there to catch the scene of Hal being caught off guard by the fucking _Batman_ of all people. Maybe Kilowog would've only made the matters worse by laughing his ass out before that scene, something that was more likely to happen. Hal's never wished for something bad to happen to the universe than that moment, so he could fly away from all those eyes. Sure, he was an honor guard, a superior officer, he could ditch that little table and wander anywhere on the planet he yearned. And of course, his friends wouldn't second doubt his abilities by a single pathetic hit . . . . 

Actually, that was exactly what he hated the most, and unfortunately believed to be true, too.

Call it egotistic, or pride, but he knew he was a mature man, and he'd never run away to sulk like babies after being hit. He got punched? What did it matter? He took a hit from worst. He and Guy used to punch the hell out of each other for greetings. He wouldn't shy away from those judgmental eyes, even if he wanted to sink in the ground by each passing second.

He liked to think it was his disturbed dignity talking in his head, telling him to sit the fuck where he was. And wait . . . . 

It was nothing, he repeated with himself. He had his own sweet turn, too. Maybe he came off a bit too harsh on Bruce initially, maybe he should've tried a different approach knowing the state of mind the man clearly was suffering from. Maybe he should've listened to that wise inner thought who kept telling him to keep his boiling temper in check.

But at the sight of Batman hovering over his friend, demanding answers like he was talking to a street scum, his mind was no different than a concert. That whisper of logic was lost in the mere shout in his head.

_Who did that fucker think he was?_

Way to go voice of logic. He talked shit to Batman and now he was forced to bear with that awkward sitting.

Nobody looked directly at one another, they were quiet and it wasn't the comfortable silent he was used to. It was that uneased silent where you knew everybody were thinking about you, but didn't say shit because they didn't want to tell the wrong thing to offend you.

Who the hell did _this_ fucker think he was?

"Uh . . . " Jessica's unsure voice broke the silence. "This might not sound like the right thing to say right now, but . . . . I'm actually pretty excited to meet the new Lantern." She gave them all a smile.

Well . . . That came out of blue. He got it, though. It must've felt nice not being the newbie anymore. Yeah, Hal knew all about that.

For a while nobody said anything, either, until Salaak decided to change it. "He was a trouble maker since the first day. I don't quite think there has ever been a Lantern like that boy before. And we have passed training sessions with _Guy Gardner."_

"I know, Bats aren't really favored here, but I still think they're cool. How bad could it be?"

 _We'd have a mini Bat brat of our own, that's how bad it could get._ Hal thought bitterly.

"You've been in a room with only _one_ Bat right about now, and an intergalactic clash between us and those Bats almost happened in a matter of _seconds."_ Simon said and nodded, completely arrogant to the fact that Hal was sitting there with them. "Trust me, you _really_ should stop that wishful thinking."

Silence.

"Uh . . . . I mean." Simon faked a cough. "Here we are, finally giving in to his order and brought him here against our better judgements." He sneaked glances at Hal to make sure the honor guard got his point.

Hal wasn't born yesterday for God's sake. Yeah, he got it. _Batman punched him in the face._ Now guess who had enough of that awkward table?

Utterly ignoring Simon's words that slipped his mouth, he asked. "Why haven't they come back?"

Rayner and the Bat-brat.

The Lanterns look at each other searching for answers. Finally Arisa said. "Perhaps, they turned to a complicity on their way?"

"Unlikely. Otherwise Salaak wouldn't be here." He stood up. "I'll go check on them."

"Don't waste your charge, Hal. If something were to happen Kyle would have contacted Oa, or requested for aid. I'm sure they're fine." Iolande sounded more convincing, but . . . .

Even the suns in Mogo had set down. Wherever Jason and Kyle were, they've been gone for a long time.

"Still, I need to see for myself."

With that being said, he flew to space.

"Ring, find me Lantern Rayner's location."

_"Location found. Sector 0004. Planet Koron. Transluminal space proceeded."_

He entered the atmosphere and spotted the aforesaid Lantern and the boy in question beside him.

_"Destination reached."_

Upon his arrival, Kyle stood up. "Hal."

Jason acknowledged him by giving him a nod.

"What the hell took you so long?" Straight to the point, he was _NOT_ in the mood.

"We, uh . . . . We were just talking."

"Talking, huh? . . . ." He wanted to snap at them, but on second thought, maybe not, because "Yeah, there's a graduated A _asshole_ in Oa. I can see how you didn't feel like coming sooner."

He was never going to let it go, he marked his words.

Jason snorted lightly, now standing next to Kyle. "Now you clearly see why he's my favorite Green Lantern, right?" He sent a smirk at Kyle's direction and turned a playful beam at Hal. "Welcome to the _'Fuck, Batman'_ club. You're probably going to be an honored member."

Hal decided, he liked this kid.

"I'm sure bane actually has that _'Fuck, Batman'_ club thing in Gotham. Real deal. You've checked?"

Kyle gave them both an unimpressed look. Hal just ignored that brat fan-boying over someone he and Jason were making fun of, as lame as it sounded. But meh, gotta give the boy credit for having the guts to do such thing in the first place.

"Everyone in Gotham has, except maybe . . . ." Jason shook his head. "Nah, Al's a yes, too."

Of course he was a yes. He couldn't imagine anyone who hasn't said 'Fuck Bruce' at least once in their lives, even the ones who didn't know him personally. 

It was a good thing to talk shit behind Bruce's back with his own son, but they still got work to do there. 

"This sounds like a fun conversation, really, but you're late as it is now. They're starting to get worried." He said.

"Hey. I'm going to kick Bruce's ass for you." Jason replied, not sounding so frisky anymore.

"Thanks for the offer, but I already took care of it."

"Yeah, I know. But I'll do it anyway." No smile apparent on his boyish face.

"Honestly, I think you two are the King and Queen of drama." Kyle butted in. "Just stop making a big deal out of it. So Batman's in Oa. That shouldn't be a surprised to anyone."

Hal and Jason turned to give him a look.

"Because he's Batman! For God's sake." Kyle winced.

"You know what, Rayner." Jason said. "If you had the same attitude about me that you save for Batman when we were on the multiverse travel, I would've actually approved of you and Donna."

"So you admit you had a crush on my girlfriend." Kyle crossed his arms against his chest, looking all smug and sounding cocky.

"I had a crush on a badass warrior named Troy. She was an _amazon_. You know about them, right?" He nodded his head. "Yeah, they're totally out of your league. So . . . . I didn't have the hots for _your_ girl."

"Again, all I'm hearing is just a blunt confession. And excuse _you._ Who's out of whose league? For your information, sir, I'm _everyone's_ type."

"Who told you that? Your _hand_ on your lonely nights?" Jason laughed at his own joke. Kyle hit him on the back of his head. Hal expected Jason to react to it, or at least dodge it like he so skillfully was capable of. But Jason didn't do anything. He laughed at Kyle's sour expression and let it slide. 

Knowing Batman's Robins, Jason would've never let anyone do that to him. And more strangely, _Kyle_ would've never done that to anyone.

It was a wonder to him that _how_ couldn't they see that side of themselves? So fitting, so frisky, so hostile, yet, so intimate. They threw back jeers, but their tone divulged a friendly meaning.

If he was in the right mood, he would've teased them about how cute they looked together. But he just stayed quite and enjoyed the amiable interaction.

Sure, they were the human versions of Tom and Jerry. constantly bickering and chasing each other. But they always seemed to work out just fine when it was the two of them. Hal could easily see them as long friends. They knew it, too. They just liked to play it difficult for themselves by pushing and pulling back and forth.

Hal would know better. He had once caught Jason pressing Kyle to a wall and ravishing his mouth with such hunger and passion he . . . . 

He did a mental face slap. It was _Kyle_ he was thinking about here. Damn mental images.

The point that they put on a fight on display for the rest but played the forbidden lovers when they thought no one was watching, still remained. 

He thought about talking to Kyle about it, but then turned the idea down. Kyle was a grown up man, he knew his partner, and he knew what he was up against. Hal trusted he knew how to take care of himself. Hal trusted Kyle and the latter has never disappointed him.

Jason had been showing signs of progress with every passing day. Kyle was showing much ecstatic spirit. Their arguments had dropped to almost zero. Talk about _'sex works everything up'._

But Kyle had a history with Jason. He knew Jason and his past, he's seen Jason at some of his worst days. If it wasn't because of Bruce's sudden arrival, he could see them work well as partners.

Now, though, who knew what was next.

"Hey, Jordan." Jason's voice snapped him back to presence.

"Yeah?"

"Check it out." The boy smiled and made a fist. His ring glowed a bit and built a green box the size of a shoe box before him.

"You finally made a construct?" He asked in awe.

Jason beamed at him. "Yep. I finally made a construct. What do you think?"

It was quite simple and small, though. He looked up to the boy. "Can you build something more . . . . sophisticated?"

"Well . . . " He made a so, so gesture. "I mean, it's my first time, so . . . "

That was definitely a progress since the day he came to Oa. "It's okay. That's a first step. You'll get the hang of it in no time." Jason nodded his head and gave a serious look, like saying _I'll try my best_. Kyle was also staring at him. He felt the latter somehow leaned a bit closer? Whatever. Maybe it was his own mind giving him shit.

So, he continued. "It's a process, Jason. You've passed the hardest parts of it. And you've got a great tutor, too. I'm sure you'll construct more stuff with proper practice__."

The small box abruptly burst open and a giant head, certainly bigger than what that box could contained, popped out shouting to his face. _"I'M BATMAN."_

"HOLLY SHIT!!! What the . . . ." But as soon as Batman's brooding face came to view, he stopped his green fist from connecting to the big head. "Wait, what?"

As if of cue, Jason and Kyle started cackling before him. He stared in disbelief at them. His heart was pouncing faster. Once second, he was confused, and then, he was _pissed._

He made a giant palm and slapped both boys away. They yelled in surprise and were thrown farther from him. He flew toward them, hoisted Jason up by his jacket and . . . He growled to his face, but didn't know what else to do.

He had _enough._ Prior that day, he was humiliated by Bruce, and now his _Not_ son, played a stupid prank on him? Guess who had enough of Bat bullshits for one day?

He rushed to the kid to slam some senses to him, but he found himself holding back on doing so. Jason wasn't like Bruce, and this close . . . . He awfully smelled of alien alcohol. He didn't appear drunk, though. His eyes and breath seemed pretty normal. So it meant that he deliberately did that. Did Jason even know what he's gone through that day?

"You picked the wrong day to mess with me, kid." He brought his fist up__.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Take it easy, dude." Jason snickered as he stood. "Just trying to lighten up the mood."

"Jay." Kyle appeared behind him as he put a hand on his shoulder, giving the boy a warning look.

"What? It's a Bat thing. You think it's only about entrance? It's about leaving an impression, duh!" He gave Hal a shy smile. "Sorry." Clearing not meaning it at all.

He huffed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He liked the kid, he couldn't bring himself to scowl at him.

"Let's just get the hell out of here." He finally said. But before they started to jump up, he remembered something. "Hey, Jason."

The said boy turned to look at him.

He licked his lips and maintained eye contact for a whole minute to make sure his words were going to sit where they needed to. "I just want you to know that we got your back, okay?"

Jason didn't reply. He merely stared at Hal.

He took it as his cue to go on. "Whatever you want to do, we'll respect it. But if you _. . . .don't_ want to do it, then we'll be by your side."

A pause. He thought he'd hear Kyle jumping in the conversation to make an objection any time now, but he was uncharacteristically quiet.

"Now I know what you did as the Red Hood, but that was _before_ a power ring chose you. It's a new beginning. A chance for you to redeem your past crimes. If the ring sees you worthy of a second chance, then you better believe it's the damn truth."

Jason's eyes had a hint of understanding. He got the message.

"From now on, your time starts. If you cross any lines as a Green Lantern, then that's when we'll be coming after you."

Jason ran a hand though his hair and nodded his head a few times, peeking glances at Kyle, like asking him to give him a hand here.

"But for now." Hal put a firm hand Jason's shoulder to get his attention fully on him. He wanted the boy to feel that Hal meant every single word he was about to say. "You're one of _us._ A Green Lantern. And we take care of of each other."

Only when he was sure he detected closure in the kid's eyes did Hal smile. He didn't know who he was aiming to assure the most, but he knew one thing for sure.

He liked the kid too much to lose him over his past nightmare, dressed like a Bat, brooding, and grousing the hell out of everyone.

_Yeah, not going to happen._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the part where Jason scared Hal was lame and all, but I just figured, F**k it, it's necessary because.... REASONS.
> 
>  
> 
> Quick Irrelevant question. Does anyone watch Anime here?


	27. Chapter 27

"Jason."

The said boy stood before him, arms folded on his chest, showing his tense muscles. But his tension was masked behind an emotionless expression, the poker face _he_ himself taught the younger.

Bruce was grateful for the privacy they were given, or maybe it was merely to Jason's request. He was about to step closer when Jason's snarl made him freeze on his feet.

"Listen to me, old man." He pointed his accusing finger at Bruce. "I don't know what your fucking problem with me is that you'd do _anything_ to get to me. I don't know, and I don't _want_ to know." He sounded more tired than angry. Like those nights in which he stood awake after patrol to do his homework.

Jason continued. "I just want you to know that if I wanted, you would've never found me. I could _refuse_ to see you for all I know, and there ain't shit you can do about it. The universe is much bigger than you, me, and Gotham. Batman's not a God here, and I'm not a _criminal_ here."

Jason frowned, his hands was grabbed into a fist beside him. He kept shooting Bruce his venomous glare. Bruce was itching to get closer to him, he had reviewed everything he wanted to tell Jason. That was how he worked. He was either punching someone or getting prepared to do so. He was _prepared_ for this confrontation. He knew what he needed to say, what he needed to do, but . . . . he couldn't find the will to open his mouth, or step closer.

"What? _Cat_ got your tongue?" Jason was getting impatient. He was hitting where it was still sore. He was angry, he was lost, and when he was angry and lost, he shot words that hurt more than actual bullets.

"Look, I ain't Dick . . . . I don't know what the fuck's going on in your head. _I DON'T KNOW,_ okay? So fucking get over with this already!"

Just him.

Jason preserved that anger just for him. Since the first time he caught that boy steeling his expensive tires, trying to act tough and getting furious because he knew he wasn't fooling anyone; Since their first encounter, the encounters that followed after, and after, and after till they got here, at that moment where Bruce went through hell and back to see him. Even then, even there, he kept that especial anger just for him, Bruce, his mentor . . . . his father.

. . . . . Was he ever the same for Jason?

The aforesaid boy breathed through his nose, he could hear the fast exhale, see the movements of his Adam's apple as he gulped. He seemed to be moving his tongue, he was trying to say something, but refrained himself. Being able to read Jason's body language was more of a habit than full concentration.

"Jason . . . ."

 _"Jason?_ That's all you have to say?"

Silence.

He was met with silence as well.

 _"I'm sorry."_ He wanted to say.

_"I'm sorry you go tense when it's just the two of us. I'm sorry I made you feel abandoned. I'm sorry that I left you be, when you were suffering as much as I was. I'm sorry we're here. I'm sorry we have to talk about the people you killed. I'm sorry I never got the chance to be the father you deserved. I'm sorry for being me. I'm sorry that you met Batman. I'm sorry I got you killed._

_"I'm sorry that my parents were murdered. I'm sorry for the vow I took. I'm sorry for the vow you broke. I'm sorry you killed people. I'm sorry that I have to lock you up. I'm sorry for not being there when you needed me. I'm sorry for not reaching to you_ I _needed you._

_"I'm sorry."_

All those loud thoughts, screaming in his head, growling silently deep in his throat, they all came as a weak voice. "I'm . . . . I'm sorry." They didn't even sound like they meant anything.

He was expecting Jason to put up a fight, make a fuss, jeer at him, taunt how hypocrite he was, yell at him saying _"Sorry for caring about those filthy scums more than me? Sorry because I'm such a disappointment to you? Sorry that for the sake of justice you'd throw your own family to trash? Sorry that you're an asshole? Sorry that I'm not Dick? . . . . "_

He had heard them before. He had heard every single word from Jason already. He was expecting them to come again, but . . . . it didn't. Jason's face twisted into something between misery and confusion.

Maybe Jason wasn't that bad in reading him like he initially presumed after all.

Jason bit the inside of his cheek and licked his lips. All the hints he wanted to say something.

"Me, too." Voice as small as his own.

He took a careful step forward, and another. Jason didn't make a move. Too aware of Bruce's ability to read through his actions, the older man used the opportunity to stroll forward, closer and closer until there was only two steps between him and Jason, his son . . . . .

Up that close, he could pick up Jason's facial expression better. He had dark spots under his fierce eyes, but blood veins were visible inside his corneal, indicating either tears, or exhaustion. Either was a fair point that Jason wasn't ready to be standing there. But he was anyway, because he was headstrong like that.

If it was Dick, it would've been different. Hell, if it was _anyone_ else it would've been different. Tim, Damian, Barbara, Thomas. With them, it was easier. But with Jason, he didn't know what to do. Every move was a risk, it might've set him on edge, made him lose his temper, or the other way around.

If Dick was there, he would've already solved the case with a hug and called them on with their bullshits.

Didn't all of this happen because his eldest wasn't there in the first place?

He pulled his cowl off so Jason could see his face. Before they were Batman and the Red Hood, they were Bruce and Jason.

That was what Dick always used to remind them both.

"Bruce, I didn't . . . I'm . . . ." Desperation was apparent in his little voice. "I just . . . . "

He was Batman, he was prepared for _anything_. But right then, hearing Jason's tired voice, seeing his red eyes, Bruce decided to do what he had absolutely no plan beforehand.

He pulled Jason in his embrace, caged his board shoulders in his arms before the said boy could talk further.

_His soldier. His Robin. His son._

Jason went stiff at first, but soon, he melted in his embrace, too. Wrapped his own arms around Bruce's back. He could feel how rapid Jason's heart was beating, he was all to aware of of how warm Jason's boy was.

Maybe it was out of anger, maybe he was just uncomfortable at the sudden intimacy between them. But, maybe it was shame, maybe he was flushing knowing what he's done and how wrong it was.

He had killed a man and many more before that. Who knew what went in his head, perhaps he had no intention of ever stopping.

"Why?" He mumbled, hoping it was loud enough.

Silence greeted him. He felt hands gripping his cape into fists.

"Why what?" The murmur reached his ears.

"Why did you do this? Why did you do this to me?" His own heart was going crazy, like it physically hurt him to talk about those stuff to anyone, much less Jason of all people.

"Not like you care."

"Why do you make me do this? Why do you think I like doing it?"

Their voices weren't quite audible to someone standing beside them, but they could hear each other just fine.

"Because it's what you do. You're Batman, you punch crime in the face."

"I do, because I _have to._ Not because I _like to._ You _know_ it."

"Do I?" He pushed back slightly to lean his forehead on Bruce's shoulder, and took a breath there.

"You do."

silent surrounded them, floating between the sounds of their breaths and the gentle subtle rocking in each other's holds.

"Why?" He asked again, breaking the quietness.

"You wouldn't care anyway."

He ran his hand over Jason's back, sensing the stiffed muscles under his touch. 

Tired, uncomfortable, scared.

"Give people a chance. They'll always surprise you."

A soft chuckle. "Getting back at me with my own words?"

"You did it first."

Jason remained silent. It was unlike him to stay that quiet considering the outburst he made when he first stepped inside the command center.

Finally, Jason's small voice reached his ears. "I did what I had to." He sniffed, guilt detectable in the way he talked.

"You didn't kill Scarecrow." He pointed.

"I . . . I just. Because I _had_ to, okay?"

"Tell me why, Jason." He ran his hand over his back again. "Let me help you."

"How many fucking times had we had this conversation, Bruce?" Jason brought his head up to stare at his eyes, and as he suspected, tears were visible in his eyes. "When it comes to me, you always run too fast, but just realize you wanna help me when it's too late."

He just stared at his son.

"I know why you're here, old man." He put on a poker face again. "Question is, _why_ are you doing this to _me_ right now?"

"I wanted to see you."

The younger man opened his arms wide. "Well, take a good look."

"You're a Green Lantern."

"I know, right?" Jason didn't sound all that enthusiastic as the term suggested. "The first Bat ever, huh?" He smiled weakly.

He grunted in respond. Silence filled the gap between them again.

"When will we leave?" Jason asked, not looking at him.

"Tonight."

The younger nodded his head, and bit his lips. "Okay."

"But I came to see you."

"Take a pic then. Won't miss me that way."

"You overcame your fears."

Jason gave a simple shrug. "Isn't that, like, what we do everyday?"

"No."

"I get it. Batman was created because a little kid felt sad. But, C'mon. When was the last time you feared something?" Jason narrowed his eyes. "When you were a toddler?"

"Batman was created because a little kid felt _scared_ , and then decided . . . . he never wanted to be scared anymore."

He wasn't fearless. He _fought_ fear every night.

The younger turned to stare at him. He stared back, hoping the said boy would read through his words.

"I . . . . Scarecrow showed me . . . my greatest fear." He crossed his arms against his chest. "He showed me . . . Dick . . . his death." A sniff. "He temped me to commit suicide, I . . . I almost did. But then . . . . I remembered Dick. He wouldn't want that for me, he . . . . He gave me _hope_ , and I felt strong enough to . . . ." He frowned and ran the back of his hand under his nose. "Why am I telling you this?" A bitter hallow laugh. "You suck at this."

"No." That was exactly what he needed to hear.

Jason gave him a weird look, but didn't say anything.

"Why, Jason?"

Jason shifted on his feet. "I . . . I lost my shit. I wasn't thinking. I was going to . . . " He shoved his hands in his pockets, he seemed to be playing with something there, his fist was visible through the layer of leather.

"You feel guilty."

"Guilt?" He scoffed. "Oh, yeah. I feel guilty." The younger man fixated him with an intense glare. "I feel guilty, because I disappointed Dick. But when it comes to killing scums like him? I think of all the children who are safe in their homes and not under his filthy sadist hands. And because of _me_ , because of what _I_ did. If I could, I'd fucking do it again."

Something broke inside Bruce upon hearing those words. "But you have another chance. You're a Green Lantern now. Are you willing to go back to that path?"

Jason winced. "Do I have any other choice?"

"Yes. You have your ring."

"You're suggesting me to run?" Jason stared at him for a minute, seeming complex about a matter. "If you're not here to . . . . . Why are here, then?" His voice leaked of genuine doubt and confusion.

"I came to _see_ you."

Jason gave him a questioning look.

"I came to see you, and I did." A pause. "Do you really want this?"

_Do you want to stay a Green Lantern?_

Jason's eyes narrowed. "What? . . . . "

"I saw enough, Jason. Now I know what I have to do."

"But I . . . Don't you want to . . . Take me back to imprison me or something?"

"Do you want me to?"

"No?"

He shook his head. "I don't know what everyone expected me to do__."

"What you totally would do__."

"BUT, I know what I expected from myself."

Jason stayed quiet before him, looking even more tired if possible. His son had said what he wanted to, now it was _his_ turn to talk.

"I've seen people kill before my own eyes. I made a vow to fight them, not because law tells me to. I break the law every time I dress up as a Bat. I fight them, because the world is in chaos, but if we want to live _right_ , we have to make morals."

"What would the Joker say if he heard you say that?" Finally a small hint of emotion other than rage or sadness crept in his tone.

"He'd laugh."

"Naturally."

He continued. "If life's been hard on you, then it was hard on me, too. But unlike me, you broke your vow. I came all the way from Earth to see you, and I see it again."

He gave it a good measure of time for his words to settle between them before he started again. "There's always a way to come back. Yours is a space jewelry. I came to see it in you, and I do. You want it. You want the second chance."

_And I think you earned it._

"Bruce, I . . . " Jason bit his lip.

He took a step forward to put a hand around his neck. "There's going to be a long journey to come back from that. And I believe in you." He poured all he got in his stare and locked them with Jason's. "I always have and always will. I understand you don't feel worthy now, but when you do, Gotham will be waiting for you."

He squeezed the younger man's neck. "As will I . . . . son."

"Bruce, I . . . " His voice cracked, but he gave a nervous laugh. "Now I'm worried about you. It's not you, you've been possessed. We gotta ask Salaak to . . . ." Jason shook his head a few times in disbelief. Part of that exaggeration was aimed to piss off Bruce a bit.

He wasn't bothered, though. He smiled instead. "I know, Jason."

"Bruce, I . . . "

"I miss him, too."

A single tear slipped down on Jason's cheeks. His son nodded his head and pretended he didn't notice. He was trying to swallow the knit in his throat, but the swell in his Adam's apple gave him away.

"You fuck."

To his utter surprise, Jason reached forward and threw his arms around him, clutching the hell out of him. Bruce's hands wrapped around his son just as tight. He knew action spoke louder than words, he could feel every spark of emotions Jason was trying to deliver through his hug.

Both men weren't very touchy. They weren't good with emotions. They weren't always on good terms, either. But for once in their lives, their fear took the better of them. Fear of losing one another. Remembering how much they cared about each other despite their animosity. That every moment might've been their last.

He took a deep breath in Jason's scent. His soldier, his Robin, his son. He never wanted to let go of him again. He turned his eyes off of him for _one_ second and Jason was about to turn to a monster again. But not anymore. Because this time around, he was going to be there for his son.

Jason pushed his face to his collarbone and breathed, seeming to seek the same closure.

Who knew how long it took, they were content in each other's arms.

"They better not be recording this." Jason's voice broke the comfortable silence.

"I'll hack into their system."

"This shit's alien tech."

"Your ring can translate it for us, can't it?"

Hearing the sound of that sincere laughter, even though small, filled his heart with joviality.

"Hell, yeah."  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, when the plot was in my head I ALWAYS saw this scene with more tears, violence, and a lot of shouting. But when I got to actually writing it, idk, it took it's own term! Now I know, it was a bit confusing and don't you worry, they're not done talking yet. This is Batman we're talking about here. He ALWAYS has an intention. We've got some more chapters to go and well, all of them can't be filled with juicy JayKyle moments now, can they? ;)
> 
> What do you guys think? Was it too obvious or you didn't expect it?


	28. Chapter 28

Everyone gave them the privacy they wanted, even though Hal looked ready to argue, they respected Jason's decision wanting to be alone.

To everyone's utter shock, no shouting nor any noises indicating a physical fight happening was heard. They were both two stubborn kid. Kyle was worried whether they were going to just stand before each other or look daggers at each other. Possibly both at the same time. And no one was going to give up, that was for sure.

But then the said _kids_ exited the command center, both untouched as they last saw them and they seemed pretty . . . . . 

Content?

God, he damn hoped so. Because if they actually talked things through, then that meant Jason was . . . going to . . . stay . . . right? He was . . . 

Kyle sighed and closed his eyes. He couldn't admit it to himself he was genuinely urging for the notorious vigilant to stay there. Even his own mind was trying to protect him by rejecting any thoughts regarding Jason. If that was the case, he was only crossing his fingers for merely living to see another day.

He didn't sleep in his own room that night, figured Jason might need some space. He was exhausted and hadn't slept for at least 48 hours, knowing Jason, he had survived far worse, but it didn't make it okay. Kyle let him have a comfortable rest. He probably didn't feel like dealing with an awkward silence or conversation.

His ring was different from Jason's. It wasn't an ordinary one, it'd last him one more night without sleep.

He was about to leave the headquarter when a dark shadow had him stopping his footing.

"Kyle." The dark shadow literally grunted his name.

He took a breath to steady his beating heart. "Batman."

The said man stepped out of the shadows under the silver rays of what could be described as Mogo's moonlight.

"Uh, you need me to show you a room to stay the__."

The Bat cut him short. "I'm not staying the night."

"Oh, but . . . " He pointed to his back where Jason was presumably sleeping sound in his room. "What about him? You can't tell me you came all the way from Earth to . . . I don't know, barely see him for an hour and . . . go."

He didn't want to know how Jason would feel when he'd wake up to find out he's the sole Bat in Oa again. It was . . . . unfair to him.

Not like Kyle cared or anything . . . . right?

"I can't stay." Bruce said. "I'm late as it is. I need to go back."

Kyle frowned. "Why?"

Batman just stared dead at him.

He sighed and gave up. "Can't you just stay till morning? What're you going to do if you get there anyway? I'm sure you're just exhausted, too."

"I need you to do something for me." Bruce completely ignored him.

And here he thought ignoring their own tiredness was Jason's thing. Guessed it ran in the family.

"What is it?"

Bruce brought out a white sheet out of utility belt.

"I want you to give this to Jason for me." He gave him a letter.

Kyle took it and eyed the letter. It didn't have anything written around it. He just hoped Jason wouldn't throw it away thinking it's a prank. You could never know what was going on in that boy's head.

He nodded and looked up to the Bat. "Sure thing."

Bruce didn't make moves to leave, he didn't open his mouth to say anything either. He just . . . awkwardly stood there.

"Um . . . Is there anything I can do for you?"

Silence.

Kyle bit his lip as he nodded his head. "Right. So . . .  I'm going to . . ." He pointed to his room.

He was greeted by silent again.

He turned around to head for his room. Would it kill that man to waste his breath to at least say goodbye? Why did he have to make it awkward all the times?

"If you hurt him, I'm coming after you."

Kyle stumbled on his footing a bit. He whipped his head back to stare with wide eyes at Bruce, but found no one in the hall. He gulped and walked away, repeating that warning with that Bat voice made him shiver slightly.

Why would he say something like that? It wasn't like they were dating or anything. Unless . . . .

Bruce knew? He would, wouldn't he? He was Batman!

_Ugh!_

It was even harder than being with the daughter of Sinistro. Jason was the son of _Batman_ _!_ Jesus, why did he always choose the unreachable ones?

He didn't go back to his room that night. He stayed out, in his usual spot under the tree, and just stared at the wondrous sky. A green ray just left the atmosphere. It must've been Batman.

_"If you hurt him, I'm coming after you."_

Why would Kyle do that? If anything, _he_ was the one getting hurt there.

 _What the hell are you doing Kyle?_ It was a question he should've asked the first time they kissed. He shouldn't have pushed the thought away. At least he wouldn't have to be right there, thinking about Jason and feeling . . . . well, not alright.

What was he thinking back then?

Oh, he knew. He was in pain.

He was in pain and the universe dropped a drug before his feet named Jason Todd.

That was it.

He was hurt, and Jason seemed tempting. He kissed Kyle and if for only a second, Kyle wasn't feeling the pain anymore. He told himself that it was just once, it's temporary, he'll quit.

But, he didn't.

Once turned into twice and three times and more, because as soon as they would part, the pain would return. And Jason could offer him all sorts of drugs, all kinds of painkillers, and for nothing in exchange.

And before he knew it, he was an addict. Jason became that drug that made his senses tickle with desire and life again.

He just wanted to escape from that pain. He just didn't want to be hurt anymore.

But he should've known better. That wasn't how drugs worked. Addiction was always one-sided. _You_ needed them, not the other way around.

for once in his entire life, Kyle decided to be selfish and get rid of the pain all the while knowing all the consequences. He was strong enough to get over the side effects, he _knew_ he could, but as soon as the old wounds started to heal, a new one took it's place. And now, he was forced to keep running and running forever. Because apparently, he wasn't strong enough.

It was like the universe was just as sad as Kyle that night.

It was awfully quiet.

 

* * *

 

The morning when he told Jason about Bruce's depart the latter didn't look so taken aback. He either was aware of it or was expecting it to come at some point.

But when Kyle revealed the letter his father left him, he finally manifested an emotion from him. But being the master of poker face, Jason brushed it off as quick as it appeared.

For the rest of the day, Kyle was given a mission and headed out with Hal by his side. Jason was instructed to keep practicing his constructs with Kilowog. Everything was more than fine. Nobody even brought up the events of the previous night.

Batman who?

Kyle was dying to ask if Hal and Bruce talked before he left for Earth, but he refrained himself from doing so. Some things were better off unsaid. In return, Hal didn't ask if he knew anything about Jason and Bruce's talk.

That night, he stayed in the shower for an hour. He just stood under the warm spray, closed his eyes and let the water wash his tension away. When he exited the shower he was pretty sure he lost some good amount of skin layer, but he didn't mind. He felt light, clean, and at ease.

It was worth it.

The letter Bruce had left was sitting on the nightstand, untouched. Maybe Jason just didn't have time to read it. Maybe he was waiting for a good chance to read it with a clear mind without interruption.

Or maybe he was avoiding it on purpose.

Whatever, it wasn't Kyle's place to make assumptions. He put some white sheets of paper along with a black pen next to the envelop in case Jason thought about replying. And if Jason's dubious attitude didn't appreciate the gesture, he could always excuse himself with saying he wanted to sketch that day.

He didn't sleep in his room that night either. Jason still hadn't spoken to anyone about what happened between his father and him. Kyle didn't want to intrude his comfortable zone by sticking around. He was sure Jason needed privacy if he ever decided to read the letter his father had written for him.

That excuse sounded reasonable enough to even fool himself. So, he got dressed and left.

 

* * *

 

"Hey, Rayner."

He stopped, and for a moment, debated responding or not.

"Hey, Jay." But he turned and smiled against his better judgment.

Jason approached him, carrying a tray of breakfast.

"What's up, man?" Jason greeted him. "It's getting harder to get a hold on you." They walked up to a table.

"I'm . . . I'm around, you know." They sat on their chairs.

"Uh ha." Jason took a sip from his coffee. "Around."

"How's . . . How's your training with Kilowog?" He asked as he pushed a fork of pancakes to his mouth.

"Good. It's good." Jason took a bit out of what appeared to be a blue apple. "He likes it tough, but I think I got some of that covered."

A light chuckle slipped his lips, but he still found it difficult to look directly at Jason's eyes.

"Yeah, you do."

Jason hummed in agreement, but didn't say anything afterwards. They started to chew quietly on their meals. That was probably the only proper conversation they had since Bruce left Oa. He usually had no problem dealing with that kind of awkward situations, but for some reasons, it seemed like their roles had switched.

Kyle started to tap his foot under the table.

After some painful minutes spent in silence, Jason finally broke it. "I read it last night."

_The letter?_

He brought his head up to gaze at Jason. The latter was leaning against the backrest with one hand on the table, tapping his finger slowly on the surface.

"Oh?"

"Yeah." His eyes turned to Kyle's gaze. "And don't think I didn't notice what you did there, secret Santa."

He winced mentally. "What did I do?" He decided to play dumb, but he had a feeling he wasn't fooling anyone.

As he thought, Jason rolled his eyes and said. "Honestly, Rayner, it's kind of offensive. Times like this I wish I had a tag written _'Detective'_ stick on my forehead, because, really?"

He chuckled. "I'm just confused is all!"

"Yeah?" Jason leaned closer and folded his hands on the table. "Well, me too."

He looked questionably at the man.

"Why're you avoiding me?"

"Jay, I . . . What? Why would I . . . "

"I dunno, either. That's why I'm asking. I don't _know."_

He bit his lips. Those green-blue eyes were doing it again. Making him want to melt on the floor under their sheer focus.

God, why _him?_

"Jay, I'm not avoiding you. I'm just . . . . trying to give you some space."

"Kyle." He lowered his voice as he leaned closer. "Last time we talked, I thought Bruce was going to take me to jail . . . . But here I am."

"And I'm glad you guys talked things through, really, but I just thought . . . . well, you know. You might want to be alone to get your shits together and__."

Jason gave a hollow laugh and cut him off. "We had a _heart to heart_ talk in that planet, Rayner. Which part of that translates to wanting to be _alone_ to you?"

"I . . . ."

_I was the one who needed to be alone._

"I thought you were over it . . . ." Something in Jason's eyes changed as his eyebrows quirked down in confusion. "You still want me gone, don't you?"

"What? No, no, no!" He reached to put his hands on Jason's. He gave them a squeeze and made sure to look him in his wondrous eyes no matter how much that simple action took from him.

"No, Jason. That's not__ I mean, I can't . . . " God, it made it even worse, but Jason hadn't removed his hands yet, so . . . he had to go on. "That's not what this is about, okay? I just didn't want you to feel uncomfortable. I . . . "

Jason licked his lips and nodded a few times as if saying he didn't buy anything Kyle just said, but chose not to argue.

"Alright then." Jason looked aside and retreated his hands from Kyle's grip.

"Jay__."

"Any chance you or Hal are giving a visit to home?"

He raised an eyebrow in question at that sudden change of subject. "Uh, yeah. I think Hal's going, 'cause . . . ."

Jason tilted his head to right. "It's a girl problem?"

"It's Carol, yep."

Jason brought a letter from his pocket and held it up for him to see. "I got a little something for Bruce. Figured I'd show off some _real_ writing skills to that old man, and . . ."

The aforesaid man fanned himself with the letter a few times, and not in a way that suggested _'I'm hot and I know it',_ but rather . . . . uncomfortable.

"Aren't you curious about what Bruce had to say?" Jason asked without directing his eyes on him.

His heart skipped a beat for a second. It felt like it was a test, but maybe . . . could it be that Jason actually wanted to _talk_ about it?

To _him?  
_

 _"If you hurt him, I'm coming after you."_   Jason didn't tell his father, did he? . . . . He seriously couldn't have done something like that. Not like there  _was_ anything between them to tell Batman . . . . 

right . . . .

"Not even a bit?"

He awkwardly cleared his throat. "I just thought you'd tell me whenever you felt like it, you know . . . so."

"He gave me a second chance, he . . ." Jason chuckled. "But of course, he had to come all the way here to _see_ it for himself, but . . . I mean." Jason licked his lips and locked eyes with him. "He believes in me."

A smile crept it's way to Kyle's lips. "We all do." He folded his arms on the table as well, not caring how it minimized the approximate space between them anymore. "I'm glad you guys worked it out between yourselves."

"Yeah?" Jason asked smiling a bit himself

"Yeah." It was weird, but it was a smile nonetheless.

They were both content in that few seconds in silent that surrounded them, until Jason decided to break it. "Well, since it's the topic of working things out . . . ."

His smile slowly fell into a thin line.

"I think we need to . . . talk."

Kyle dropped his gaze on the table. "I guess . . . " He muttered. "I mean, if you want."

"Kyle, for fuck's sake, I _just_ said we need to talk."

"Yeah, yeah. Okay. Whatever."

What was there to talk about anymore? What could Kyle say?

 _I needed you for my own selfish reasons. That's why I was avoiding you. But now I need you so that I can be_ me.

what the hell was left there to say?

The truth was that Kyle was a lost soul, yearning to taste Jason's love but tagging the _'Friends with benefit'_ to them just so he could convince himself it wasn't true. But the reality was that his heart told a different story.

He was drowning in the sea of the words he couldn't say.

 


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mostly the letter Bruce had left for Jason. It takes place the night before Jason talked to Kyle.  
> Also, Bruce had written the first letter when they locked Jason in Arkham. It completes what happened between them in chapter 27 if you're interested. And if not, you can just skip it

 

**The night before**

 

Jason finally gained the courage to go near Bruce's letter, blinking at him from the nightstand. He found some papers next to it which he didn't remember seeing in the morning.

Kyle must've dropped by to take his sketch stuff. With that thought in mind, he opened the letter.

 

* * *

 

 

 

_I'm not really good at writing, despite what you all may think. This was Dick's idea. He said if I started, it'd flow on its own river. Big words. He's not the one who's sitting behind this desk. When I tell him that, he only laughs. Well, who can blame him?_

_It's funny, isn't it?_

_A grown up man, dressed as an animal, sitting on a gargoyle, waiting for crime to come._

_And when it comes, he's just going to punch crime in the face. And if that grown up man just punches crime hard enough, then that'll just make everything alright._

_It's funny._

_And what makes it funnier, what would make the whole world scream, is that it's not really a grown man. It's just a mask under the mask. That's what Dick used to say, and who's there to say he was wrong?_

_That Bat-man, way up there, looking over us, trying to save us, that's that_ kid.

_That's the little rich kid whose mommy and daddy got shot, and instead of mourning them properly, he got on his knees and made a vow.  
_

"I swear to the spirit of my parents to avenge their deaths by spending the rest of my life worrying on all the criminals."

_But what can he do when crime becomes a part of him? What would he do if his own family was crime?_

_What could he do with himself?_

_The ears, and the belt, and the Batarange, and the Batmobile, and the gargoyle, and the roof, and the leather, and the armor._

_How sad, how hilarious, how stupid, how immature all of it is. I want to laugh, too. Do you know how much I want to laugh?_

_But I don't. I think of you, of my children, my parents, my colleagues, the whole world. They can laugh all they want, I know they do. But you Jason, all my children, you wouldn't laugh. Because you know, you know what this is._

_After the alley, and the gun, and the pearls, what use was I? After the blood on her hand, what use was a little rich kid, whose mommy and daddy got shot?_

_I was pain, that's all I was. Everything else, every chance given to me, every promise I'd make, all of it was pain. And what use is pain? What use is being just_ pain? _If it's not worth it, if it means nothing, then it's better off gone, dead._

_I sat on my knees, hands together, crying, praying. But no one answered._

_No one answered._

_That was when I saw, and I understood, finally realized that we're all on our knees, hands pushed together, praying, and_ no one answers. _I surrendered, my life was no longer my life._

 _And I whispered._ "I swear by the spirit of my parents, to avenge their deaths by spending the rest of my life warring on all the criminals."

_So that's what it is. The ears, the belt, the gargoyle. It's not funny, it's the choice of a boy._

_I'm Batman._

_You Jason, you know it. Because if you've made that choice, to be a boy who plays dress up, trying to do the right thing, trying to make sense of good and bad, then you can see it in another. You can see it in me. I can see it in you._

_When I met you in that alley, you were just a boy, but unlike me, you hadn't surrendered yourself, your life was your own and you were fighting tooth and claw for it, you were trying to survive._

_I worked alone, I already had a son, you were a trouble maker, but I still took you in. Because I wanted a solider by myside, because I knew you weren't Dick, because I knew you only meant well. Everything I gave you, you deserved it. Everything I taught you, you asked for it. Because you were a good kid, because you wanted to be a hero._

_You weren't Dick. You weren't a sweet boy with a loving family and support. You weren't me, either. You weren't a rich boy with a manor and a butler. You were Jason, the boy who grew in up in crime and was destined to sink in corruption. But decided not to._

_Because unlike that helpless boy in the alley who lost his parents and fell on knees, you weren't helpless._

_You were strong, strong enough to think you could fight your destiny. Strong enough to never give up to your birth rights. You've seen crime, you've been crime, and you realized it wasn't a good thing. You didn't want that life._

_You didn't_ want it.

_And that's what I saw, that's what made you different from me or Dick._

_You made that choice to be a boy who play dress up, trying to do the right thing, trying to make sense of good and bad. You can see it in another as well. You can see it in me. I can see it in you._

_But I made a vow as you made a lie.  
_

"I'm cleaning up Gotham, more than you ever did. You can't stop crime, that's what you never understood. I'm _controlling_ it. I'm doing what you won't. I'm taking them out."

 _You say it's too late, you say I had my chance, but I'd say you're a fraud. Because you know what it is, because you_ know _what I am. I locked you up, because you told a lie as I took a vow._

_But soon enough, we both know that I'll break you free and we'll both wear our masks and laugh, and laugh, and laugh._

 

 

* * *

 

Jason finished reading the letter Bruce had left for him. He read it twice, three times, he read it as much as he could, took in every word which were written at the time he was in Arkham but apparently was failed to be delivered at the time.

Those were the words of Batman referring to the psycho him, to the murderer Jason. It might not have had any meanings back then. Jason might've thrown the letter away as far as he knew. But now . . . . . 

Now it was different. They were the same words, but with a completely different message.

It made him think. _Would it have made any difference if I read this letter back then?_

Probably not. But then again, maybe it would.

But one thing was clear there. If he had read this letter during that time, he wouldn't have been where he was now.

His eyes caught sight of another envelop behind the first one.

 

* * *

 

 

_It has been a long time since I've written for you. Now, Dick isn't around to force me into writing a new one for you, but I'm willing to do it._

_I'm coming to Oa. This decision seems to make a lot of people mad. Perhaps even you the most. Believe when I tell you that I don't_ want _to do this, either. I wouldn't have come for anyone._

 _But you're not_ anyone.

_I'm writing for you again, because just like the first time, I know there are some things that I won't be able to say out loud, possibly never. Like these questions people keep asking me._

"Why aren't you happy? Why you say you fail?"

 _There was a time where I would have faltered while thinking about them. My parents, Gotham,_ him, _all those questions. But now I know._

_I'm scared._

_I can't be happy, because I'm scared. I fail, because I'm scared. What I've seen, Gotham,_ him. _If all that doesn't scare me, then I'm insane._

_And I'm not. I don't want to be insane. So, I'm scared._

_But a friend of mine said it was okay. Everyone's scared. That just means everyone gets the opportunity to_ fight _that._

 _That same friends asked why I couldn't fly._ "You're Batman. You can do anything."

_You know why I don't fly?_

_Because I don't_ need _to. Life doesn't give us that much time to do what we don't need to. It's too short. You can never make sure the person beside you is going to survive the next few seconds or not. Isn't that what Dick has always been trying to teach us?_

_Jason, I . . .  
_

_I'm Batman, I'm not happy. That's what everyone knows. But what they don't know, is that I'm also scared. That I do what I do to finally be happy. But I fail, because I'm scared._

_You were given the chance to be brave. Do you really think I'd take that chance away from you?_

_If so, then you don't know_ this _thing we do as I initially thought you would._

 _So, don't be mad at me. I don't have to_ like _what I do, I just_ have _to do it. I can't stop being me. I can't stop being Batman. I made a vow. And I know you'd eventually make one when you become a Green Lantern._

_I just want you to know that that's why I'm coming there. That's what I'm coming to see. To see if you want to be a Lantern, if you're ready to accept that chance._

_We might not laugh as I presumed, but when we do, that'd be the day I'm finally happy._

 

* * *

 

 

Jason cursed under his lips as he finished the letter. A couple of tears fell silently on his cheeks.

That old man always had a way to make him feel like crap. Even the sheer mention of his name was enough to raise all sorts of emotions he didn't even know he had them in him.

This . . . . This was too much. Bruce couldn't just barge in there, punch his favorite Lantern, stand there like a nightmare, and hug the hell out of him. No. He couldn't say shit like that. Not after . . . . 

He pushed his hands on his face and groaned to his palm. He was fucking ready to _give up_. He was going to surrendered himself to the Bat, to confront the consequences of his actions. He _believed_ that he wasn't anything more than a worthless guy with anger issues.

He huffed and stared at the last letter again.

 _"Batman was created because a little kid felt_ scared."

 _"I came to_ see _you."_

_"You feel guilty."_

_"I saw enough, Jason. Now, I know what I have to do."_

_"I believe in you. Always have, and always will. I understand that you don't feel worthy now, but when you do, Gotham will be waiting for you. As will I . . . . son."_

Another tear fell  on the white piece of writing. He wiped his face, grabbed a paper and pen . . . . .

Wait.

Kyle, that sneaky secret Santa left him those papers and pen in case he wanted to___.

He cursed again. God, he couldn't tolerate that much shit in _one_ night!

_Give me a break already!_

He started writing. He poured all those emotions he felt on the paper. He chose each word carefully, he didn't hold back on being frank, of being himself.

He read it, he reread it a few times until he deemed it perfect. He wouldn't be there to see Bruce's reaction, but he didn't care anymore. Bruce would know it was him. That was all that mattered.

For his father to know how he felt, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess now you know why Jason was in a good mood the next day ;)
> 
> Thanks for reading! (^u^) Let me know what you think of this chapter.


	30. Chapter 30

What did Jason want?

He came from a long path where his initiate thoughts were all dark and doomed, where he thought his life was over after Dick, the only man he had ever sincerely gave his heart to.

He lived knowing his family spited him and everything related to him because he killed a bunch of criminals to save thousands.

He trained with Kyle, he tried to harness that emotional spectrum, he practiced everyday, channeled his willpower to use it as a weapon all the while staying in Oa with the awareness that Batman might've arrived any minutes to take his ring away.

He thought he was on his own. His lover, his friends, Batman, no one was there for him. He knew it and he had accepted that burden.

But what he didn't know, or turned a blind eye on, was that despite everything, Kyle has always been there for him.

Even when Jason had lost faith in himself Kyle stubbornly insisted on trying. He never gave up on Jason. Nobody was forcing him into anything, he was an honor guard, he could do whatever the hell he wanted and the Guardians could suck his dick for all he knew. But he stood beside Jason nevertheless even when the latter made it difficult for him, even though it took time and patient, Kyle spent all those sheer attentions on him.

If it wasn't because of Rayner, he would've never found that belief in himself, and so, Bruce would've never caught that sparkle in him, which would've let to a life jail time.

Deliberately or unconsciously, Kyle was either trying to help him or offered to help.

_"I don't know what you've been through, but . . . . I just want you to know, I . . . . If you wanted to talk about it, I'll . . . . I'll be there for you."_

That was what Kyle told him the day after their first intimacy. But that was then and this was now.

Now Kyle knew what he's been through, he had suffered a fraction of that agony by the loss of a friend he had a huge crush on. Now Jason was finally ready to talk. He put his heart before Kyle on that planet before Bruce's arrival.

What happened then?

He had a conversation with his self-consciousness looking like the projector of Dick. It told him that moving on is a brave thing to do. And Jason  _knew_ he was the bravest bastard out there. So, he came to terms with his past. He knew he could never forget his deceased lover if he kept going back to him.

That was how he found the courage to let go.

And as soon as he believed in himself again, everyone else started to do so. Bruce, Hal, the Green Lantern pals.

And all the while, Kyle has always been there

Now, his ring mostly worked, he was in good terms with Bruce again, had overcome his demons and was ready. He was there and ready to move forward, but this time around, he found Kyle wasn't along the ride anymore.

What happened since then?

He hadn't even asked about him and Bruce's meeting. Sure, Jason could be an asshole when people peeked their noses in his life, but . . . he would've told Kyle if he asked. Rayner didn't even seem very keen on the idea of talking.

Well, Jason didn't want to carry on a one-sided conversation any longer. So he stood to look for Hal. He found the aforesaid man at the command center and gave him the letter he had written for Bruce since he was due to go back to Earth. He could tell, Hal and the rest were dying to know what went down between him and Bruce, but none of them brought it up. They either didn't care, or already have watched it on security footages or something.

He headed toward gym afterwards, figured he'd let some of his steam off by breaking and building his constructs, test the waters and all. Kilowog found him there. He didn't know what the latter saw in him, but he decided to take Jason along to his mission.

They hadn't started from the best place, but the pink alien's intentions were laid somewhere good. The dude played it tough, but he was actually a cool tutor, he talked like he's been living in Gotham alleys his entire life. Jason became fond of that big guy in no time.

It was a pretty simple mission. They had to construct a giant wall around a volcano, save the ones stuck between burning lavas, and help construct their buildings which were wrecked in the natural disaster. Simple and efficient.

Jason found his heart beating faster with nervousness. It certainly wouldn't be his first mission, but that competitive spirit in him urged him to make a good impression on his tutor. In the end, he seemed to get the approval he wanted as Kilowog patted his shoulders and said. "Not bad, Poozer. You got out alive."

Huh, at least he didn't say some bullshits like _'Didn't expect anything less from Guy's replacement.'_

The only thing that bother him during the entire run was his stupid costume. It was just so . . . . what did Kyle say? _Original._ He seriously needed to think of a modification. He was a Bat for God's sake, he knew lots of sick costumes, and now he had a magic ring which could create whatever his mind injected in it. He was definitely going to put it to good use.

For the time being, he just wanted to take a shower and maybe find some good books around__.

As soon as the Lantern door opened, he was bumped into the face he hardly caught his sight anymore.

Kyle fucking Rayner.

It was quiet for a minute between them. He kept staring at the man while the latter gave him a lost look. His expression gave away how he wanted to bolt, Jason could tell.

"You going somewhere?"

"I . . . . " Kyle opened and closed his mouth a few times. "Yeah, I . . . I'm going somewhere."

"You've been going to this _somewhere_ for a week now." He entered the room and the door automatically closed behind him. He stepped closer and Kyle took two back.

"I, I just . . . ."

"Are you running from me?" He asked.

Kyle stopped, but Jason didn't until he was almost chest to chest with him. 

"I'm trying to give you some space." Kyle finally said.

Silence hung between them again. He stared, he didn't know what vibe he was sending, but he was sure it reflected some of Kyle's pleading emotions that were written all over his face.

_Please._

He saw it now. They both wanted the same thing . . . . They just wanted it differently,

_"Please go."_ Jason's eyes said.

_"Please stay."_ Kyle's said.

He grabbed the back of Kyle's neck and pulled him forward to smack their lips together. _Stupid, stupid, stupid. You can't just jump in blind and say here goes nothing._

Kyle reacted immediately as he clutched his fists into Jason's hoodie and deepened the kiss.

They didn't need to say anything. Actions spoke louder. They let their bodies take the lead and do the talking. That was how he found himself pinning Kyle up against the wall, fingers running up his now civil shirt as he kissed him harder. He poured every single word he couldn't say to his fingers, running under Kyle's clothes.

Kyle replied louder. His words traveled through Jason's hair, his arms, gripping his back hungrily to bring Jason flush against him. It felt so right, it felt so electric, it felt so warm, it felt like lo__.

He groaned and bit down on Kyle's lips eliciting a growl in return. There was no time for breathing, no time for thinking, only time to make up for the lost.

They made it to the bed, clothes thrown on the floor, skins roaming blindly and greedily. Illumination by the silver rays of moonlight in the darkness shone on them, it just became the two of them. Hungry lips, shaky fingers, shared breaths, just the two of them, tangled in each others arms and legs, rolling above and wriggle underneath.

No way to run, no words to say.

Just glassy feelings that were broken by each movement of their mouths. It got them pretty close, so by the time he pressed himself in he was on fire, so overwhelmed and exposed, because that was how good it felt.

He drove for the edges, for that peak contentment of pleasure. Kyle tried to hold onto his shoulder, he kept blowing warm breaths to his collarbone until his head hit the pillow. But he quickly threw an arm over his face to shield the involuntary expression he was making.

"Rayner." He said. "Drop your fucking arm." He clung the pillow under his fingers.

"W-why?"

"Wanna . . . see your face."

"There's not much to__Fuck." He let out a sound between gasping and whimpering. "See."

"Do it."

"No."

He groaned loudly and after a moment of hesitation said. 

"Please . . . ."

No responds came. Kyle licked his dry lips, his mouth opened and closed to silent moans of pleasure, but no words came out of it.

_No you won't fucking turn your eyes off of me when you're with me._

He grabbed both of Kyle's arms and pinned them on each side of his head. The Lantern didn't object, his arms were limb, he didn't even seem reluctant to push away.

His gaze roamed Kyle's face. Head thrown back to show off that delicate cut of jawline. A mess of a hair with its long strings spread above his head, looking soft and heavy. Face painted with red blush and night light, drawing every single elegance in his features to view.

Beautiful, absolutely. But not his, definitely.

"Why won't you look at me?" He leaned down until they were drawing the same breath. He wanted his words to sit inside Kyle's chest like his breaths. "Why are you . . . fucking running when I . . . "

_Why? Because I'm not_ HIM?

"Jason__." A low whimper. "If you could start moving again__. That'd be great."

And that was what he did. He dug his finger hard on Kyle's wrists and did what he was told. He got lost in the dim glow of the alien moon, reflecting on the man underneath him who looked more beautiful with each passing breath. So vulnerable, exposed, free, content, trusting, and unreal. It was a mirage, an effect that made Jason see things which weren't actually there.

Kyle surged forward to capture Jason's lips, something he couldn't be more grateful at the moment. He kissed with everything he had, sucked all the answers he needed to hear from that wet tongue.

_I need you as much as you do._

When the familiar wave of pleasure started to hit them, his grip became so tight his fingers turned white. Muted moans, love marks, skin on skin, lips on lips. They were enough to reach them to their climax.

And then . . . . even with the proximate of their bodies, it felt distance between them. Jason dropped his head on Kyle's shoulder as he released his wrists. The said man was breathing heavily through the afterglow. Jason didn't dare to be the first to back off when he was the one who started it.

"Stay." He murmured.

And no, it didn't slip his tongue. He said it and he was totally sober when it happened. He wanted Kyle to stay.

"Please."

That either could've been the last he'd be able to touch Kyle, or grow to something . . . . more.

Some people entered your life and right away you knew they were too important to lose. But could he lose something he never had in the first place to begin with?

Sure, the rout was always clear. It wasn't a forever thing, it wasn't even supposed to be a _thing._ But now, Jason dared to assume it _was_ for him. And he wouldn't mind waiting forever for that special person who was too important to lose.

He was into deep. So deep he seemed to have lost himself. During that cold darkness that drowned him, Kyle had become a closure in his life.

"Okay."

He held his breath for a second because he wasn't sure if he heard it right. But it was real. Kyle murmured it next to his ears, he felt the vibration of his breath there.

_Okay._


	31. Chapter 31

"Master, Bruce."

Alfred entered the cave, carrying a silver tray with a white envelope on it.

"Master Jordan paid a visit. He refused the offer to come inside, though. But, he brought a letter, which I have been inform belongs to you. I believe it was written by master Jason."

He examined the envelope before carefully opening it. He couldn't risk anything after all. It has been a while since he got a hang of Jason.

A smile crept its way on his lips as he started to read. 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_First of all, I want to call you out for being a shit liar._

_You can talk to Ra's, and that guy has a vocabulary worth a thousand year. You_ know _how to write just fine, you liar._

_I guess your friend was right after all. You're Batman. You can do anything._

_Second of all . . . ._

_Fuck you._

_What? Did you expect me to be like "Oh, Bruce! You rock. I love you!" Because, no. You suck, and I hate you._

_How could you write something like that and never give it to me? How could you let me swear at you, curse your beliefs, hate your guts, and keep my distance from you all this time? How could you do this to me? To all of us?_

_How could you do this now that Dick won't be around to see it?_

_Were we really waiting for his death, to come to our senses?_

_It's messed up. We're messed up._

_We were on the wrong side of the coin since the beginning. I was the criminal, you were the crime fighter. My dad was a scum in prison, yours was a doctor in a mansion. I walked alone on allies, you rode with your butler on your expensive car. You had a purpose, I just wanted to_ be. _You had composure, I had tension._

_I was only a kid, sitting on the highest rooftop I could reach, looking over Gotham, to your luxurious house far away. Thinking what a rich guy like Bruce was doing?_

_Eating all sorts of food on his plate. Probably swimming in one of his many, many clean and big pools, with gorgeous ladies by his side. Perhaps he was just sleeping, or partying with his friends. He was Bruce Wayne after all, he had a lot of friends. And a lot of time. Lots, lots of time to do nothing, to worry about nothing, to sleep with an eased mind._

_I was starting to see what people meant by_ "That lucky, rich, bastard."

_Me? I was still that kid. With an empty stomach, shivering from cold baths, barely sleeping for two hours a day, and lonely, with lots of stuff on his mind._

_I didn't have time. I just had to do whatever it took to survive. I knew I had to, but I still wasn't willing to join gangs or any dirty crimes. I deserved better than that. Better than that life my dad chose, better than the life my mom chose. I learned from them to live a good life, but I still wanted to survive, I wanted to keep_ being.

_We walked on different paths. We were driven by diverse reasons. But life had a way of detecting a delicious drama anywhere._

_Our paths crossed. I met the Batman._

_I was like, so what? He's supposed to be the guy who dresses up as a bat, punches criminals. But until he's standing right there, like a nightmare in a cape, you never think he's coming for you._

_Don't get so cocky soon. Sure, you were scary as hell, but I was braver than that. Maybe just stupid. But the truth is, I'd been a fighter long before I learned how to fight._

_Batman wasn't anything like Bruce Wayne. He didn't throw bullshits to media like the latter constantly did. He talked efficient._ "You hungry?"  _He bought me a proper meal, talked to me, let me sit on his more expensive car. Bruce Wayne wouldn't have done any of that even in my dream._

 _I told you._ "Fucking billionaire playboy thinks he's king of the world."

 _And you replied._ "Sometimes, you just have to give some people a chance, Jason. They'll usually surprise you."

_The joke was on me._

_Turned out, that_ fucking billionaire playboy _and Batman were the same guy in different masks. And before I knew it, I had food on my plate every night, I could take warm showers as much as I yearned. And I wasn't alone anymore._

_I was given a home, time to sleep with an eased mind, and multiple doctorates in criminology. But it was more than just lessons and drills. That was something I'd never had before in my life._

_People who believed in me._

_I can still remember that first night as Robin. And just like that, you were more than Batman. You were my partner. It was the closest thing I've had to a father back then. Suddenly, you meant more to me._

_But what did it matter? I was still_ me, _and you were still Batman. How could I hope it'd last? Why did I? Even_ you _weren't sure if I was going to be a hero, or something else._

_All these years later, life brought me back just to rub it to your face, I guess.  
_

"Definitely something else."

_We crossed paths again. I met Batman._

_I thought everything would change since you came across that punk alley kid. But the only different thing was_ my _attitude.  
_

_That's why when you tried to reach, I stepped back. That's why when you didn't avenge my death, I decided to bring avenge to you. That's why when we talked, it never worked out. That's why we let our punches do it for us._

_Because I wasn't Robin, and you weren't my partner anymore. One change of opinion was enough to tell us we could never be the same again.  
_

_Utility belt, fancy gadgets, leather armor, cool bikes, guns, sharp knives._

_I had it all. I could jump from rooftops, I could deactivate a bomb, I knew how to punch sufficient to really make it hurt, I knew crime, I was crime. But I wasn't a hero. Not really._

_Nobody trusted me anymore._

_Until Dick came and saved my ass. You're probably saying to yourself_   "He does that".  _Well, I guess you're not wrong in that case. It's what he does. He saves our lives._

_He was that line that connected our minds again. He was that hero who believed in me, and made me believe it, too._

_And suddenly, nothing mattered. You, Gotham, my death, Joker, my mom, dad, criminals who? Everything was_ him.  _It was Dick Grayson._

_Did you know I was going to proposal to him the night before he died? Did you know we were on a date when he got the call to go? Did you know he was the only one I've ever loved more than myself?_

_He died, and he took away my life with him._

_That thin line that connected us was gone then. That belief in myself was wrecked. It felt like I was raised fresh from the Lazarus pit again. Confused, furious at the world, miserable, lonely._

_Asking myself_ "Am I a hero? Am I a villain?" _  
_

_My answer came from the sky, as a green jewelry._

_It showed me Dick. It tried to remind me why I was chosen. I was a man who could fight his demons, because he had learned to overcome them. Because he had a perfect guy like goldie to show him the ropes. Because his blue hope was a circus boy who made him believe in himself, who gave him courage._

_Because I thought about_ him _, about the man I loved, and I just_ knew _he believed I was more than that. I wanted to prove myself to him. I was willing to do anything to make him happy, as if he'd be there to see it, to smile at me for being bold. I overcame my demons, because I didn't want to disappoint him. I was ready to open my eyes and find him there, smiling at me with pride._

_But guess what? I got a ring instead. But even that stupid piece of shit wouldn't work. It had to show me Dick's memory to remind me how much I loved the man._

_I see it now. Even when he's not around, he keeps saving my ass._

_He's my belief. He's the only one who truly had faith in me, and made me believe I was more than the crazy vigilant everyone thought I was._

_That was the message my ring wanted me to receive._

_But you'd think it was easy like that? That asshole of a ring fucked me up. It didn't stop there._

_It took over my mind to give me a piece of Guy's mind. As if my own death wasn't enough, I had to bear with another one's, too._

_Even in his last breaths, he never gave up. He thought about his friends getting up to save him, he thought through with his plans for future, about how he was going to beat the crap out of his enemies. It made me think of myself. I used my last breath to call out for you, too. I never gave up, even till the last tick was over. I knew you'd save me, or try at least. I just knew it. That just confirmed I was too tough to give up.  
_

_But something was missing. I had fear in my heart._

_You say you're scared. Wouldn't I know about it?_

_It was like history was repeated. They were trying to replace me with a greater hero. They expected me to act like him, dress like him,_ be  _him.  
_

"Guy would. Guy wouldn't. Just like how Guy would've done it. It didn't take long for Guy to do that. Guy this, Guy that. Guy, Guy, Guy, _Guy."_

_Guess you could say Kyle was the Dick Grayson who saved my ass._

_Wait . . .  
_

_How's your favorite Green Lantern the Dick Grayson of space?_

_Huh! And they say Guy's ring has a type. But you know me and replacements don't get along well. Been there, done that, right?_

_The thing is, I was scared._

_The only reason I'm telling you this is because you have no way of proving I've ever said something like that.  
_

"Jason scared who?"

 _Also because you're probably the only one who_ gets it.

_I mean, I haven't really tried opening up to anyone else besides a few people. I can count them on one hand. Kyle's as good as any of them goes, but I'm just thinking he may not be as grey as the rest. He's too innocent and artistic for this world._

_Thing is, I was scared. But you know what they say. You can take the boy out of crime alley, but not the other way around. Well, as an alley kid, I was born a fighter long before I knew how to fight._

_I found that voice inside me, that blue light of hope, Dick's undying belief in me. I found it in me. And that's when I realized it wasn't the ring I was struggling to master._

_It was me._

"Forget the doubts. Forget the fear. The willpower to be Green Lantern in inside me."

_And just like that, I wasn't scared anymore. If only for a moment, I was me._

_Utility belt, fancy gadgets, leather armor, guns, sharp knives._

_Those aren't what makes a hero. Hitler even had a fucking mustache. But was he the good guy?_

_Maybe. Maybe he was in his own head, in a lot of people's mind. Maybe._

_Maybe that was what I condemned myself to buy._ _"People approval of my methods"  I was a hero in my own head, too._

_There was a time I abhorred you to my core. The thought of killing you was my obsession. Turning you into a murder was all that mattered. But you never lost that respect. Even while planning to set you a trap, I brushed off the efficient approaches. Not because I was afraid you'd catch me, but because I saw you beyond those moronic plans._

_We were pole apart from the start. But I want you to know this._

_Meeting Batman was the best thing that's ever happened to me._

_You changed my life, gave me purpose, filled my stomach, gave me shelter, education, a family._

_Believe._

_It can never be the same between us. We try, we meet again, we live again. But it could never be the same._

_when we wear our masks, we won't be laughing. We'd be punching the hell out of each other._

_I forgive you, I thank you, I apologize from you._

_I guess that's all I'm trying to pull here._

_Forgive you for not being there._

_Thank you for being there from now on._

_Apologize for being me._

_Who's there to say I won't be scared anymore. Who's there to say I won't miss Gotham's polluted air? Who's there to deny my obsession with causing a drama?_

_And who am I to waste time looking for those answers?_

 

 

* * *

Bruce smiled as he finished the letter. He couldn't quite put how he felt into words. 

Proud? Sad? Like crying? Relieved?

Hes shook his head as he stared at the envelope in his hands. He looked up to the Robin costume behind him, and murmured to himself. 

"Just please don't let me regret it."


	32. Chapter 32

It wasn't his first mission. It wasn't even his first Lantern mission whatsoever. He didn't know much about those bulky, huge, lizard, mutated aliens other than the fact that he was supposed to beat the shit out of them.

So yeah, Jason didn't even know why he seemed to have taken a personal bone with them like that. He constructed a giant hammer and tossed those criminals around like he was playing golf. The violence wasn't even that necessary, those creatures were just made by that planet's government to cause public distraction, so the mastermind criminals could get their hands on some high documents without being noticed.

Not so subtle if Green Lantern's sensors could pick up their information that quick.

Kyle was headed toward the aimed department, leaving Jason to take care of that mass chaos all by himself. Yeah, trust the guy who _just_ made it official being an intergalactic officer. Honestly, it wasn't that bad. It was an act of cooperation on both of their sides, Kyle took care of the inside area, where there was limited space for doing magic with your ring, which only translated to _'A work for professionals'_ , and Jason got the open area to create and destroy things as he deemed necessary.

The way he was working so far didn't suggest _necessary_ by any means. He kept beating them like they had eaten his breakfast, or snatched his favorite pillow from beneath his head while he was asleep.

He couldn't count the many times he wanted to smash stuff and make a mess out of everything and everyone, but he got lots of factors which held him back. Bruce, Dick, Roy, Tim, probably Bizarro. Maybe Kori, too . . . . okay, he got it, literally everyone around him.

But now? This Lantern thing was making up for all those loss.

You've ever felt so irritated with someone you wanted to smash a vase over their thick heads? Well, just picture the hardest vase you can think of and do it. That was probably going to be the best thing he liked about being a space cop.

Oh, and was there any doubts they were going to put him up with Kyle as partners in the first place? Nope. But he had a feeling it had something to do with the fact that Rayner was the only one who could possibly bear with Jason's shit.

He was a difficult man, in times he could admit to that bit himself, not that he was proud of it or anything, but he had the guts to acknowledge it, thank you very much. And knowing that, he was absolutely fine working by himself. Being alone had a lot of benefits, like not having to deal with that idiot of a partner and his carelessness.

"You're injured." He was pretty confidence he managed to sound as dry as the message he was trying to deliver.

_I don't give a shit. Just wanted to remind you how stupid you are._

Kyle put a hand on his side to hide his nasty wound. "It'll heal in no time."

"Oh, that's not what I remember from mister _'If you're low on charge, save it for the flight back to Mogo'._ What gave you the impression I'm generous enough to take you there if you run out?"

Kyle grunted and looked aside, angrily walking away. "None of your business, Jay." Clearly the pain was working its way to his system. The cranky mood was showing up.

_Well, nice to meet you cranky. I'm Jason Todd._

"Yeah, you're welcome for saving your sorry ass." Jason shot back.

Rayner's head whipped back to snarl at him. "I HAD this! You're the one who whooped in and ruined my plan. Yeah, thanks so fucking much for tearing the whole floor down while I _told_ you to do not engage."

"Your charge was under ten percent, you idiot__."

Rayner snapped. "I _know_ what I'm doing! I've been doing this long before you__."

"Fucking rich coming from _you._ I've been in this damn thing longer__."

"For God's sake! What's the hell's your problem?" Kyle frustratingly threw his hands up in the air.

"Let me see your wound. I can do something about it." He approached the said man, reached for his wrist, holding his injured side only for Kyle's hand to stop him midway.

"No. My ring can heal it."

"Fuck that! I GOT this. Let me use mine, you're low on charge."

"I have enough."

"You trying to kill yourself?"

"Dammit, Jason!" He grunted in pain again. _"LET go."_

"You like pain?" He raised his voice to Kyle's face. "I knew you fuck-head Lanterns were masochist, but I'm trying to save your stupid ass, Rayner. Stop acting like a dick."

Kyle just snatched his away. "'I don't need your _help_ , okay? I'm fine!" He walked away from Jason.

"We get it! You're tough meat, but it's going to__."

"I said I'M FUCKING FINE!"

"Screw this, Rayner."

"NO, Jay__."

 _"GUYS, SHUT THE FUCK UP!"_ Hal's voice came through their rings and made them both pause their actions. _"Arrest those criminals and get your damn asses back to Oa, NOW."_ He mumbled some incomprehensive words before leaving. Probably something along the line _'Too early for this shit'_ or _'Too old for this shit'._ Literally, Jason and Kyle were too much for that man. He didn't deserve to deal with those shitheads.

Even though Kyle was wearing a mask, Jason felt his glare to his core. Who was Jason not to return such a warm gesture of affection with his own glare?

It felt like they were on their multiverse travels again, and this time, the invisible Donna Troy was the wound which Kyle owned and Jason wanted to get his hands on.

Not literally, but the point still stood.

 

* * *

Next missions chilled the tension between them. He was getting used to Kyle constantly ordering him around. He could safely say he took them for granted if anything.

Instead, his attention was being drawn somewhere else. Like the fact that he still slept in Kyle's room even if they didn't have mind blowing sexy times all those times. Or the fact that Kyle still refused to acknowledge the subject of _them._

They existed. They were right there. Before each other. On the same bed. On the same mission. With the same job. Partners, literally as the word suggested. He had woken many times in the middle of night, because they had their arms and legs tangled and it was impossible to move to another position without wiggling much.

Jason wouldn't say it to his face, but he had lost count of the many times Kyle slapped his hand over Jason's face in sleep, scaring the shit out of him. If Kyle didn't look that cute while sleeping, with his hair shelved, mouth partly open, or the way his eyelids looked kind of pretty, and his cheekbones stood under the midnight light__.

He face palmed himself mentally.

_We get it, Jay. You're weird as hell staring at him in the middle of night like THAT._

God, he didn't even want to think about the dirty, naughty thoughts looking at his lips brought.

Nope.

He was more curious about the aliens beneath him as they floated above their city. Walking around in nude, and not even batting an eye that maybe their gaze lingered too much on each others sexual organs. Where exactly where those organs anyway?

"You ever wonder?" He asked before he could stop himself.

"About what?" Kyle crossed his arms against his chest.

He shrugged. "I don't know, like their . . . . They're naked ninety percent of the times. But what's their . . . . you know, where's their dicks?"

"Your ring can answer those mental questions." The Lantern replied without even turning to regard him with a look, like Jason hadn't just asked such a weird question.

"Yeah? What does yours says about'em?"

"They're genderless."

Oh, that explains it.

"So . . . that means they can bum whoever they want?"

"Basically."

"Wow. That's good to finally know."

Kyle gave him a look from the corner of his eyes. "Their sexuality?"

"Nah." He deliberately grinned and looked back. "The fact that your ring's a pervert."

"Fuck you, Jason. Your _mind's_ a perv."

He only chuckled. _Tell me about it._

 

* * *

 

Seriously?

The boy knew nothing about _awkwardness,_ Jason swore. He just told Kyle they were out of condoms, which meant no juicy moments, but apparently Rayner was too high for logic as he sat up from where he was laying under Jason's weight, to pull him by his shirt and kiss the goddamn hell out of Jason.

Fuck safety. Fuck condoms. There were many, _many_ other ways to have a good time.

He kissed Kyle back, poured everything he had into those warm and wet lips, stroking his mouth passionately. Before he knew it, they were standing up, pressing their bodies hard against each other. Kyle tugged at the hair near his neck and ran his fingers through them comfortably.

The friction between their groins was driving Jason crazy. Kyle bit his bottom lips and kept rocking his hips against Jason, and _fuck._ He moaned out loud as the said man started to nip on his swallowed lips.

Jason's hands flailed until he found the hem of Kyle's shirt. He broke the kiss to pull it over his head and threw it somewhere carelessly. God knew how much he himself absolutely _hated_ fetching those cloths afterwards, but oh hell, that was half of the fun, right?

His eyes fell on the clean torso of Kyle. He took in that sight like he was seeing it for the first time. His hands wandered on his chest, his fingers seemed to fancy that Lantern scar as they gently traced over them along with every muscle that was carved by gods themselves.

Who didn't love a perfect and flawless body? But what did it matter if it wasn't? He had worshiped the body of all his previous lovers, he was fucking in _love_ with every single scar in Dick's body. It wasn't like he minded them, the opposite actually. He loved them. He didn't know how the hell Kyle ended up with such a sever scar with a magic ring to heal all his injuries without leaving any traces, but he didn't ask.

Didn't need to. Kyle was a hero who wore that scar like a proud medal. And Jason loved how perfect it was in its imperfection.

Nobody had to be perfect to be what you needed.

Kyle's focus turned to Jason's jawline as he peppered kisses and bites and sucked on them over and over again. He felt Kyle's lips vibrate against his skin as he let out a small cry when Jason pinched his nipples.

Kyle pushed him on the bed and climbed on top of him to straddle his hips.

"Someone's pretty excited." He teased, grinning up to Kyle, roaming his hands on Rayner's thighs.

"Has anyone ever told you, you talk too much during sex?"  Kyle said as he grinded their groins against each other.

Jason bit his lips, but the moan inside his throat slipped out anyway. He chuckled and said. "Has anyone ever told you, you're too impatient during sex? I haven't even started the _dirty talk."_

"Well, I know for a fact what I _don't_ want you to be wearing right now." He placed both of his hands on either side of Jason's head. "And I know what _I'm_ going to do you."

"Oh, yeah? Do tell, Rayner." His grin only widened, which caused Kyle to groan. "Wanna know what _I'd_ do to you?"

"Action speaks louder."

"My mouth's capable of more than one skill. I know a certain someone who's come just by that on multiple situations. And I note, not all of them involved much of my saliva on his body__."

"Fucking HELL, Jason! Just shut up and let me suck you off!"

Jesus, his expression was priceless.

"Nice start. But try to be more detailed next time. Like, talk about specific parts, like your tongue__." He totally _had_ to do that. He regretted nothing. But Kyle sat straight and moved to leave__. "Alright, alright, you delicate artist." Even though he was laughing his ass out in his head, he managed to show an emotionless face to Kyle.

Rayner frowned down at him. For a second, he looked like he might leave Jason and his poor cock to die in torture, but eventually sighed and gave up.

He leaned down and kissed his lover again. But this time around, Jason broke it. "Wait."

Kyle gave him a questioning look.

"I . . . I just remembered something."

"What?"

He stared at Rayner and contemplated about telling him or not. Because, well, he was pretty content with the way things were heating up and didn't want to__.

"What is it, Jay?"

"I just remembered where I put the condoms." He quickly blurted.

A part of him was expecting Kyle to pull back and go, because Jason would be so done with that shit too if he was in the Lantern's shoes. But Kyle just gave him an irriated expression, like Jason just slapped him for no good reason. So, he was taken aback by Kyle's next words.

"You mean I could ride you this whole time?"

"Uh . . . " He was probably looking dumbfounded. Totally dumbfounded indeed. "Yeah?"

Kyle rolled his eyes and Jason laughed at his sore face. He really tried hard to hold himself back from saying _'Love it when you spice things up'._ Literally.

He guessed it was true what they said. Fall for someone and you can act crazy around them without getting drunk.

.

.

.

.

Wait . . . .

WAIT A FUCKING SECOND!!!

 

* * *

 

Jason didn't spend that much time in high school, but that little much was enough to familiarize him with a horror called Teenage Drama. One of those shows he hated the most was the rumors about other's relationship.

Who the fuck cared?

All the students back at the time apparently.

One of the reasons kids today were smarter and more successful in their lives was probably because they didn't peek their noses to their classmate's love life. Most likely because they didn't have time to spare for messing around, but still, _the point._

Now, he was miles and years away from those days, but it felt like high school musical one more time. An intergalactic this time.

The rumors about him and honor guard Rayner had spread like a virus around Oa. Of course, they were advanced aliens, they didn't give a flying shit about who fucked who, but even deep in the space, you'd find some people who ate up from that drama.

Space smurfs weren't okay with it, obviously. For one, because when feelings were involved in business, that job would turn to full filling kinky fantasies, and could ultimately lead to a distraction on their line of work which required sheer concentration.

They weren't wrong, noting how Bruce and Selina's love life went on rooftops. But there was something utterly wrong with their assumption.

He and Kyle were not a fucking thing!

How could John and Hal let something like that go on? He swore, it was high school one more time. Seriously, what was the difference? They even had their black and green uniforms with the logo of Green Lantern. Basically a school uniform.

And when he confronted the big honor guards about that shit, they only brushed him off.

"Yeah, you're a stubborn ass. You'd be alright, Jason." Hal said, not even giving it a second thought.

"Christ." He groused out loud and stormed out.

Someone shouted from behind. "I thought your name was Jason!"

Fucking seriously?

 

* * *

 

Either Kyle was a mind reader, or his guardian angel. He preferred to accept the first theory, though. 

One night he returned from a mission with big guys, and with him, brought a couple of books for Jason. Being a space cop was cool, they pulled a shit tone of stunts everyday, but for Jason, everywhere without rooftops and a TV got boring as hell after a while.

And now Kyle had saved him from suffocating to boredom.

"Only for that, I might not hate you much."

"Thank you very much for your kindness." Kyle mocked a bow.

They sat on their usual spot on the bed. Kyle on the right side, and Jason on the left. Kyle opened his sketch book, constructed a surreal flower with his ring and started drawing. He probably saw it on his last mission. Jason shrugged mentally, he guessed being a Lantern  _was_ the best thing that could happen to an artist.

He opened one of the new books Rayner had brought for him, and soon enough, they fell into a peaceful silence. He didn't know how long had passed, they were pretty much used to that quietness.

Since when they became that comfortable around each other?

"So . . . . I heard you went to Hal and John." Kyle said.

He looked up from his book. "Uh . . . " That was unexpected. "Yeah. Everyone goes to them all the time."

Duh!

Point?

"No, I mean about, you know . . . ." He pouted his lips at the half sketch on the paper. Jason sneaked a peek at it and wow, it absolutely looked terrific. That damn talent of his was kind of beautiful.

"The rumors." Kyle licked his lips and caught his eyes.

Jason was a bit taken aback. He never thought Kyle would be the one to bring up the topic, but, oh well, here they were going.

"Yeah, I . . . I did." He said.

Kyle nodded his head. "So . . . what did they say?"

"That my stubborn ass will survive?"

Kyle looked at him for a good minute before chuckling and looking down at his sketch again. "I have no idea who started this bullshit, really. You gotta believe me, man."

"It's okay, I get it. People are crazy about that shit. They'd find it everywhere." He dismissed it as nonchalant as he could master.

Which elicited another light chuckle from Kyle. "Yeah."

"But . . . " He gulped and bit his lips. Those words were on the tip of his tongue, but he didn't know how to get the courage to to spill them.

Kyle turned his gaze at him when he sensed Jason's hesitation.

"I mean . . . " He tried again. "It's okay, though. Right?"

_Oh, God. Here goes nothing._

Kyle just stared at him, but didn't say anything. Was his pause a good sign or not?

He used Kyle's lack of reaction to lean forward and press their foreheads together till their noses were touching. He slowly murmured loud enough for Rayner to hear. "Is _this_ okay?"

He wanted it. Jason wanted it so bad it made his heart ache. He wanted to put his past behind and go forward. But if you wanted to close the doors of your past, you had to open new ones. And this was his chance. His new door. He had to take a step.

Yeah, he could lose that small peace he had with Kyle, forever. It was a long shot, but he was willing to take it. He knew he'd regret not trying, even if it meant failing.

So he crossed his fingers for the best and locked his gaze with Kyle's green eyes. The eyes he found he wouldn't mind exploring a bit further. He stared and waited.

Up that close, he could _feel_ Kyle's blush more than seeing it. He just hoped it was out of something other than shyness.

It felt like forever when Kyle finally murmured back. "It's okay."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Kyle's lips twisted upward.

They stared at each other's eyes with a new fondness before Kyle slowly broke the distance between them and connected their lips together. Kyle's lips has never felt so soft, and the hand on his neck has never stroke with such tendency. It was like they were kissing for the first time. It felt real, it filled his chest with that familiar thrill he long had forgotten.

It was that void inside him which was finally finding something sufficient to fill the darkness.

First step. He patted himself on the back. It wasn't so bad.

It took this long for him to get the hang of his ring, and that damn thing was the most powerful weapon in the universe. He was pretty sure he was looking in a different pair of eyes. Technically the same, but . . . . They had a new passion in them.

For some reasons so odd to him, he hoped Kyle was seeing something similar in his gaze as well.

Kyle smiled at him again. That was good too.

Rayner leaned back slightly so they could properly talk, but still their approximate closeness. "So . . . You're in this for real . . . right?"

"The real shit this time." He stroke his thumb over Kyle's cheek.

The man nodded his head. "So . . . for start, how about you tell me about the _other_ ring you carry in you pocket?"

Jason couldn't help the chuckle that slipped his lips. "You've been _dying_ to ask about it, haven't you?"

"Well, you've been dying to ask about my scar, too, haven't _you?"_

He bit his lips to hide the wide smile that was creeping its way to his face.

"How about we discuss this with some drinks in Hoop? What do you say?" He asked.

Kyle gave him a smirk. "Jason Peter Todd. Are you asking me on a date?"

He gave a little shrug. "Maybe I am." He returned the smirk.

"I don't know, I mean . . . ." Kyle pretended to be contemplating on his offer. "You've been pretty mean to me for a very, _very_ long time."

"Drink's on me. How's that?"

"Deal."

Silence.

Suddenly, they both burst into laughter. What the fuck just happened? What the fuck was that? Deal? Mean? It wasn't a business work or a kindergarten play.

So they laughed at each other's silliness, because that only made sense to _them._

He pulled his dumb _boyfriend_ close to kiss his dumb pretty lips again, which made feel all the dumb things he has always needed, but didn't know where to seek.

 


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are. The last chapter!  
> It was such an amazing experience to write about these two, and I hope you guys enjoyed it as much as I loved writing it. Thank you all for bearing with me, and sticking around till the end. And sorry if you found some errors here and there, I don't have a beta, so. Also thanks for all the inspirational inputs and every single word you guys have ever left me. I appreciate all the kudos, subscriptions, and books marks. And I changed the title too, because it was a hasty decision when I first chose it. ;b

He has suspected Jason's other ring was meant to be for Dick's finger as soon as he heard the news about his death. Kyle was devastated to say the least. This was Jason they were talking about. He finally loved someone bad enough to want to spend the rest of his life with, and considering their line of work, marriage wasn't the wisest decision, but still, Jason wanted to tie the knots with him, only to . . . .

Kyle sighed in defeat.

He's wondered why Jason would carry that little velvet box around with himself, never letting it out of his sight for two seconds, but he guessed it made senses after finding out about Dick's unfortunate decease. If he had something that personal from Guy, he wouldn't wish to keep it out of his sight for a second, either.

It wasn't a surprising news who that ring belonged, but what dropped his jaw, was what Jason did after confessing.

He left his wedding ring in the space. Just like that, he just . . . . brought the box out and let the ring float in the space. As soon as the material was in touch with space's zero air pressure, it slowly started to be torn to pieces before their eyes.

Kyle's heart skipped a beat at that sight. He couldn't start to imagine the amount of willpower it must've taken for Jason to that. Especially how precious he held that stone and its memory to heart. Just . . . . .

God . . . . _HOW?_

He wasn't in any position to judge Jason's decision, but it wasn't so out of mind to imagine how difficult it must have been for the man to let go of his past. It was just a ring, though. Dick's memory would always be with Jason, Kyle had no doubt of that. But what caught his eyes was Jason's action at the moment, how much courage it must've taken to do something like that.

It was probably the first and biggest step in recovery.

Letting go.

He looked at Jason and took in that determination in his eyes, with brows furrowed and muscles a bit tense. Maybe he wanted to reach out to that last metal and take his ring back, but the thing was that he _didn't._ He stood and watched it disappear to nothingness.

So fucking brave.

That was what made Jason who he was. His courage, his dedication, his willpower.

"SHIT!"

To both of their utter horror, Jason's lantern ring wore off his ring, and for a terrifying split of second, panic took over him that Jason might suffocate. But again to both of their shock, his lantern ring sat on his right finger in a blink of an eye before letting his costume wear off.

_"Jason Todd of Earth. You have the ability to overcome great fear."_

Kyle brought his fist up, ready to scope Jason if something out of mind like that happened again. They waited. One second. Two second. Three second. Four__.

_"Welcome to the Green Lantern Corps."_

Silence.

"Fuck . . . ."

He exhaled the breath he was holding. His heart was going crazy in his chest.

Yes . . . . Fuck indeed.

They stared at each other for a while, letting the shock wear off.

Jason was the one who broke the silence. "I don't know why it took so much trouble to make me a fucking Lantern." He let out a long and tiring huff.

"Yeah . . ." Kyle sighed too, but this time out of relief. "You gotta be worth the trouble I guess."

Jason just shook his head and laughed.

Of course, _of course._ Jason wasn't left handed, Kyle _knew_ he was right handed, but his ring was on his left finger. It was because Jason's right hand was saved for his wedding ring. All this time . . . . in Jason's head, there was only one ring which belonged on that finger. But it wasn't really the ring itself, was it?

It was the fact that Jason wasn't willing to _let go._ And now that he finally was . . . . his ring . . . .

God, it was stupid, it didn't make any sense. Well, he guessed it kind of did in the ring's weird way. But . . .

And to think all this time Jason thought he was the wrong choice and that was why the ring was on the wrong hand . . .

"I think I really need that drink after all." Jason said.

He couldn't agree more.

 

* * *

 

The last time they were in that place had left a bitter taste on both of their mouths.

Hoop.

Jason hated the comparison between himself and Guy. And Kyle . . . . well, he had been dealing with complex emotions at once. Both clearly weren't ready to be drink buddies just yet.

But this time was different, right? They had come there with their everything. Mind, heart, body, secrets, insecurities, burdens.

They sat and ordered drinks, but didn't touch them yet. None of the two wanted to be drunk or tipsy to hear what they had to say to each other.

This time was different. They had to take caution steps if they wanted to avoid creating a disaster like the last time.

Kyle slowly opened up about his ex, the daughter of Sinestro, former Green Lantern, a doctor who was going to be the mother of his son in different circumstances apparently.

Soranik Natu.

Kyle told him how they fought a villain from future who wanted to wipe out the whole Green Lantern Corps from history. His name was Sarko, and he died in that quest. He found out about it when it was too late, but Sarko was his and Soranik's son, Sinestro's grandchild who turned evil.

He skipped the part where he cried till morning thinking about it. His son and the woman he loved wanted to destroy what his father stood for. He felt the pain of knowing in the future he'd have a son who would become twisted and cruel to his core. He didn't want Soranik to live with that pain as well. So he didn't utter a word to anyone about it.

But Sora was smarter than that. She picked up from Kyle's reserved mood and decided to investigate for herself. She did an autopsy on Sarko, because Kyle had been acting odd since he came back from fighting that villain.

Naturally, when she found out about Sarko being their son, she became furious, punched him and yelled.  _"It wasn't just about you wanting to_ protect _me from your pain."_

_"You fear that I wouldn't want to be with you. Fear that I'd be the love you let slip away."_

_"You fear a wounded heart!"_

He didn't exactly quot those words to Jason, but he could probably read how they hit him in all the bad places from Kyle's face anyway.

That was how he got his nasty scar.

In response, Jason shrugged his shoulders and took a small swing from his drink. "I should've guessed."

He frowned. "What do you mean?" How could he possibly guess something like that?

"I mean . . . " Jason turned his calm and collected eyes on him. "Even your scar is related to your chaotic love life. You're that great of a Lantern who doesn't wound in a battle."

He bit his lips and looked away, feeling a bit ashamed of getting riled up without even asking. As much as he hated it, he was quick to judge Jason on most days. Maybe it got something to do with the way he used to view the man.

On the first look, Jason seemed to resemble Guy in so many ways. From his physic, and his hoarse voice, to his complicated and somewhat messed up attitude. Much like Guy, Jason always appeared to have a bone to pick with Batman, he fought like he had something to prove, he argued with anyone who stood on his way, liked to be loud and get attention, but was also quite reserved and timid in his private moment.

They both thought their fathers viewed them as a disappointment. But so arrogant to them, Guy's father was drunk when he said those words, and Jason's supposedly father said that when he was under Batman's impression. Both men regretted their words and took it back as soon as they could. Still, the idea of being a failure was printed like a tattoo on Guy and Jason's mind.

But looking deeper, Jason was far, far distinct from Guy. That man was brave, but never stupid. He was reckless, but caution. Smart, but bashful. Angry, but reasonable. Jason drew a contrary between his confidence and insecurity.

Jason lived everyday with the constant thought that he had something to prove, like everyone was there to judge him, to get to him. That man was getting on his own way, he was too wrapped up in his own mind to see clear.

He was worthy.

How did Kyle know it? Well, he was friends with Guy. And he didn't want to think of Jason as Guy. He didn't want to replace his lost friend with anyone, and it wasn't Jason's fault that he reminded him of a certain red haired man.

Well, in the beginning.

Now?

Not so sure.

That has to be the weirdest, but also nicest date he's ever been to.

 

* * *

 

Of course, being a Green Lantern didn't always mean stopping a cosmic battle. Sometimes, as the chosen protectors of the universe, they had to take of some small, but no less important jobs, like aiding citizen of a planet with construction. Some damages were out of local's reach.

Jason never complained on any of those missions. It wasn't so far from mind, either. Even vigilants didn't spend their whole time fighting massive villains ad masterminds. Their first priority was to people. He didn't assume, he _knew_ Jason used to patrol every night to stop pity crime like street rubbery in alleys.

Well, a Green Lantern job wasn't any different. They were helping people. But it was quiet missions like this that got him thinking.

For start, thinking over what Jason said.

_"You're that great of a Lantern."_

It could've meant nothing for all he cared, he shouldn't have lingered too much on it. But . . . he's been meaning to bring it up. Him and Jason, they were going somewhere, and . . . maybe too soon to admit it, but he was content with the way things were pacing around them. So, he wanted to clear Jason's mind off of his false assumptions.

If he was hoping for something to come off that relationship, he had to let Jason know what he was getting himself into.

"This might _shock_ you." He started. "But I wasn't always the greatest Green Lantern."

"Barely." Jason mumbled.

He shoot a venous glare toward Jason, who ducked his head down to his grin, but didn't say anything.

"You know, when I first met Ganthet, he just." He made a hand gesture as if making a point. "Gave me a ring and said I shall have to do it. I mean, I was terrified!"

"Yeah, I know. That's when it hits you monsters aren't under your bed." Jason said. "They're real, and they're here to kill you."

"You got it." He sighed. "Took me a while to get the hang of this emotion thing. I had nobody to help me out__."

"That Guardian, Ganthet was it?" Jason jumped in out of nowhere.

"Uh, yes . . . "

"You said you're always willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, didn't you?"

He nodded. "Yes, but what's that have to do with__."

"You practically love that dwarf, don't you?"

Kyle twisted his eyebrows in confusion. Where was that man getting at?

"And why's that?" Jason asked, floating closer to him.

"Because . . .  he was my mentor, always believed in me and is always there for me."

"And _he_ chose you, right?"

Jason kept staring at him. His eyes had this strange concentration in them, like he was seeing something the Lantern felt naked against. Kyle instinctively reached for Jason's hand, and stroked the back of his fingers smoothly. He didn't know why he did it, he just suddenly had an urge to touch something, hold on to anything, and Jason was just . . . there, warm, solid, beautiful, and . . . he was there when Kyle reached out.

"You're getting away from the topic, Jay." He licked his dry lips.

"Shut the hell up, you prick." Jason's eyebrows knitted together out of frustration. "I know what you're trying to do here."

"Oh?"

"You're too cocky for your own good. Even your shitty hair isn't that good." Jason poked a finger at Kyle's forehead. "You know why I used to want to punch that stupid face of yours?"

Kyle wasn't sure, but he certainly wished his expression wasn't of a dumbfounded guy at the moment, because . . . . WHAT?

"Because I thought it was _perfect._ But you know why I don't want to punch it anymore?" His eyebrows softened a bit. Kyle watched the movement of Jason's Adam-apple as he gulped.

"Because it's not so perfect anymore." Jason finished his sentence.

Kyle stared at him for a good minute. "Uh . . . Thank you?"

"I hated you back then."

"I know."

"REALLY hated you. Like, I wanted to ditch your dumb ass in one of those universes and live happily ever after with Donna__."

"I like how you _admit_ you had it _bad_ for my girl__."

"HATED you to the motherfucking hell itself and back."

He bit his lips and laughed. "Oh, I _know."_

Kyle hadn't even realized how hard he was keeping his grip till Jason pulled his hand back to tangle their fingers together.

"Your face still looks stupid, though." The rookie Lantern grinned at him. "But I may not wanna punch it that bad anymore . . . . you know, just a _bit."_

"I know." He smiled at that cute piece of shit and his supposed _efforts_ to make his boyfriend feel better.

"No, you don't you, ass. You always need someone to smack your thick, nut head to make you see shits like this." Jason scoffed playfully.

"Oh, _you're_ the one to talk?"

"Ironically, yes."

He rolled his eyes. There went his attempts to establish some common ground with his boyfriend.

Boyfriend . . . . Jason, as his . . . .

If he was told that the notorious Red Hood, AKA Jason Todd, was going to be his _boyfriend_ , he would've needed serious medical attention, because he probably would've laughed so hard he'd rip his stomach open.

There was still times those questions invaded his mind.

_"Are we really together?"_

_"Is it really happening?"_

_"Him and Jason?"_

_"As anything other than stubborn boys bickering and trying to bite each other's head off, because they hate everything about themselves?"_

_"Boyfriends?"_

_"Him and Jason?"_

Ask it from anyone in the universe, they'd tell you that Kyle Rayner was the king of sentimental craps. He was smooth, approachable, easy-going, and moving on was probably a piece of cake for him if he really poured his efforts into it.

But who was to say it was supposed to be easy to move forward and never look back? He went through the same process when he lost Alex, when he lost Donna, when he lost Jade, and lost her again. He and Guy may not have been romantically involved, but it didn't mean his deceased was any less agonizing.

He didn't feel ready to take the next step in recovery. He was too damn scared. Yes, him, the Green Lantern whose job was to literally overcome fear every second of his life. He was afraid to smile again, he was afraid to mean it. He was afraid of letting himself fall in that bittersweet trap called love again, he was afraid of tasting the bitter aspect only. He__.

Jason quickly_Very quickly_ kissed him on the lips. It was light and chaste. Kyle could _almost_ believe it didn't even happen. Jason looked relieved, Kyle dared to even assume _satisfied,_ like he has made an accomplishment . . . .

Kyle on the other hand, was flushing red under the sudden burst of heat in his heartbeat. Which was stupid, like, _really_ confusing and, he should've seen it coming, but for reasons beyond himself, he _didn't._

"What?" Jason's eyebrows furrowed down in confusion.

"You . . . ." He had to close his mouth before he made the moment awkward between them. What was the big deal, huh? He _really_ should stop__ "You kissed me!"

Dammit.

"So? We do that all the times!"

"No, yeah . . . but not like . . . " He sighed. _Just stop it, Kyle._ He could probably imagine what it took for Jason to do that small gesture. And awkward respond to something like a kiss was pretty crushing.

He smiled. "It was really cute."

" _CUTE?_ The hell." Jason looked ready to shout to string of curses for a full minute non-stop, but he didn't say anything.

Kyle took his other hand. "Do it again."

Jason, that headstrong piece of shit, turned his head away to leave. _Oh, no. You're not getting away from this._ Kyle leaned forward to catch his lips slower and full this time, more precious now that both were comfortable.

He couldn't let Jason take all the steps.

 

* * *

 

_Love is when you least expect it._

_Love is when Jason chatters about his favorite character in a book he read, only to find a masterpiece sketch of if on the nightstand the next morning._

_Love is when Kyle talks about his little crush on his best friend, only for Jason to pull him in his arms and call his tears 'Space onion' to lift his mood._

_Love is when Jason bears watching a whole season of Tokyo Ghoul, because Kyle likes it so much._

_Love is when Jason gets injured on a mission and is being lectured, yelled at, called a prick by his partner, only for Kyle to kiss them away in their privacy._

_Love is when Jason takes his boyfriend out for a ride, because Kyle has never ridden with the Batmobile._

_Love is when Kyle laughs his ass out on Jason's first failure of a costume design._

_Love is when they flirt in front of their colleagues to gross the hell out of them._

_Love is when they have a huge fight, but Kyle would always put a thick blanket on Jason's bed, because he knows how much his boyfriends hates the cold weather of Mogo._

_Love is when they take each other to their beloved deceased ones' grave and sacrifice their own comfort for the other so their lover can grip their hands as hard as they need._

_Love is when Jason is the first person Kyle sees when he wakes up._

_Love is when Kyle is the first person Jason thinks of when he goes to sleep._

_Love is when Batman threatens to know your address._

_Love is when your mouth knows exactly where tickles the most on your lover's body._

_Love is the promise you make to yourself, to him, to your pains, to your past, to your future, to both of your presence._

_Love is when you make one step at a time._

_Love is when you make love, when you argue, when you taunt, when you flirt, when you fly through the galaxy, when you lay under the amber rays of sunlight._

_Love is when you help each other move on._

_And lastly . . . ._

_Love is like a rock you hold onto in the middle of a storm._

_It's always there when you least expect it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :)))  
> Let me know what you think.


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